I Had A Brain Hemorrhage And Still Have To Study

Ever since I was little, my dad taught me that no matter what happened, I should put my studies and exams as my top priority. When I was eight, I accidentally broke my leg during gym class, but my dad insisted that I finish that day’s class before taking me to get it treated. When the doctor said I was brought in too late and would have to be hospitalized, my dad looked troubled. “Third grade is a crucial transition period in elementary school. My child absolutely cannot waste any time right now!” So, I went to school in a wheelchair during the day and returned to my hospital room at night to finish my homework. When I was discharged, I was left with a lasting condition. Ever since then, I walked with a slight limp. When I was eleven, I ran a high fever of 102 degrees and started babbling incoherently. But my dad took forever to arrive. The teacher was so anxious that she took me to the hospital first, only to be berated by my dad when he finally showed up. “The transition from elementary to middle school is a critical moment for a child’s future. If my son, Teleus Costa, misses these three classes, just think how far behind the other kids he’ll fall!” Even though I had not fully recovered, my dad sent me back to school the very next day. From then on, I suffered from severe myocarditis. At seventeen, I developed a serious heart condition that put me at risk of sudden death at any moment. But my dad insisted I wait until after the SATs to seek treatment. “The SATs are the pivotal moment that determines your future. Missing even one class at such a time is tantamount to suicide!” One night during evening study hall, my heart seized up again, and I stumbled down the stairs. Lying in a pool of blood, I mustered my last ounce of strength to press the emergency contact button on my smartwatch to call for help. But on the other end, I heard my father’s voice. “There’s still one more session of evening study hall left. Can’t you just hang in there until it’s over?” ‘Dad, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I could make it,’ I thought. Chapter 1 “Mr. Costa, this is your third warning. Teleus Costa’s ventricular tachycardia is extremely severe. His myocardial ischemia has reached a critical level too. “If he doesn’t undergo surgery as soon as possible, he’s at risk of sudden cardiac death at any moment.” The head of the cardiology department pointed at the black-and-white electrocardiogram. Her brow furrowed and her tone was as stern as a court verdict. I sat on the hard bed in the examination room, feeling as if a boulder were pressing down on my chest. Every breath brought a dull, pulling pain. I looked at my dad, hoping he would pat me on the shoulder as any other father would do and tell me, “Don’t be afraid. Dad’s here. We’ll get through this.” My dad looked at the doctor. His eyes immediately welled up with tears, and his voice choked with emotion. “Doctor, I know it’s serious… I’m his father. How could I not be heartbroken? It breaks my heart to see my child suffering.” As he spoke, he gripped my shoulders tightly. His hands were large but trembling. “But doctor, you must also understand the struggle we parents are going through. Teleus is a senior this year, and there are less than 100 days left until the SATs. He’s always been a high achiever. “His grades have consistently ranked in the top ten of his grade. This is the most crucial step for him to change his destiny.” The female doctor sighed and slammed her pen down on the desk. “Mr. Costa, he’s on the brink of death. What’s the point of talking about destiny?” My father leaned forward urgently. His tone was almost pleading. In fact, it was even tinged with a hint of flattery. “That’s why I’d like to discuss this with you. Could we attempt conservative treatment first? Prescribe the best medication. “It doesn’t matter if it’s a bit more expensive, as long as we can stabilize his condition for these three months. As soon as the exam ends, we’ll have the surgery immediately, even if it’s that very night! “Doctor, I’m begging you. My son has studied hard for all those years. He can’t let it all come to nothing at the very last moment.” The doctor laughed in exasperation and turned to look at me. “Young man, you tell me. It’s your own body. Can you handle it?” I opened my mouth. My heart pounded frantically in my chest. The panic of impending death made my fingertips go numb. I wanted to say. “Doctor, I’m so exhausted. Every night, I can’t catch my breath. I’m afraid I’ll die in the exam room.” But before I could speak, my dad’s large hand patted me on the back. He looked at me. Beneath the sternness, his eyes were filled with tenderness and encouragement. “Teleus, I understand everything, I know how hard you’ve been working. But we’ve held on to this for so long, we’re just one final hurdle away. “If you’re hospitalized now, won’t all our previous efforts have been for nothing? You’re a man. You’re such a capable young man. “I believe you definitely don’t want to have any regrets, right? Let’s just grit our teeth and push through this a little longer, okay?” Chapter 2 As I stared into my dad’s eyes, filled with hope and love, I felt as if a wad of cotton was stuck in my throat. It was not that he did not love me. It was that he loved me too much. He had even quit his executive job to be there for me. Every day, he would cook up all sorts of nutritious meals for me. The words to refuse him lingered on the tip of my tongue. I finally obliged from habit. “Doctor…” I lowered my head, avoiding the doctor’s sympathetic gaze. My voice was hoarse. “Just… prescribe the medication for now. I’d like to wait until after my exams.” My dad let out a long sigh of relief. Tears welled up in his eyes. With a mix of relief and concern, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “I know you’re truly sensible and resilient, Teleus. Don’t worry. I’ll be by your side the whole time for these three months and never let you get tired. I’ll be your crutch and your strongest support.” The doctor shook her head helplessly and printed out the liability waiver. “Sign it. But let me be clear. If you experience fainting or severe pain, you must go to a hospital immediately. