My Neighbor Demanded a Job at Midnight

The only reason I was being so patient. The only reason I kept swallowing my temper and explaining instead of snapping, was not that I had some saintly disposition. It was that I'd heard plenty about what May Acevedo was capable of. A few days after she'd moved in. Some of her laundry had blown down onto my balcony, and since I wasn't home at the time, she added me on iMessage through the neighborhood group chat. That was the moment I realized the unit upstairs came with a nightmare attached. May's profile picture was the classic cartoon mom-dad-and-kid set. There was this one time when a neighbor simply suggested in the group chat that she stop posting such disgusting photos. May tracked the woman down and dumped a trash bag full of feces right over her head. The police got involved, and May was given a warning and held in custody for two days, but she didn't take it as a consequence at all. If anything, she came out treating her stint behind bars like a badge of honor, like it made her some hardened street veteran, and she acted with even less restraint after that. The pictures of excrement on her feed only multiplied. Not just that, she was forever posting about how stay-at-home moms were the saviors of the entire world, how the government ought to dock the wages of single people and child-free couples, seize their assets, and hand it all out as a salary to women like her. Or she'd be gushing about how outstanding her husband was, how many women threw themselves at him. There was this one time. A young woman had only stopped her husband to ask for directions. May chased her all the way home and screamed abuse at her for nearly a month straight, until the poor girl finally moved out. Only then did the whole thing end. Thinking about all this. My tone grew even more weary, but I genuinely didn't want a fight. Just like May said, I'd bought my place at the top of the market, and I wasn't about to sell at a loss over a single neighbor. Still, I knew there was no reasoning with a person like this. If I told her she was asking for too much, she'd just assume I was haggling, so I simply kept shaking my head. "I'm not looking down on stay-at-home moms, and I'm certainly not lying to you." "Ms. Acevedo, since you've looked into my company, you should know that aside from the sales reps who are out chasing leads all day, every job we have is physical labor." "You can't work overtime, you need your weekends and holidays off, so sales is out of the question." "As for the manual work, you're hauling thousands of pounds of freight at a moment's notice. You're pregnant. No matter how tough you are, your body couldn't handle it, so..." Everything I said was the simple truth. But before I could even finish, May cut me off. "I know all that!" "None of it matters, though. You're the boss. You can absolutely just create a position for me." "Like, make me a receptionist, put me in charge of signing for packages, ordering water, tracking attendance, all that. I can do every bit of it." "Or I could be your accountant. Sure, I don't have much education, but cutting paychecks and moving money around? I can definitely manage that. I'm a fast learner, I'll pick it up in no time!" "It's all over the internet, stay-at-home moms are all-around warriors. You hire me, and you will not regret it!" I rolled my eyes on the inside. I was completely out of words, and as the hour stretched later and later, I had no choice but to harden my expression. "It's very late, I've said everything I have to say, and I'm going to bed now. Please leave." With that. I didn't give May a chance to respond. I just shut the door in her face. But May still refused to go. Not only did she stay put, she pulled out a rolling pin and started pounding on the door. "Marianne Edwards, don't you dare play dead in there!" "If you won't open up, I'll keep knocking. I slept all day, so I've got all the energy in the world tonight. I can keep this up until sunrise!" "You've got all that money, and you won't lift a finger to help a poor, helpless, hardworking mom like me. You are nothing but rich and rotten to the core!"

