Lonely In The World

Since I was young, my mother said I was a competitive child. Whatever my twin sister, Luna Bloom had, I would want to have one too. Even when Luna was having medicine, I would steal a sip as well. My mother always protected Luna as she felt sorry for her. “Petra, you’ve been competitive since you were in my womb. It’s because you took all the nutrients when you were a fetus that Luna is this weak today. Why are you still snatching things from her now?” I suppressed my tears and lifted my chin defiantly. It was because I knew that if I did not fight for what was mine, I would not get anything in the end. The sweets belonged to Luna, the hugs were given to Luna. My mother always smiled when she looked at Luna, and my father only praised Luna. I was like a rash pirate, snatching every piece of breadcrumbs that I could get my hands on. One day, I graduated and brought my boyfriend, Asher Scott, home to meet my parents. Luna fell in love with Asher at first sight. “Petra, I’ve always let you have your way since we were young. Can you let me have him just for this once?” I looked at my bloodied palms. Usually, I was stubborn, but I changed my attitude for that instance. “Sure.” After all, I was about to die. Why would I stop them from getting their happiness? Chapter 1 Luna Bloom excitedly grabbed my arm. “Really? Petra, did you really say yes?” She shook me back and forth forcefully. I could taste blood in my mouth. I forced myself to swallow the blood. My mother was shocked as she said in awe, “How strange, our little firecracker is not throwing a tantrum this time.” My mother hugged Luna and touched the beauty mark underneath her eye. She sized Luna up and nodded in satisfaction. Then, she peered at me. “At least you’re still self-aware. “Asher graduated from a top university. He’s an excellent, charming young man. He is a match-made in heaven with Luna. “Tell me, do you really think you deserve to be with Asher?” Luna tugged on my mother’s sleeve as she blushed. “Mom, don’t talk about Petra like that…” My mother finally stopped being mean. She then wrapped herself around my shoulder with a smile. She touched the tip of my nose. “Alright, I’m just joking. “You’re always carefree. I bet you won’t get angry over such trivial matters, right?” I leaned in my mother’s embrace and tried to greedily enjoy the little bit of warmth left. All my intimate moments with my mother were very short-lived. Actually, my mother was right. I would not be angry. No matter what she said to me, be it comforting words or angry yells, I would treat it like a trophy to be won. Even if she was taking a jab at me, I would be happy. Since I was young, I knew that if I did not fight for myself, I would not get anything. Once, my mother was trying to get Luna to drink some cough syrup. Luna had frowned and refused to drink. My mother was gently coaxing her. Suddenly, I really wanted to try the cough syrup. I only wanted to try it because I wanted to know how it felt to be coaxed and fed by my mother. Hence, I charged forward and took the cup over and downed the liquid. However, when I tasted it, I realized that it was merely fruit juice. I licked my lips and looked up in shock. Before I could even speak, my mother had slapped me. I stumbled as my cheek burned. My mother trembled in rage as she pointed at me with a shaking finger. “Petra, why are you this naughty?! “Have I not been feeding you? Why would you snatch this from Luna? How shameless could you be? “Get out! I don’t want you as a daughter. I won’t depend on you when I’m older!” My mother prodded my temple and woke me up from my memory. “Why are you in a daze?” She frowned and then sounded impatient as she usually did with me. “Did you not hear anything I just said? In the future, you must maintain a distance from Asher. “If the cat is out of the bag, I won’t forgive you.” My throat tensed up when I heard Asher’s name. I looked down and did not dare to look at Luna, who was walking toward Asher. Would he recognize me? He had been my lover for four years. Would he recognize that the young woman standing before him was not me? Luna took a deep breath and smoothed her dress before she walked toward Asher. She looked up at him. “Asher…” Chapter 2 Asher looked up and fixed his gaze on Luna. Then, he smiled and held Luna’s hand. I felt my heart thumping against my chest in sadness. It felt as though it was bursting through my chest when I saw them walking beside each other. My mother was smiling brightly. “Asher, you must be hungry. Quick, have a seat. Dinner’s almost ready!” She turned around and looked at me. Then, she instructed me with a happy voice. “Let’s order two additional dishes and bring over a bottle of good wine.” I looked down and did not say anything. Yesterday, when I mentioned that I wanted to bring my boyfriend to meet my parents, they only prepared a simple meal. They also treated Asher even better when he was with Luna. At the dinner table, Asher served Luna food with a gentle smile. He even blew on the soup to make sure it was no longer hot before he passed it over to Luna. My mother was thrilled when she saw that. “Asher, her dad passed away a long time ago. It was hard for me to