I Walked Away When You Finally Looked Back

Spencer's POV My voice was calm—far too calm compared to the way I’d lost control just a week ago. I watched Dahlia’s expression shift, and before she could speak, I reminded her, “Last week, I asked you something, didn’t I?” “Dahlia,” I said, serious, trying to jog her memory, “didn’t I tell you that the moment you walked out that door, we were done?” I took a step toward her. I saw guilt flicker in her eyes, but I went on, “And what was it you said back then? You said, ‘Break up? Sure. Fine. Let’s break up. Whoever takes it back is an asshole.’ Dahl—” Before I could finish, she cut me off by kicking one of the boxes hard as frustration surged through her. The dull thud echoed through the room. Gideon jumped and screamed, “Spencer! What’s your problem?!” Gone was the gentle tone he’d used earlier. His voice sharpened instantly. “Do you even know? This whole week, Dahlia kept telling me how good your temper is, how kind you are. She even said that if you two got back together, she’d marry you! She said she wanted to give you a stable future. She even asked us what she should do to make you happier! How can you treat her like this?!” His eyes were red with anger, as if he were the one who’d been wronged. “Dahlia’s been planning your future together. And what does she get in return? A breakup text and all her things thrown to the door like you’re tossing her out? Spencer, don’t be so selfish!” As he ranted, I watched Dahlia. Her earlier anger softened, replaced with something almost tender as her gaze fell on Gideon, as if she was touched by his anger on her behalf. My stomach twisted painfully. She gently pinched his cheek and whispered, “I’m fine.” Then she turned back to me, hesitating for a long moment before speaking. “I wasn’t planning to tell you this,” she said, almost whispering. “I’ve actually been thinking about marrying you. Spencer, haven’t you always complained that I don’t care enough? That everyone around us is getting married, having kids, and you’re still waiting for me to settle down?” “Spencer.” She slipped her hand out of Gideon’s grip, reached into her pocket, and pulled out the watch I’d wanted for years. Then she stepped closer to me. “I can forgive your tantrum. I won’t hold it against you, even though you went too far this time. But you need to promise me, no more acting like this. If Gideon hadn’t been here today, we would’ve been fighting again. Don’t you think so?” “Spencer,” she said softly. She opened the box. The diamonds inside caught the light and sparkled. “I always remember what you like and what you don’t. So, can you stop being angry now?” She lifted the watch, ready to put it on my wrist. Behind her, I heard Gideon mutter in a mocking tone, “Only Dahlia would spoil someone like you. A spoiled man who doesn’t know how to behave, who else would tolerate that except her?” As she leaned closer, her scent brushed against my nose. And suddenly, I remembered our argument that night—how I’d demanded to know why she had to leave, why Gideon was always the one she chose over me. Why, in her heart, would I never compare myself to him? That night, she looked at me like I was crazy and snapped, “Spencer, what else do you want from me?! I spend half my time at home with you. Half my life is wasted on you, and you still think it’s not enough? All I wanted was to hang out with my friends for once. What did I do wrong?!” We fought brutally. And in the end, I said the words that broke everything.

