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Too Late to Love Me
NovelShort
Hoàn thành
After the SATs, the whole class decided to go to the paintball club together. We'd team up in pairs, one guy and one girl, and the winning couple would take home a matching couple's bracelet. I starte...
Chương (4)
第1章
1: 1
After the SATs, the whole class decided to go to the paintball club together.
We'd team up in pairs, one guy and one girl, and the winning couple would take home a matching couple's bracelet.
I started toward my girlfriend, Margot Henson, without even thinking about it. She went and stood next to Chester Harding, the class heartthrob, instead.
Chester slung an arm around her shoulders, grinning wide.
"Sorry about this, Seb. Margot and I are used to gaming together."
"Somebody with two left hands like you, rich boy, would just drag her down."
Thirty-five people in our class, and in the end I was the only one without a partner.
But I still made it to the final ring.
When only three players were left, Margot suddenly messaged me that her stomach hurt.
I hurried out to find her, and caught a faceful of green paint head-on.
Chester jumped out, howling with laughter.
"You're out, Seb! Wow, you look like a green-shelled turtle right now."
"Told you you were stupid. Margot pretends to be a little sick and you actually fall for it."
Seeing me frozen there, Margot's brows drew together.
"Chester's had his eye on that bracelet. I promised I'd help him win it."
"You already win enough on every exam. It's just a game. Don't be such a sore loser."
I watched Chester slide the women's bracelet onto her wrist while everyone whooped and egged him on.
And Margot, a smile at the corner of her mouth, didn't refuse.
Turns out it wasn't just one game I'd lost.
……
The green paint was smeared across my face, some of it in my eyes, stinging until tears welled up on their own.
The deskmate jumped, then rushed over.
"Seb, are you okay?"
He shouted to ask if anyone still had tissues, wanting to wipe me off.
The class monitor shook his head.
"It's hot out, everybody's been sweating, the tissues are all gone."
"Miss Henson always carries a handkerchief on her, but she's a germaphobe and hates anyone touching her things. She probably won't want to—"
He didn't finish. He shut up mid-sentence, his face gone awkward.
I turned to follow his line of sight.
It was Margot, wiping Chester's sweat with her handkerchief, frowning as she did it.
"You played so hard your makeup's all smudged."
Chester gave a little laugh. "Well, someone wanted to give you a bracelet as a graduation gift. I'm not loaded like Seb, I can't afford diamonds."
The handkerchief picked up some foundation, but Margot didn't mind. She folded it neatly again and tucked it back into her shirt pocket.
"Compared to certain people who leech off their family's money like a freeloader, something you earned with your own effort is the best kind."
I stood there clutching the hem of my shirt, humiliated.
My deskmate wiped at my face with his sleeve and muttered under his breath.
"Damn, what's Margot's problem? Since when is being rich a crime? Your grades aren't any worse than hers."
"So the germaphobe thing depends on who it is. Is she really your girlfriend?"
I gave a tight, humorless smile. "Maybe."
But I couldn't stop my eyes from landing on the bracelets they both wore, glinting harshly in the sun.
Margot had told me she didn't like childish things like that.
Last White Day, I'd made a special order at the counter for a matching pair of diamond pendants, meaning to give hers as a gift.
Margot glanced at the brand and laughed, mocking.
"Seb, are you scared people won't know? Not only was my grandfather your family's driver before he died, now I'm a dog you get to leash with your fancy little collar too?"
"I'm not your servant. I don't need your handouts. Pull another childish stunt like this and I'll move out on the spot."
Margot's parents died when she was young, and her grandfather drove for my family for over ten years.
When the old man got sick and passed, my family took her in to look after her.
I figured she was just sensitive, so I apologized to her for a long time, said I hadn't meant it that way. She wouldn't so much as look at me.
Now, though, she didn't find it childish anymore.
Margot walked over and looked my face over.
"I asked. The club's water is off today. Just hang on and wash it off when you get home."
Not one word about the handkerchief she was carrying.
I looked at her. "You're wearing a couple's bracelet with him. So what does that make me?"
