He Hated Me Until He Learned I Was Dead

“Then tell her to come out of here and face me! I want to ask her how she dares to look at me! Every one of my son’s fingers is frozen and swollen. Does she even deserve to be a mom?” “Corinne isn’t ignoring him, it’s just that she already—” Before she could finish speaking, Leander had already lifted Cassian up and walked away in long, fast steps. “It’s just that she’s already gone…” Aunt Florence watched his leaving figure and let out a deep sigh. “Corinne, Aunt can only help you this far. Maybe this really is destiny…” Her eyes slowly turned red, and tears fell without stopping, one drop after another. I panicked and wanted to wipe her tears away. My fingers passed straight through her face, leaving behind only a bitter smile. How could I forget again? I’m already gone. I know I have no right to blame her. Being able to help raise Cassian for eight years, she had already done all she could. Maybe Florence was right. This was fate. Cassian lost me, and now being taken away by Leander might not be a bad thing. At least, he wouldn’t suffer like this anymore. It was just that the person inside Leander’s home… Leander took Cassian into the car. The warm air inside, compared to the freezing outside, felt like a totally different space. Cassian looked around at everything with interest. Since the day he was born, he had never known what the inside of a car was like. I felt ashamed and full of regret, for the first time thinking that I should not have fought to keep Cassian with me. I had been too selfish. Leander sat behind the driver’s seat and lifted his hand to pull a cigarette from his pocket. He brought it near his lips but didn’t smoke. He only held it close, breathed in the smell, and then put it back into the box. I couldn’t stop myself from feeling a bit surprised When I was expecting a baby, I had argued endlessly about his giving up smoking, yet no matter what I said, he wouldn't agree. Now eight years had gone by, and he had changed a lot. Sure enough, only real love could make someone let go of their rules. The car went straight into the residential complex. The villa was brightly lit. As soon as they entered, Georgina Sutherland, dressed in a nightgown, happily stepped forward to welcome them. “Husband, you’re back! Hazel is just saying Dad must still be busy at work tonight.” The moment I heard the name Hazel, my heart turned painfully tight. That had been the name we picked together for our second child before the divorce. One Cassian, one Hazel, meant to show that our family would never fall apart. Now that name had been given to his child with Georgina. The girl who once looked plain had already been raised by him into someone calm and well-mannered, so much so that I almost failed to recognize her. But when her eyes fell on Cassian, her smile stopped in place. “This is…?” “Husband, whose kid did you bring back?” Seeing Cassian’s brows and eyes that looked like mine, nearly eighty percent, Georgina clearly felt uneasy. “Could it be Sister Corinne’s…?” “Yes.” “I happened to meet him while shopping for food. The kid was wearing clothes that were far too light, and in a burst of anger, I brought him back. Please don’t be upset.” Jealousy showed on Georgina’s face. When she lifted her head again, she had already returned to her usual soft expression. “How could that be? Just listen to what you are saying. Your son is my son as well.” “It’s only that back then, Sister Corinne fought hard to take the boy away. You brought him back this time without telling her first. I’m worried she’ll make trouble withvyou…” When my name came up, Leander instantly grew angry. “Make trouble? She’d need to have the nerve for it!” “Look at what she turned Cassian into! If I hadn’t taken him back, I think he wouldn’t even make it through this winter!” Cassian broke free from behind him and rushed forward. “My mom isn’t like that! You’re not allowed to say things about her!” My eyes burned hot. Before the words fully came out, Cassian suddenly lost balance and fell to the side. I wanted with everything I had to shield my child, but my hand slipped straight through him. Leander pulled Cassian close into his arms and reached out to feel his forehead.