Spencer's POV “I’m telling you, if you walk out that door, we’re done.” I watched Dahlia freeze in the doorway. Her tears kept falling, each drop trembling with a choked sob. “Dahlia,” I said quietly. “I’m your boyfriend, not someone you ‘waste time on.’ You can’t call spending time with me a burden. Why is it that with your friends, with Gideon, it’s always 'hang out'—playing together, eating together—yet when it comes to me, it all turns to 'spending time'?” Not satisfied yet, I kept going. “When you’re with Gideon, it’s called relaxing. Even when you’re exhausted, you’ll stay up to game with him, go camping with him, unwind with him. But the moment I ask you to talk when I can’t sleep, suddenly I’m the villain who won’t let you rest!” “A relationship is between two people, so why does it feel like you’re just doing me a favor?!” I lamented. I had completely unraveled that night—shaking, hysterical. And finally, I told her, “If you walk out that door, it’s over between us! As long as you go, we’re done!” I saw her look at me then, her expression complicated. After a moment of hesitation, she took a step toward me. My heart leapt. I thought maybe she finally heard me. Maybe she finally chose me over him. Perhaps the scales tipped in my favor. Then Gideon called. He asked if she’d left yet, if she was on her way. He even laughed and said, “Dahlia, everyone’s joking that you’re too scared to come because Spencer controls you. I defended you, you know? Told them you’d definitely come, that you’re not scared of your boyfriend. You won’t let me down, right?” And without hesitation, she stepped back. Before hanging up, she told him, “I’ll be there soon.” Then she gave me a cold look and walked toward the door. I called her name, but she didn’t even turn around. All she said was, “Break up? Sure. Fine. Let’s break up. Whoever takes it back is an asshole.” She then slammed the door so hard the walls shook. The whole apartment echoed with the smell of the dinner I’d cooked for her—mocking me, reminding me how pathetic my wishful thinking was. That night, I sat at the table staring at all of her favorite dishes. Then I watched Gideon’s updates on social media, one after another: videos of him and Dahlia shoulder to shoulder, singing duet love songs; drinking from linked glasses; and laughing as their friends cheered and pushed them into a hug. He posted as if he was streaming just for me, or as if he was flaunting something in my face, saying, “Spencer, what can you possibly compete with?” I forced myself to eat the food that tasted like cardboard, stuffing myself until my stomach felt like it would burst. Then I ran to the bathroom and threw up until the room spun. After crying myself hoarse, I ended up in the ER with gastritis and was put on IV fluids for three days. During those three days, I watched Gideon post even more: them going diving together, surfing together, hiking together, and even attending the live comedy show I’d always wanted to see but never got the chance to go to. In every post, the comments exploded with excitement, asking when Gideon would “officially take over,” when Dahlia would finally dump me. And Gideon would reply with stickers, one after another, [Just wait.] And in every post, Dahlia gave him a like. She saw everything. She wasn’t unaware; she was allowing it. She let Gideon step all over my pain, let him mock me, let the world laugh at my heartbreak. Because in her eyes, this was the price I deserved to pay for upsetting her.

Spencer's POV I understood Dahlia. Just like every other time we fought, I would always be the one begging her to forgive me. I’d lower my pride again and again, pleading just to stay together, because the thought of losing her used to drive me insane. I truly believed I’d keep repeating that cycle forever just like before. But when I got out of the hospital and saw her on Gideon’s social media, standing beside him, watching the sunrise, with a caption: [Some people will always shield you from the wind and rain.] Something inside me just let go. I suddenly didn’t care anymore about who she valued more—me or Gideon. I didn’t even care about her. I realized it had been a long time since I genuinely thought of her at all. And now, looking at them, Gideon still seething and Dahlia waiting for me to fold like I always did, the same scene replaying as it had so many times before. I took a step back and said, “I don’t need it anymore.” “Dahlia,” I said, watching her expression twist in shock. “I don’t need you to give me anything.” My voice stayed calm as I let out those words. It was as if I had finally seen my own heart clearly, as if I had really, truly moved on. “If you think I take up too much of your time, and I’m too hard to deal with, just like your friends said...” I turned toward Gideon’s jealous, hateful stare and smiled, “Then this spoiled, unreasonable guy won’t waste any more of your life.” I looked back at Dahlia and told her, “I already scheduled a moving company. Since you’re here, you can take all your things with you. From now on, let’s not contact each other.” I remembered wanting to delete her number right after the breakup, but I kept it because I needed to return her belongings. Now that she was here, it felt like the perfect moment to finally end everything. She stood frozen, staring at me in disbelief, desperately searching my eyes for something. But the affection and devotion she was used to finding were now gone. And because she couldn’t find it, fear crept into her expression. But before she could speak, Gideon blurted out, “Spencer, do you think saying all that will make Dahlia choose you? You think I don’t know—” “Shut up!” For the first time ever, Dahlia snapped at him right in front of me. She looked almost panicked as she glared at him. “This is between him and me. You don’t get to interfere.” “Spencer!” She turned back to me, her eyes suddenly red. “Are you still mad at me?” “Are you upset because I didn’t contact you these past few days?” Her voice trembled as fear kept rising inside her. She grew more frantic, her words stumbling out. “I was just angry because you always restrict me, but how could you kick me out? Didn’t we agree that no matter how badly we argued, no matter how cold things got, we’d never kick each other out? If it really reaches that point… Spencer…” We both knew the truth. If it reached that point, it meant one of us had already decided to give up. But before she could finish, a voice came from outside the door. “Excuse me? Who’s moving?”