Done with You

It had been five years since Julian threw away his status as the heir to the Young family just to be with me. Now, we were crammed into a leaky, run-down apartment, screaming at each other because we couldn’t make ends meet. The rent was one thousand five hundred dollars, our child’s medical bills were three thousand dollars, and he needed thirty thousand dollars just to smooth things over for his career. Yet, right in the middle of all this, Julian got into a fight with his boss and impulsively quit his job. I yelled at him, saying he still thought he was some high-and-mighty rich kid who refused to grow up. He just sneered at me coldly, claiming I had deliberately set a trap years ago to get pregnant and ruin his life. “If you hadn’t gotten pregnant on purpose, would I ever have ended up in a place like this?” I wanted nothing more than to slap him hard across the face. However, I remembered that last month, just to land a contract, his former business associates forced so many drinks on that once-arrogant man that he ended up with alcohol poisoning. With a quiet sigh, I accepted a fifth part-time gig from an agency, working as a clinical trial subject at a private hospital. By the time they drew my twelfth vial of blood over the course of seven days, I was so dizzy I could barely stand. However, as I finally stumbled back to our neighbourhood, I saw one of his old high school sweethearts hugging him, crying. “As long as you leave them behind, you can go back to the Young family! Why are you suffering like this? I’ve… I’ve been waiting for you this whole time.” Julian stayed silent for a moment before gently pushing her away. “She bore my child. Where else could I possibly go?” That very night, however, he came home wasted. He stumbled over, his trembling hands reaching out to choke me. “Why do I have to waste the rest of my life on you? Why couldn’t you and that sickly kid just die on the operating table?” Chapter 1 I wanted to struggle, but a warm tear fell onto my face, and it was burning. Suddenly, I lost the urge to move. Would dying finally bring relief? The hands around my neck tightened with each second. Just then, an agonizing fit of coughing echoed from our daughter’s room next door. Her illness was acting up again. Born prematurely, her lungs were underdeveloped, and every episode felt like someone was strangling her. Julian jerked his hands back. I couldn’t pretend to be unconscious anymore and snapped my eyes open, rushing toward our daughter’s bedroom. However, his eyes were bloodshot as he stopped me. “The doctor said a child in her condition might not even live past seven,” Julian said in a hoarse voice. “Why do you keep dragging this out? Claire, aren’t you exhausted?” I froze and then screamed, “Get out of my way!” He gripped the hem of my shirt tightly, his knuckles turning white. Chapter 2 Our daughter’s breathing grew faster and more ragged by the second. Suddenly, he let go of my neck, bolted into the bedroom, scooped her up, and rushed out the door. When the emergency room doors slammed shut, he slid down against the wall, covering his face in his hands. The blood from his knees had soaked right through his pants. “I’m sorry… I have no idea what’s wrong with me…” I raised my hand, wanting to hit him. Instead, I froze as I realized that even though he was only twenty-nine, strands of white hair were already peeking through his dark locks. Aside from those strikingly handsome features, he looked nothing like the man he used to be. The first time I met him, he had walked into the flower shop where I worked part-time to get a bouquet for his mother. Back then, he wore a tailored suit with diamond-encrusted cufflinks. He was nothing like the man standing before me today, whose T-shirt collar had faded to a pale, washed-out white. My hand dropped back down to my side. “Julian, if I take our daughter and leave, would things be easier for you?” He suddenly shoved me away, trying very hard to suppress the frustration in his eyes. “Stop using these fake, manipulative tests on me!” He pushed me so hard that the back of my head slammed against the wall, and my skin split open. He did his absolute best to mask the disgust in his eyes. “If I wanted to leave, I would have left long ago. I’m not going to abandon the both of you.” Amidst the agonizing throb at the back of my head, my mind drifted back seven years ago. Back then, he had pushed open the door to the flower shop, caught sight of me, and stood there staring like a complete fool. “I want to buy every single flower in this shop and give them all to you. May I learn your name?” After that day, he spent two whole years pursuing me. He remembered every detail about me and ultimately confessed his love to me under a sky of fireworks. He was a brilliant young man who gave me his heart, and I fell for him. However, fate was cruel. The year he graduated, young and proud, he was drugged while taking over his family’s business. I rushed over after getting his call, only to find him barely conscious and burning with fever. A few people tried to stop me, and during the struggle, someone forced a drink down my throat. From that night, the only thing I could remember was him holding me close, repeating over and over, “Claire, don’t be afraid.” A month later, I found out I was pregnant. When Julian brought me back home to meet his family, his mother wouldn’t even let me set foot through the door. “A penniless orphan like you thinks a baby is your golden ticket into our family?” To force him back into line, his family cut off his inheritance and used their influence to make him unemployable. However, he refused to back down. After apologizing to his parents, he took my hand and walked away. “Claire, wherever you are is where I belong.” Yet, reality was a bottomless pit that could never be filled, taking all the love away. Once the emergency surgery was over, the doors swung open. I was too afraid to go in because I didn’t want my daughter to see my head injury, so Julian went in first. Our daughter’s voice sounded tiny. “Daddy, I’m sorry… Why are your eyes so