“Everyone, come see this! I humbled myself, I begged her, just for a chance to put food on the table, and she humiliates me like this. Who on earth treats people this way!” “They say a good neighbor beats a distant relative. With a neighbor like her living among us, how are any of us ever going to have any peace!” May Acevedo's screeching had the whole building out in the hallway in no time. Of course they all knew exactly how this had started and how it had ended, but they also knew which side was the easier mark, so one by one they started posting in the group chat to smooth things over. 【Oh come on, you're a business owner. What's the harm in giving someone a job?】 【Let's all talk it out nicely. It's the middle of the night, stop fighting. Can't you each give a little?】 【Exactly. Women are naturally more detail-oriented than men. Your company's full of men anyway, wouldn't hiring a few women be a good thing?】 I just found it laughable. Every last one of them, acting like they'd come down with amnesia. So I went ahead and reposted May's list of demands a few more times. “Whoever's so high-minded, go ahead and hire her yourself. I'm not the only one in this complex who owns a company!” I tagged a few of the other business owners. Not one of them dared to say a word. And I couldn't be bothered to argue any further. I just posted a section of the noise ordinance. “May Acevedo, in ten minutes I'm calling the police. If you'd like to spend a few more nights in a cell, then by all means, keep it up.” May wasn't the least bit afraid of me calling the cops, of course. After all, she was pregnant now, and even the good Lord himself couldn't touch her. Still, after she'd kept up the dry wailing for a good long while, I suggested she give a little more thought to the baby in her belly, and she finally went back inside. Over the next few days, May and I crossed paths in the elevator a handful of times. Every time, she chose to act like I wasn't there. I thought that was the end of it, too. But a week later, in the dead of night, the second I got home, the sound of a basketball thudding against the floor started up overhead. I knew this was May getting back at me on purpose. I pulled up the group chat right away, and it was dead quiet, every one of them acting like they'd gone deaf. “It's one in the morning. Don't you think it's time to put the basketball away?” But my message went out, and not a soul answered. If anything, the basketball overhead got louder. I contacted building management, but the property manager came up and just shook his head. “There's nothing we can do, ma'am. You say it's noisy, but we asked the other residents, and they all say they don't hear a thing.” “And the moment we showed up, it went quiet. There's nothing we can do about that!” “They're doing it on purpose. I'm telling you, the second you call the cops, she'll go quiet. The police can't exactly move into your apartment to handle the noise for you.” The truth was, I wasn't surprised. The other residents hadn't gone deaf. They just figured May targeting me was a far better deal than her targeting them. Either way, the only one who'd suffer would be me. The standoff dragged on for several days. I bought earplugs, moved into the spare bedroom, and still I was nearly worn down to the edge of a nervous breakdown. There was no other choice. I had to go upstairs and knock. The sight of me at her door. May was thoroughly pleased with herself. She didn't bother with any pleasantries. “One sentence: either you give me a job, or life goes on just like this!” “Not many people in this complex dare to cross me, anyway!” May's husband, Kerry Lyons, let out a few smug little chuckles. “That's right. Grudges are better undone than tied up tighter.” “We live right above you. And you're single. There's plenty you'll need our help with down the road!” “Since there's no opening at your company, then just let my wife be your housekeeper. She's a stay-at-home mom to begin with, so looking after you would be a piece of cake for her, wouldn't it?” When I heard Kerry say housekeeper.

May wasn't having it. "What do you mean, nanny?" "I'm going to be a city woman, a professional. I'm not playing some maid who waits on people hand and foot!" "The only reason I want to go out and get a job is because I've spent so long waiting on all of you!" Kerry shot her a look. "Shut up!" "What's so bad about being a nanny?" "You go out to work, who cooks the meals around here? Who sweeps the floors? Who watches the kid?" "You work as a nanny downstairs, and you can still take care of things at home. It's the best arrangement there is." May shrank back a little, almost cowed. But the moment she turned to look at me, her whole expression changed. "Fine. I can be a nanny." "But besides what I already said in the group chat, I have a few other conditions!" "Our place is only a third the size of yours, so if you want me to be your nanny, then my husband, my son, and I all have to move into your apartment!" "That way we can rent our place out, and we'll have rent money coming in too!" "And if you let us move in, I'll take less in wages. Not twenty thousand a month, just eighteen thousand will do." The more May talked, the more brilliant she thought she was. She even had the gall to demand my master bedroom, her reasoning being that a south-facing room would help her rest better, so she could take proper care of me. Honestly, I'd come thinking that if I could reason with them, I'd still rather keep the peace. I really did like living in that apartment. But seeing the state of these two, I nearly laughed out of pure fury. My voice climbed a good deal louder. "Out of the question." "I don't need royalty like you for a nanny. I came here to ask you one thing, are you going to keep it down or not?" "I suggest you think it through before you answer, because this is the last chance I'm giving you." The words had barely left my mouth. And the call from building management came through. "Ms. Edwards, where are you right now? Quite a few neighbors have called in to complain that you're making noise in the hallway in the middle of the night." I was livid. "When May had her son jumping rope and bouncing a basketball, how come you never listened to my complaints?" "I say one sentence in the hallway, and suddenly there's a complaint?" The man on the line sighed, insisting over and over that he really had received complaints. I didn't answer. I just hung up. May had heard the voice on the other end too. Seeing the confusion on my face. She gave a smug little smile. "Let me be straight with you." "I'm not stingy like you. I've already told the neighbors that if you give me a job and I'm earning money, I'll cut every one of them a little something every month!" "So if you actually want to go on living comfortably in this complex, your only option is to agree to give me a job." "Otherwise..." "You can just sit back and watch that apartment of yours become worthless!" With that. May shut the door in my face. I stood there in the hallway, my phone buzzing without a break. Building management telling me to keep it down. Other owners adding me on WhatsApp, calling me, telling me not to lose my mind in the dead of night. So this was what people meant by a disaster you never saw coming. But I hadn't come this time to compromise on anything. I'd come to give May one last chance, and since she didn't want it, there was no reason for me to hesitate. I didn't knock again. I picked up my phone and made a call, then grabbed my suitcase and left. As I drove off, I saw that May had posted the photo she'd secretly taken of me in the group chat, as if mocking my helplessness and showing off her own little scheme. That good mood didn't even last a week. A week later. The group chat blew up. And the calls from building management came one after another. "Ms. Edwards, please come back right away." "We all understand what you've been through, and May's willing to work things out. Just come back first."