Margot's brows knit with impatience.
"They're just two bracelets in pretty much the same style. Can you stop acting like those people whose brains melt over relationships, slapping some boring meaning onto every little object?"
"Besides, it's not like you're short on accessories. Every one of yours is worth more than this. No need to fight him for it."
My nails dug into my palm. I worked up the nerve and asked the same question my deskmate had.
"Margot, am I really your boyfriend?"
The classmates around us all held their breath and looked over.
Margot's expression stalled for a beat, her voice cool.
"Seb, only someone insecure at the core needs the whole town to know just to feel safe."
"You really should take a lesson from Chester. He's never like this."
Bitterness crept up my throat.
Here it was again.
She would never acknowledge what we were in front of other people, like it was something shameful.
Because Chester was loudly demanding she squad up with him for a game, he ended up in my seat again, easy as that.
I sat in the back of the car, listening to Chester flame his own teammates over the mic.
"Big deal, your girlfriend fights your battles for you. Like anybody else doesn't have a girl backing them up!"
He nudged Margot and pleaded softly.
"Come on, come on, goddess. It's the principle of the thing. Save my ass here."
Margot shot me a glance, like she was hesitating.
But in the end she still switched on her voice chat and said, flatly:
"Bad? Then practice more. Don't like it, solo me."
I suddenly laughed.
Right. Chester didn't have to beg for reassurance the way I did, because someone would always give it to him freely.
Turns out the germaphobe act isn't the only thing that depends on who you are. So does what you are to her.
第2章
2: 2
Once we got home, I had no appetite for dinner and went straight to my room.
I'd just finished showering when there was a knock at the door. It was Margot.
She set a glass of juice and a plate of food on the table and sighed.
"I didn't turn Chester down back there because he's proud, and we're classmates. It would've been ugly to embarrass him in front of everyone. That's all it was."
I didn't say anything. She looked a little helpless.
"Still won't let it go? Then I guess I'll have to use this."
She took out a wish card.
"You said that as long as I held on to it, I could ask you for one wish. Right?"
I'd given it to her for her birthday this year.
I'd been afraid of picking the wrong gift and upsetting her, so I'd written this out for her instead.
Something in me softened. Was she going to spend her one wish just to get me to stop being angry?
Would she actually be the one to give a little for once? Every other time, I'd been the one to make peace first.
The next second, though, I heard her say:
"I want you to take Chester abroad to study with us."
"Don't worry about the English proficiency test. He already scraped past the cutoff."
I froze, sure I'd misheard.
"Didn't he already send in his college applications?"
Margot pressed her lips together.
"I know. But Chester's scores only get him into a community college here."
"His mom raised him alone, and it wasn't easy. Once he comes back with some polish from studying overseas, he'll have a better future, and it'll help his family's situation."
"It's fine if the school he applies to is a little ordinary. That kind of money is nothing to you, and being able to help someone out is a good thing, isn't it?"
I stared at her in disbelief.
Back when it was the pendant, she'd decided I was using money to humiliate her and refused to speak to me no matter what.
Later I happened to see her diary and learned her dream was to study abroad in England.
So I quietly applied to schools for both of us, and because I was afraid of touching that sensitive pride of hers,
I lied and said it was me who wanted to go, that I didn't want to be alone and hoped she'd come with me.
Back then Margot hadn't shown the slightest happiness. She'd even seemed reluctant.
"For the sake of your family taking care of me all these years, I'll go with you."
"But I'm still sitting the SATs here and submitting my college applications. I won't have people thinking I'm some parasite with no ability of her own, leeching off you."
And yet what was she doing now?
Me buying a pendant was pointless mooching off my parents, but blowing family money to send Chester overseas for free had a point?
I laughed, furious.
"That kind of money? Even the most ordinary school runs at least a few hundred thousand a year. If you know his mom had it hard, then he should've been working and studying instead of playing video games all day."
"He did badly, that's on him. Why should I cover for him?"
Margot's face went cold in an instant, and she gave a cold laugh.
"So you wrote this thing just to prove to me that you're a liar?"