bring them up as a single mother. “Since you’ve decided to be with Petra, you have to treat her well and protect her.” Asher looked at Luna lovingly. “Don’t worry, Mrs. Bloom. I fell in love with Petra at first sight.” Both Luna and my mother froze. I also paused and stared intently at Asher. Asher was an upperclassman of mine, and I had pursued him for a whole semester before he was willing to even spare a glance at me. He had not actually fallen in love with me at first sight. My mother pinched me hard underneath the table, and I stood up abruptly from the pain. Asher immediately looked over. “Are you alright?” My mother pulled me down calmly and smiled. “She’s fine. She’s always a little jumpy like this. Just ignore her.” I sat down again and continued eating. Every bite of food was extremely hard for me to swallow. My mother turned around to serve Luna some food. “Petra, you should eat more. Look at how thin you are.” She carefully looked at Luna’s face and suddenly said, “Your name doesn’t sound pretty. Let’s go and change your name to a nicer one.” I looked up in shock as a memory resurfaced in my mind. When I was in school, my teacher had told us about the meaning of names. She said Luna was named after the beautiful moon. As for me, she had skipped the meaning of my name with a laugh. After that, I went online to search and found out the meaning of my name. The meaning of my name was a rock. Luna was a beautiful moon, and I was just a rock. I was an unremarkable rock that could be easily tossed aside. Since I was a child, I had asked to change my name multiple times. Every time, my mother had been upset about it. She said that my father had named me. If I changed my name, I would be disrespecting my late father. However, Luna was called “Petra” a couple of times when my mother wanted to change her name. I hung my head and hid my expression. My tears fell into my food and I kept stuffing food into my mouth. I was eating very fast, and I felt a lump in my throat. Suddenly, I felt an urge to cough. I coughed up blood, and it splattered on the clean white floor. Chapter 3 Asher stood up abruptly and rushed toward my side. He helped me up and looked very worried. “What’s wrong? Why did you throw up blood?” He raised his hand and wiped the blood on the corner of my mouth with his thumb. “I’ll take you to the hospital.” As he said that, he wanted to help me up to my feet. I pushed his hand away and shrank back to the chair. “There’s no need. I’m fine. “I’m just feeling a little feverish these few days, and my gums are bleeding.” He looked down with intense eyes at me. “How is it possible for you to throw up this much blood from a mere gum bleed?” I forced a smile. “It’s true. “I know my own health well. I don’t have to go to the hospital.” He stared at me for a few seconds before slowly letting my hand go. My mother and Luna were looking at him. They were as shocked as he was. Luna immediately came back to her senses. She held Asher’s arm and led him back to his seat with a smile. “Asher’s too kind. “Whenever he sees stray animals on the side of the road, he would feed them. “He can’t stand the sight of anyone suffering.” My mother served me food and said, “Why are you eating so fast? “Slow down, no one is taking your food from you.” I hung my head in silence. Luna rested her head against Asher’s shoulder as she asked sweetly, “Asher, we’ve been together for so long. When are you going to marry me?” Asher peered down at her and smiled. “As long as you’re willing, I’ll marry you at any time.” Luna poked him shyly. Then, she smiled at me. “Luna, you can be my bridesmaid by then.” I dug my fingernails into my palm and forced myself to nod. “Alright.” I had also mentioned marriage many times. On the first Valentine’s Day after I graduated, I had asked Asher when we would get married. He said there was no rush. We had just graduated, so he wanted to wait for another two years. I asked again in the second year. He said his career was not on track yet. I no longer asked in the third year. It was the fourth year when I brought Asher back to meet my family. I just wanted to let him have a look at the place I grew up in before I died. The doctor said that once I started to throw up blood, it meant that the tumor was already pressing against my vital organs. I had three days to a week left to live. I knew that I did not have much more time left. Luna dragged Asher back to the bedroom as she said she wanted to choose a bridal shop. I sat before the dining table and ate the rest of my food in small bites. My mother glanced at me, and she felt a little sorry for me. She went into the kitchen and then came out with a glass of fruit juice. “Drink it while it’s fresh.” I lowered my head and took a sip. I felt the warmth in my stomach as I teared up. My mother softened her voice. “Do you still feel ill? “How about I accompany you to the hospital tomorrow?” I shook my head and smiled. “Mom, I’m fine.” It felt so nice. I finally had a glass of fruit juice that was specially made for me. My mother was quiet for a while before slowly saying, “Don’t hurt yourself on purpose just to get our attention in the future. “There are many fishes in the sea. Since you’ve