“This isn’t good. Cassian has a fever. You all go ahead and eat, don’t wait on me. I’ll bring the kid to the clinic and get him checked.” He stood up and prepared to leave, making sure to grab another thick coat to wrap around Cassian. Georgina stopped him. “There’s no need to rush around like that. We have children’s fever medicine at home. Hazel used it before; it worked quite well.” “Thank you, you really pay attention. Otherwise, I honestly wouldn’t know what to handle first.” Georgina spoke with her teeth nearly clenched together. “That’s only natural. After all, we’re family.” “It’s just that if Sister Corinne finds out the child is gone—” “Don’t bring her up to me. Corinne would be better off dying outside. If not, I’m not finished with her!” I understood that Georgina kept mentioning me not because she wished to keep Cassian, but because she wanted to ruin my image even more in Leander’s mind. But this time, she was thinking too much. In my current state, I couldn’t do anything at all. After Cassian took the medicine, his fever dropped not long after. I drifted near the head of the bed, not daring to look away for even a second. Guilt and shame fully washed over me. Before I could calm down, the bedroom door suddenly swung inward. Right in front of me was a face that looked very similar to Leander's. Hazel, dressed in a pink princess outfit, skipped straight to the bed. At that moment, Cassian slowly opened his eyes. Before he managed to speak, the young girl lifted her hand and struck Cassian across the cheek. “So you’re the bastard Dad had outside? You smell awful. How long has it been since you washed? Who allowed you to sleep in my room!” She seized a slipper and hit Cassian’s back with all her strength. “Get out! You ugly, weirdo, get out!” Cassian was so weak that his voice barely came out. “I am not a bastard…” “Dad said I am his son. Aunt said nobody was staying in this room…” The little girl planted her hands on her waist and stared down at him. “Who said nobody is using it? I kept this room for my dolls!” Hazel pulled back the blanket. On the other pillow lay a small doll, neat and still. Cassian’s eyes quickly filled with tears. “I’m sorry. I won’t stay here anymore. I will leave right away.” As he tried hard to push himself upright, the girl shoved him with force. In that instant, he tipped forward and slammed down onto the ground. Cassian didn’t sob when he fell. He didn’t sob when he was labeled a bastard. But when he noticed the necklace on his chest was missing, he fully collapsed, his eyes turning wet and red. “Where is my necklace? Return it to me!” Hazel waved the chain in her fingers and flung it straight through the window. “What garbage. I don’t want it at all! If you want it, crawl outside and get it!” “Your mother is a whore, and you’re a bastard born from a whore. Your whole family is shameless! Go die!” Cassian could bear every kind of unfair treatment, except words that insulted his mother. And inside that thrown-away necklace rested my ashes. He suddenly felt stronger. He pushed Hazel down and slapped her. I rushed ahead, crying out in panic. “Cassian, do not hit her! If you do, you’ll be thrown out, and you will never have a home again!” “Mom is okay. Mom is already dead. It doesn’t matter anymore!” Yet he couldn’t hear my voice. His small face already showed wild anger. When the slap landed, the bedroom doorway swung open. Leander saw the scene ahead, grew very angry, ran forward, and kicked his son aside. “What are you doing! Hazel is your sister, who allowed you to hurt her!” “Is this how Corinne usually teaches you?!” Cassian had already grown weak from the cold air. Now his back hit hard against the wall, and pain bent his tiny face at once. “Mom never taught me that! She hit first! She grabbed my mom’s keepsake!”