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” As we walked out of the exam room, my dad carefully supported me like he was holding a fragile, priceless treasure. “Teleus, when we get home tonight, I will make you some chicken soup to help you regain your strength. I'll remind you to take your medicine on time. Everything will be fine.” I looked at the few white hairs that had appeared at his temples at some point, and a wave of heartache washed over me. Ever since I was a child, my body seemed unable to keep up with my dad’s grand “life plan” for me. When I was eight, we were practicing the long jump in gym class. I had landed awkwardly and my leg snapped with a loud crack. When my dad rushed to the school, he frowned with concern. But when the PE teacher suggested taking me to the hospital, he glanced at his watch. With tears welling in his eyes, he pleaded, “Mr. Tucker, there are only two more classes before school lets out. Could you please find a chair for him to sit in so he can finish the class? “Third grade is a crucial time for building a foundation. I’m afraid if he misses even one class, he’ll fall behind. He would be anxious and worried too.” That afternoon, he stood watch outside the classroom window the whole time. Every time class ended, he would rush in to give me water and wipe my sweat while asking if it hurt. His eyes were full of concern. But he just would not take me with him, not even when the school bell rang. Because of the delay in treatment, my dislocated bone healed out of alignment and left me permanently maimed. When I was eleven, on the day before I went from elementary to middle school, I had a high fever of 102 degrees Fahrenheit and was rambling incoherently. My teacher was so worried she wanted to send me to the hospital, but my dad hoarsely explained our situation over the phone. “Miss, it’s not that I don’t care about my child. The transition to middle school is so crucial. It’s the start of his life! Teleus is a sensitive kid. “If he falls behind in class, he’ll suffer more than he does from being sick. Let him drink some warm water to work up a sweat. I’ll send over a fever-reducing patch right away. “Let him tough it out like a man.” That week, I attended classes with a high fever. In the end, I was admitted to a top-tier middle school, but I also developed severe myocarditis. By some miracle, I made it to seventeen. The myocarditis had progressed into a heart condition that could lead to sudden death at any moment. Would everything turn out alright? If I could just get through these next few dozen days, I would have the surgery, and everything would be fine. Unfortunately, neither my dad nor I realize that the world did not offer that many “woulds”. Chapter 3 After that day, I went back to school as usual. But my heart condition had not improved. One evening during self-study, as I looked at the densely packed geometric figures on my test paper, they began to spin and distort before my eyes. My vision went black for a moment. The pen in my hand clattered to the floor. I bent down to pick it up, only to find my fingers were so stiff they would not obey me. That suffocating, near-death sensation struck again. It was more intense than ever before. I decided to go downstairs to the snack shop to buy a pack of cookies and get some fresh air. As I reached the corner of the staircase, a sudden, excruciating griping pain seized my heart like nothing I had ever felt before. The pain was so intense. It felt as if a dull knife had been thrust deep into my chest and then twisted violently. I could not help but let out a short, muffled groan. The next second, my left knee buckled, I lost my balance, and I tumbled down the stairs. My forehead slammed hard against the sharp corner of the staircase. Warm liquid instantly streamed down, blurring my left eye. It was pure, excruciating pain. My whole body was in pain. But I could not focus on the physical pain. The cramping pain in my heart made it almost impossible to breathe. Screams rang out around me. “Ah! Someone fell!” “Oh my God, there’s so much blood!” “It’s Teleus! Quick, call a teacher!” The students’ cries of shock came and went. They sounded as if they were coming from underwater. I lay on the cold concrete floor, curled up into a ball. I wanted to scream for help, but all that came out of my throat was a broken, raspy sound. During such moments, people would instinctively think of the person they trusted the most. My blood-soaked hand was trembling as I mustered my last ounce of strength and pressed the emergency contact button on my smartwatch. The call connected. I heard my dad’s steady yet slightly surprised voice on the other end. The background was very quiet. It sounded like he was in a car. “Teleus? Why are you calling at this hour? You still have one more evening study session left. Are you trying to slack off?” The moment I heard my dad’s voice; tears mixed with blood streamed down my face. “Dad…” I struggled to open my mouth. My voice was as faint as a mosquito’s buzz, punctuated by gasps. “I had an episode and fell. I might have hit my head. Dad, I need to go to the hospital…” On the other end of the line, my dad let out an anxious cry. “You fell? How could you be so careless! Is it serious? Can you move? Teleus, listen to me. Don’t panic, take a deep breath. There are only forty minutes left until school lets out. “Have a classmate help you to the infirmary for now. Ask the doctor to bandage it up to stop the bleeding.” I stared at the ceiling in despair as my vision began to blur. “Dad… I can’t get up… I really can’t get up…” My dad’s voice grew even more urgent. It had an air of authority and sincerity that left me with no place to argue. “Oh no, what are we going to do…? This is a crucial time for catching up on what you’ve missed. If you leave now, you’ll derail it all. Do as I say. Go to the infirmary and rest for a bit. “Even if you just sit there and listen to the teacher, that’s fine! You’re a big boy. You can handle a little pain, right?” “Dad… I really…” “All right, Teleus, just hang in there for these last forty minutes, okay? I’m heading out right now to wait for you at the school gate with some warm soup. I’m hanging up now. Hurry up and go to class. “Beep—” The call ended. In that moment, I heard the sound of something inside me shatter completely. It was not my heart. It was something deeper than my heart. It was not that he did not love me. He just felt that my pain, my bleeding, and even my sense of impending death was all bearable in the face of the SATs. He thought he was encouraging me and helping me overcome my difficulties. But he did not know that his harsh encouragement had become the final straw that broke me. The chaotic footsteps of my classmates surged around me. Some were calling my name, others were crying. But to my ears, it all grew fainter and faded into the distance. All I could feel was the cold. A bone-chilling cold. Exhaustion washed over me like a tide. I was so tired. I just wanted to rest. The light before my eyes grew blurry, and I slowly closed my eyes.