promised to let Luna have Asher, you shouldn’t snatch him back from her. “Luna isn’t as headstrong as you, and she would never take anything that belongs to you. Since she requested it, it only means that she really likes him.” I held the glass as I felt my body getting colder. She was right. Luna never fought with me over anything. It was because she always got what she wanted. Luna was loved just for her existence. Everyone was willing to give her everything. As for me, what I fought so hard to get were her leftovers. Chapter 4 I woke up abruptly at midnight, coughing violently from suffocation. I reached out and touched my face. The bottom half of my face was covered in blood. I stumbled into the bathroom and washed my face. When I walked back to my bedroom, I heard Asher’s voice. I froze. “Luna, actually, you’re the one I loved since the start…” I felt my heart sink. I subconsciously held my breath and stood motionlessly before the door. Luna started sobbing. “Then, why did you get together with Petra?” Asher sighed. “I tried to locate your whereabouts, but I did not get any results after a year. “Then, Petra appeared before me. “I figured even if she was just a fake, I’d be happy to see a face like yours every day.” His words pierced through my ears. I felt a numbing pain in all my limbs. Luna’s voice shook. “What about Petra? “You’re with her for four years. How are you going to end it?” Asher stayed silent for a really long time. “I’ll make it up to her. “After all, we’ve been together for four years, and I’ve truly loved her. “I’ll give her some money and buy her a house. I’ll arrange a good job for her so she’ll live a comfortable life.” He spoke in a matter-of-factly manner, and he sounded so sincere. It sounded as if the compensation he mentioned had been more than enough. The relationship that I cherished so deeply had just been a misunderstanding from the start. I finally thought I had found someone who had willingly chosen me. In the end, he still belonged to Luna instead. I had been with Asher for four years. I had spent four years by his side and gave him my heart. It turned out to him that I was just a counterfeit product. I was occupying a spot that did not belong to me. I forced myself to go back to my bedroom. I bent down in pain. I bit my lip forcefully and suppressed the painful moan from coming out of my mouth. I did not sleep at all for the entire night. The next day, Luna opened the bedroom door. She saw my pale complexion and exclaimed, “Are you alright?! Why do you look so ill?” I shook my head and forced a smile. “I’m fine, I just couldn’t sleep well last night.” My mother glanced at me and frowned impatiently. “What are you up to again? “Today, Luna’s going to try on wedding gowns. You better be on your best behavior.” Luna laughed and leaned against Asher’s chest as she rubbed her head against his chin lovingly. After they expressed their feelings to each other last night, they were acting extremely close. In the bridal shop, the white wedding gowns looked like a young girl’s perfect dream. Luna chose a fishtail gown and twirled before the full-length mirror. I stared at her in a daze as I felt envious of her. Asher suddenly turned toward me. “Would you like to try on any gowns?” I was momentarily stunned as I dodged his gaze. Then, I shook my head. Luna walked over with a smile and quietly turned his attention away from me. The shopkeeper praised them. “You look like a match-made in heaven. What a beautiful couple!” I looked at them standing next to each other, and I felt an itchiness in my throat. I bent down as I coughed violently. I subconsciously covered my mouth and felt the warm liquid against my palm. I stumbled into the washroom. My mother glanced at me. Then, she said coldly and impatiently, “Ignore her. She’s putting on an act to get attention.” I leaned against the door in resignation. I did not even have the strength to stand upright. I poured out all my pills with trembling hands and stuffed them into my mouth. Then, I swallowed the pills without any water. However, the pain was still overwhelming. It washed over me like tidal waves. I fell onto the floor and curled up. Blood and half-dissolved pills dribbled out from the corner of my mouth. When I slowly lost consciousness, I suddenly wanted to call out to my mother. I wanted to ask her if she had ever loved me. She must have loved me, right? Was there a mother who did not love her own daughter? However, my voice was too soft. No one heard me. I mustered my very last strength to call my mother. She hung up on me after two beeps. Her text message popped up on my screen. [Petra, can you stop being so competitive?] [Luna’s trying on wedding gowns. Don’t cause any more trouble.] I stared at the text message for a really long time. Tears trickled down my cheeks. I let out a final breath and shut my eyes quietly. After a long while, the shopkeeper opened the door. When she saw my pale face, she screamed in terror. “Help! Someone, help! There’s a dead person!” My mother and Asher walked over after hearing her screams. My mother forced her way through the crowd and saw my purplish body. She froze as blood drained out of her face immediately. “Petra? Petra!”