The young boy still didn’t understand what ashes meant. Aunt Florenece had only explained that this was the single item I had left behind. Leander suddenly laughed in anger. “A keepsake? She is still breathing, and you already call her belongings keepsakes? Does Corinne even realize she deserves death?” “If the example is wrong, everything below it goes wrong. No wonder you became nothing.” Hazel’s eyes shifted around. She covered her cheek and cried even louder. “Dad, will my face be ruined? It hurts so badly…” The moment Leander heard this, he hurried downstairs. When he returned, a necklace was already in his palm. “So this is what all this mess is about?” “Then I’ll say it plainly, my home allows nothing linked to Corinne to stay here!” Cassian yelled, “No!” However, it was too late. He slammed the necklace hard into the wall. The charm broke at once, and the powder inside spread all over. “That was my mom… she is already gone. Why, why do you still have to take away the final thing she left for me!” “I don’t want a father anymore. I hate Dad!” Leander froze on the spotl, his face turning white. At that time, Georgina walked inside and happened to hear the last words. “Cassian, how can you say that about your own mom?” “She didn’t take good care of you, we won’t hold that against her, but you can’t make things up and say she’s gone. Aren’t you doing that on purpose to upset Dad?” Just a moment earlier, Leander had been full of sadness. Now, feeling fooled, his anger burst out. Like a madman, he smashed everything in the room. “Why doesn’t someone like Corinne just die already!” “She could even think up a joke like this and teach the child to lie to me. How did I ever lose my mind and fall for her back then!” “Eight years ago, she fooled me once; that wasn’t enough, and now she wants to fool me again. She’s beyond help!” The air suddenly felt heavy. Beyond the window, thick snow dropped in spinning waves. Inside the space, the silence was so deep it felt like even breathing made noise. I shut my eyes in hopeless pain. Eight years had gone by, yet Leander still hated me. When I first became pregnant with Cassian, we hadn’t even completed our honeymoon. Like every couple deeply in love, we wanted to walk side by side and see every place on the map together. At that time, Leander cared for me with his whole heart. If I pointed east, he would never turn west. If I mentioned Milan, he would cancel the Paris flight immediately. One month after the wedding, the first words he spoke each morning after waking were gentle love words meant only for me. I would laugh and tease him, asking how long he planned to keep saying things like that. And he would always softly kiss me, saying he would keep saying them for his whole life. At the moment when our love felt strongest, we found out I was pregnant using a test strip. I didn’t want to give up the honeymoon journey. He told me that after the baby arrived, he would bring the child along with us everywhere. At that time, nobody thought that this would be the last gentle time we would ever share. Just like that, we went back to the country and visited the biggest hospital in the city for a pregnancy check. While signing in, we unexpectedly met Georgina. Only then did I realize that the college girl I had supported for three years had already become a nurse. I smiled and asked how she was doing, asking if she had run into any problems at work. Maybe happiness had clouded my mind; I didn’t notice the quiet admiration in the way she looked at Leander. I went inside for the checkup, while she and Leander waited outside. Using the reason that she worked as a nurse and wanted to return my kindness, she added Leander’s contact number. She told him he could reach out anytime if he had questions. At the start, their conversation was only about him learning pregnancy and health information. But as time went on, the tone of their messages slowly shifted. They began to talk often about everyday things. Whenever Georgina stayed late at work or met difficult patients, she would vent to him about it.

Leander slowly stopped asking questions that were about me. He started paying attention to her days instead, even taking the lead to joke that he should buy milk tea for the “angel in white” to make up for those careless patients. By the time I sensed something was wrong, Leander was standing on the balcony smoking. My stomach was hit by strong waves of pain. Clenching my teeth, I put out his cigarette. I asked him if he could stop smoking for the baby’s well-being, for me. That was the first moment he showed annoyance toward me. He said I was interfering. Those five easy words crushed all my pride. Like a madwoman, I smashed his phone. The screen broke, frozen on the last message Georgina had sent. [A new movie just came out. Want to watch it with a nurse in white? I’ve gotten better at giving shots, this time I surely won’t make you cry!] With burning eyes, I yelled and questioned him. “If Georgina were the one asking you to stop smoking, would you agree?” “If the one carrying the baby were Georgina and not me, would you have quit long ago?” His eyes turned red instantly. With the same strength, he smashed other items around the house. “Unreasonable. You’re just crazy!” “I contacted Georgina only to look after your condition!” “I already said all that should be said. Think whatever you like!” That night, Leander didn’t return home. I went to the hospital to search for him. The nurses said Georgina, who was on shift, didn't show up either. Using the excuse that I was Georgina’s older sister, I asked for her home address. When I knocked on the door, Leander, naked except for a bath towel, opened it for me. The bright red lipstick marks on his neck became the final snowflake that crushed me. Outside, the temperature was ten degrees below zero. I wore a thin maternity dress, yet it felt as if I couldn’t sense the cold at all. In the hallway, I screamed and vented, yelling like someone who had lost reason. I lifted my hands, dry and cracked from the cold, and slapped him again and again. By the end, my palms were covered with blood, and so was his face too. No one could tell whose blood it was. Such a shameful moment only got a light, careless line from him. “Are you finished causing trouble?” “If you’re done, go back home.” “The baby is still young. You can’t be this emotional.” How laughable. The person who pushed me into madness said I was unstable. The man who cheated while I was pregnant blamed me for not thinking about the child. I had thought about leaving him, but I could not force myself to do it. I loved him. I had loved him for a very, very long time. I believed that once the baby was born, we could go back to how we used to be. But bad things always come first. Eight months later, I coughed up blood. After examination at the hospital, they told me I had lung cancer, already in the middle to late stage. If I kept the baby, my life couldn’t be saved. In panic, I called Leander, not knowing what else to do. But on the other side, after he heard the test result, he only replied, “Are you finished pretending?” “For half a year already, I have been staying at home. What more do you want?” “Georgina told me she saw you at the hospital; every pregnancy check you had was fine.” “Corinne, I don’t want to completely fall out with you. I will say this one last time: what I have with Georgina will only continue until the baby arrives. Don’t push me to break my word.” Before I could answer, he coldly ended the call. Georgina sent me a picture of the two of them lying naked together in bed. Along with one line, “He said the person he loves is me. With you, it is only duty. Sister, are you truly willing to spend your entire life with a man who doesn’t love you?” Willing? Of course, I wasn’t willing. So I decided to keep the baby. I even foolishly believed that since we once loved each other, we might fall in love again someday.