"Sebastian, as a businessman's son, you should at least have some basic integrity. Don't throw away the reputation your parents spent years building."
"Families like yours love doing charity to dress up your image, don't you? I'm giving you the chance."
That was always how she was. She could always find some high-sounding reason.
To prove she was the one in the right, and I was always the one in the wrong.
There was no point arguing anymore.
I took a deep breath and took the wish card.
"Fine. I'll help him submit his application materials."
Only then did Margot allow herself a rare smile.
"You're finally showing some sense. I'll send you his file."
Her phone rang. She answered it as she headed for the door, her voice turning gentle.
"Mm, I'm heading out now. I know. The osmanthus milk tea at the South Street corner, no ice, a third sweetness, extra osmanthus, and one taro pudding on the side. Right?"
"Good, that's it. Wait for me at the theater, I'll go buy it."
Before she left, she glanced at the plate on the table.
"Remember to eat. It's not good to waste food."
The door closed. I picked up the glass of fresh juice, and the thick smell of mango hit me. I couldn't help a bitter smile.
So she'd already forgotten I was allergic to mango.
The truth was, when we were kids, Margot had been so gentle and attentive with me.
Once, an allergy landed me in the hospital, and it terrified her. The very next day she printed out a list of everything I was allergic to and taped it to the fridge.
She told our housekeeper never to use any of it, and whenever we ate out, she'd check everything a dozen times over.
Back then she could have recited every one of my allergies in her sleep.
When did it start, her smiling at me less and less, caring about my things less and less?
I'd told myself people change as they grow up, that she was buried in schoolwork and forgetting was only natural.
Turns out there was just someone else more worth caring about.
When my oldest friend heard about all this, he blew up at me over the phone.
"Sebastian, are you out of your mind? There's a limit to how far a lovesick idiot can go!"
I tore up the wish card and flushed it down the toilet along with the mango juice, and I smiled.
"I'm not crazy."
"After all, all I agreed to was helping him submit an application."
Margot was right.
You shouldn't give some object a pointless meaning.
Especially when the person it was for isn't worth it anymore.
第3章
3: 3
With grades and ability like Chester's, he could only apply to the low-bar schools that would take anyone.
Seven days later, one of them accepted his application.
Margot had been out with Chester nonstop lately. I barely saw her at all.
I forwarded her the school's paperwork, and she wrote back:
【It'll do, I guess. Chester says he's not picky.】
【Don't forget he starts in mid-September too, so the tuition has to be transferred over in the next few days. Then we can all leave together.】
As if letting me spend the money were a favor to me.
I sent back only two words: "Understood."
A few more days passed, and Margot called out of nowhere.
"Chester's inviting everyone to eat at the little restaurant his mom runs. He wants to thank you in person while he's at it."
"Remember to print out the acceptance letter and bring it. He'll need it for the visa and the entry process."
I was curled up in bed with a stomachache, and I turned her down. "Some other day. My stomach isn't feeling great..."
Her tone went a few degrees colder at once.
"Sebastian, lying is a really cheap thing to do. You just think a little restaurant isn't good enough for the young master, don't you?"
"Chester's been looking forward to seeing that acceptance letter ever since the application went through."
"Anyone in class who's free is coming too. Don't ruin it for everybody at a moment like this and let him down."
That last half a sentence was what she'd really meant to say all along.
I was quiet for a moment. "Fine."
At the long table in the little restaurant, the other classmates wore looks of envy.
"Wow, Chess, I didn't know you were this good. I heard the English test is really hard."
Chester was pressed close to Margot's side, grinning. "Nah, it's all thanks to the Henson goddess. She pulled all-nighters for a whole month, tutoring me over video."
"If I'd transferred into our class two years earlier, I might've gotten into a top school right here at home."
At that, my fingers tightened around my chopsticks without my meaning them to.
When I'd helped Chester submit his materials, I'd learned he had taken the English proficiency test in the same round as the rest of us.
Back then, there was an essay I couldn't quite make sense of, and I'd wanted Margot to walk me through it.