As for my illness, as long as I was strong enough, I could surely survive it. But the truth showed me that I couldn’t. While lying on the surgery bed, emergency notices were handed out three separate times. The doctor couldn’t locate the baby’s father. I dragged myself up from the ward bed and signed the papers on my own. After being discharged, I neither sobbed nor caused trouble. I searched for an attorney and submitted divorce papers. I walked with nothing. My single request was to keep my son. I succeeded since Georgina persuaded him. But I was still the loser. On the day I left home, Leander said, “So hardheaded. If you really have courage, go die somewhere else and never come back to me! A woman full of lies, let’s see who would ever want you!” “Corinne, you’re meant to be alone for the rest of your days!” I didn’t talk back because his words were true. After that, I took my boy and faced hardship at every turn. Doing three temporary jobs each day, I eventually spat blood and fell at my stall from pure exhaustion. Aunt Florence brought me to the hospital. The doctor explained that it had gone on far too long, and the cancer cells had already moved through my whole body. I didn’t have many days remaining. I understood Aunt Florence was kind. Although she wasn’t comfortable either, I still placed Cassian in her care. Worried about passing away outside and needing money to move my body, which I didn’t possess, I stayed by the doorway of the cremation building each day. Almost every family member who had died and walked past would ask who I was waiting for. I answered honestly and said I was waiting to pass away. They would scold me and call me crazy. Aunt Florence couldn’t stand it and came to visit me once, holding Cassian. I said, “After I die, keep a small part of my remains and make a pendant for Cassian. I want to stay beside my boy and watch him grow.” “As for the rest, just spread them anywhere. As long as it costs nothing, that is fine.” At that moment, I had already thinned down to skin and bone. Maybe Heaven felt sorry for me. After I spoke those lines, my breathing quietly stopped. My thoughts were dragged back by my boy’s painful scream. Cassian was hit by the edge of a photo frame by mistake, and blood quickly poured from his forehead. “Mom isn’t like that, she didn’t lie, she did not—” Before he could finish, Cassian passed out. Leander quickly lifted his son and rushed toward the hospital. I saw everything unfold, my heart hurting beyond measure, yet I was powerless. At the hospital, the checking physician asked for the child’s name. “Cassian, Cassian named after Hazel!” The physician froze and suddenly looked up. It turned out to be the department director who had helped deliver my baby years ago. “The child’s mom is Corinne Lockwood?” Leander looked confused, clearly annoyed by me. “What does that have to do with his mom? Just treat my son’s illness.” As soon as those words ended, the other person’s manner shifted right away, his face growing unpleasant. “So it is you!” “When your wife gave birth while suffering from late lung cancer, you were nowhere around. Now the child is hurt like this, don’t tell me you beat him?” “In all my years of work, I have never met a husband like you! You should be careful, she may crawl up from the dirt to take your life!” Leander suddenly stood up, his face turning pale. “What did you just say? Late-stage lung cancer?”