Without a flicker, she'd turned her phone face down, her expression cold. "Sebastian, if you don't have what it takes, then don't go abroad."
"You may be the Matthews family's little prince, but no one's obligated to be the knight who saves you. You can't always count on leaning on other people."
So it turned out she'd been helping Chester prepare since that far back.
And she'd still faked the whole thing, pretending to have him sit the SATs and fill out college applications just to keep me from noticing. That wish card was simply the opening she'd chosen.
Margot shot me an uneasy glance and prompted him. "Chester, Sebastian put in a lot of effort for you too. Thank him."
Chester's expression shifted, then he laughed. "You're right. Sebastian, thank you for being so generous and kind."
"All right, everyone, drink the pigeon soup while it's hot. Sebastian, to thank you, I had my mom set aside the plumpest pigeon just for you. It's very nourishing."
The others picked up their chopsticks one after another, praising how fresh and delicious the soup was, over and over.
My stomach was cold and aching.
I didn't think twice, lifted the bowl, and took a sip.
But all that filled my mouth was a sickening, greasy tang, laced with the taste of dish soap.
I spat it straight out.
"Seb, what's wrong?" my deskmate asked, concerned.
I frowned and answered honestly. "There's dish soap in the soup. It's like the water you rinse a pan with..."
Everyone traded glances. "Huh? No way. How come none of us tasted anything?"
My deskmate went to check, but Chester snatched the bowl away and smashed it on the floor.
His eyes rimmed red, wounded beyond words.
"Sebastian, I know a young master like you has a precious stomach and looks down on a little place like ours."
"But this soup is my mom's heart, simmered all afternoon. You don't have to like it, but do you have to slander it? Our family still has to keep this business running..."
I tried to explain. "I didn't..."
"Enough!"
Margot looked at me, disappointed.
"I was wrong. I should've seen it coming the second you faked a stomachache and didn't want to come."
"If you want a fancy meal, go crawl off to some five-star hotel yourself. Don't put on your precious little act here and trample on other people's kindness."
Except for my deskmate, everyone was watching me with complicated expressions.
Their faces said it all: too far, how could she do that, and why isn't he getting lost already.
My cheeks burned. I stood there humiliated, at a loss, then turned and rushed out.
I ran a long way before the tears I'd held back so long finally fell in big, heavy drops.
Butler Lawrence, the family's steward, called.
"Young master, are you transferring your and Margot's tuition tomorrow?"
Before I could answer, Chester posted a new update.
"Hehe, who knew the goddess wasn't just a great student but this caring too."
In the picture, his index finger had a small cut from a shard of the broken bowl.
Margot had her head bent, carefully sticking a bandage over it for him.
She'd replied underneath: 【That's because you're clumsy.】
Chester: 【Yes, yes, yes. Then I'll have to trouble the goddess to keep taking such close care of me from now on~】
Margot sent back an "okay" hand sign.
It felt like a power drill was churning through the flesh in my stomach, the pain so bad I couldn't straighten up.
I wiped my eyes and replied to Patrick Lawrence.
"Go ahead and transfer it. But only mine."
Since Margot wanted so badly to take close care of Chester, and thought so little of what I had.
Then abroad, I'd go alone.
第4章
4: 4
My birthday party was only a few days away, but Mom and Dad were still in England negotiating a project and probably wouldn't make it back.
So they'd booked me a five-star hotel ahead of time and told me to invite my friends and classmates to celebrate.
When they heard I planned to fly out right after my birthday to get a head start on adjusting to life abroad, Mom was thrilled. She said this way she could throw me one more party to make up for it.
I didn't tell them about Margot. I didn't want them to worry, or let it get in the way of their work.
But on the day itself, the moment I reached the doorway of the second-floor banquet hall,
I saw that my welcome poster had been swapped out for a glossy portrait of Chester.
Above it, in bold, curling script, it read: Chester's College Send-Off.
The hall was packed with his relatives and his little clique from class.
And the friends and close classmates I'd invited were all crowded uncertainly at the door.
There wasn't even anywhere for them to sit.
I found the manager I knew and asked, "Who gave you permission to change the theme?"
He blinked, startled. "You didn't know?"
"Your Miss Henson called last night and said you'd agreed to it. I figured the two of you were so close, I didn't want to disturb your rest…"
Because of my standing, they gave Margot the benefit of the doubt too.
I frowned. "Clear the room right now and change the theme back."
"Wait!"
Margot appeared with Chester and pulled me aside.
"Sebastian, don't make a scene. I'll explain everything when we get home. Chester saved you a seat, go sit down."
That was almost funny. They'd hijacked my venue and my banquet, and I was the one told not to make a scene?
"Margot, my family paid for all of this. What gives you the right to turn my birthday party into his send-off?"
Chester took my hand, feigning apology.
"Sebastian, don't blame her. My relatives heard I was going abroad to study and they all wanted to come celebrate, but business at the restaurant was bad last month and my mom couldn't afford to host this many people…"
"If we threw something too shabby, people would laugh at us. That's the only reason Margot wanted to help. We're classmates, and you've got money to spare. You wouldn't nickel-and-dime over this, right?"
It wasn't "goddess" anymore. Now it was "Margot."
I gave a cold laugh and pulled my hand free.
"So because I have money, I deserve to be the sucker? If you can't afford it, don't host it. What kind of thing is guilt-tripping someone else into paying? Are you a beggar?"
Chester's face went white in an instant, his eyes brimming with tears.
Seeing it, Margot shoved me hard.
"Sebastian, you've gone too far!"
The push sent me stumbling backward, and right behind me was the steep staircase.
If the deskmate hadn't been worried enough to follow me and caught me in time, I'd already have tumbled down and split my head open.
Margot was frightened too. A flash of panic crossed her eyes.
Then it hardened back into indifference.
"Your whole life, how many parties have your parents thrown for you? You really can't do without this one?"
"That day you smeared Chester's family's food and made him cry, you owed him an apology anyway. Call this making up for it."
"The guests are already seated. Changing the theme now won't do anything. Either you stay and eat, or you leave. Don't cause trouble on someone's big day!"
I looked at her face, so familiar and so strange.
Like I was meeting her for the first time.
"Margot, you're really set on doing this?"
She pressed her lips together and coaxed, "Sebastian, I'm begging you this once. Just give him this party, and I'll wear the couple's necklace with you and make us official."
Hah. She still thought she could use that to keep me in line.
But I didn't care anymore.
I nodded. "Fine. Enjoy your meal, everyone. We'll be heading out."
I booked another hotel and treated everyone to dinner.
The deskmate cursed, still bitter about it. "Shameless, all of them. Those decorations, the cake, the champagne, the dishes, one look and you can tell it's expensive. That's got to cost a lot of money."
"Seb, are you really letting them off that cheap?"
I laughed and popped a piece of steak into his mouth. "Yeah, it costs a lot. But they didn't necessarily come out ahead."
In the days that followed, Margot went off traveling to nearby cities with Chester again, calling it one last splurge before going abroad.
While I boarded my flight out of the country alone.
A week later, Margot and Chester were on their way back.
As if she'd finally remembered me, she sent a message.
*I got you a birthday present. I've been thinking, why don't we leave two weeks early? Chester needs time to adjust to life overseas.*
*He's worried he won't get along with a roommate. I remember you have an apartment out there. Let's just stay there for now, it's not far from school either.*
She waited a long time and got no reply.
Margot was getting a little angry.
*Still sulking after all these days?*
*Sebastian, if you're going to keep throwing your spoiled rich-boy tantrum, I'll have to rethink whether I go abroad with you at all.*
Three seconds later, both her phone and Chester's went off at the same time.
Margot felt a little smug.
Just as she'd figured, I was still the same Sebastian who backed down and apologized first whenever she was angry, terrified she'd stop speaking to me.
But when she opened her phone, she froze.
Because it wasn't a reply from me. It was an email in English.
From the university he'd been about to attend:
*As you did not complete tuition payment within the required deadline, your admission has been voided. Please be advised.*