red? Did I do something wrong again?” Julian couldn’t look her in the eye. “No, it’s not your fault, Annie.” The doctor flipped through her chart. “She needs to be hospitalized for further treatment. You’ll need to pay an upfront deposit of fifty thousand dollars.” I walked into the room right after patching up my wound, just in time to hear the amount. I only had twenty thousand dollars left from the clinical trial money. It wasn’t enough—not even close. As Julian turned to leave, he bumped right into me. Looking into his hollow eyes, I said, “About the money…” I wanted to tell him that I would figure out a way to get the money, and that if he was tired, he could just rest. However, as he brushed past me, he shoved me hard into the doorframe. My wound opened up again, and blood began trickling down my neck. “Claire, I’ve tried my best. I really have… I’m out of options, and I can’t handle this anymore.” I leaned against the wall, my vision slowly fading to black. I stayed like that until my daughter called out to me nervously. “Mommy? What’s wrong?” Forcing a smile onto my face, I walked over and gently stroked her hair. “Annie, once you get discharged, would you like to move somewhere else with me?” “What about Daddy?” My smile instantly stiffened. “Daddy isn’t coming with us.” Chapter 3 Annie fell silent. After a little while, she asked in her tiny voice, “Is it because of me?” My heart felt as if someone had grabbed it and squeezed it. “It’s not because of you. It’s just that Daddy is tired, so he wants to take a break, okay?” She nodded, still confused, and placed her small hand on my face. “Mommy, you have dark circles under your eyes. I want you to rest, too.” I held Annie close. “I’m not tired.” The next day, Annie’s condition took a sharp turn for the worse. She started coughing up blood, her tiny face turning purple as she gasped for air. The doctors rushed in to resuscitate her while I was pushed out into the hallway, where a nurse handed me a notice for the overdue fees. I scrolled through all my contacts. I had already borrowed from everyone I could, and I had begged everyone I could beg. When I made my last-ditch call, the person on the other end stayed silent for a long time before saying, “Claire, you haven’t even paid me back the three thousand dollars you borrowed last month.” Left with no other choice, I reached back out to the hospital about the clinical trials. They turned me down bluntly. “No way. Your liver and kidney function tests are already in the red. You can’t participate anymore.” Seeing Annie lying there with tubes hooked up to her, I decided I would just have to find another hospital. As soon as I ran downstairs, I bumped right into Julian. He shoved a receipt into my hand and said, “I’ve paid Annie’s hospital bill. Don’t use the excuse of abandoning our child to shut me down anymore.” A dark bruise covered his cheekbone, and his knuckles were swollen. I clutched the paper tight, and a realization suddenly hit me. “Where did you get so much money?” During our first year after leaving the Young family, my prenatal checkups cost money, and pregnancy complications required expensive care. So, he went behind my back to join illegal underground fights. When he came home, he had two broken ribs, but he was holding eighteen hundred dollars in cash and a bag of imported health supplements, smiling as if nothing had happened. “Didn’t you promise me that you’d never go back there again?” I yelled. “I can figure out the money! I don't need you putting your life on the line for us!” He closed his eyes, then suddenly let out a calm, bitter smile. “You can? Fine, then you do it.” He tugged me along and led me into a dingy, gray building. It was thick with smoke, with several shirtless men playing cards. “Hey, Julian, you’re really going all out, huh? You just fought two matches, and you’re back for more?” He pushed me forward. “Not me. Her.” One of the men sized me up, frowning. “A woman fighting? What kind of joke is that? But… we are short on ‘volunteers’ for platelet donations. It pays a twenty-thousand-dollar allowance per session. “Looking at her pale face, though… Can she even handle having her blood drawn? If something goes wrong, it could cost her life.” Julian glanced at me, his gaze fleeting. “She can.” Then, he turned around and walked out. The man asked if I had really made up my mind. I looked at the closed door and nodded. Twenty thousand dollars was enough to cover Annie’s medical bills for six months. I lay down on an old medical chair. First, they needed to draw blood for a preliminary test. When the thick, outdated needle pierced my arm, the pain made me cry out loud. My exhausted body was screaming in protest. Just as they were preparing to insert the main needle, the door was kicked open. Julian’s chest heaved as he panted. “Forget it. We don’t need the allowance. Book me for another match tomorrow instead.” I sat up abruptly, causing the needle to slip out of my vein, and blood splattered across the bedsheets. “Get out! I told you I don’t need your help!” Due to my severe anemia, I couldn’t stand steady. So, he crouched down, pulled me onto his back, and began walking us home. “Claire, I said… forget it.” My consciousness faded in and out, blurring the line between the past and the present. During our second year after he left the Young family, I used to wait for him at the restaurant where he worked until closing time. To save on bus fare, he would carry me home on his back. Lying on his back in a daze, I used to ask him softly, “Julian, did you secretly work four jobs again today? Are you really tired? Do you regret any of this?” He held me securely on his back and replied, “As long as I’m with you, nothing else matters.” Now, along with the wind, the very same voice drifted into my ears. “I regret it, Claire.” My tears splashed onto his back. “I regret it, too.” Perhaps I shouldn’t have given birth to Annie in the first place and made everyone suffer along with me. However, I had no choice back then. The doctor warned that given my health complications, an abortion carried extreme risks to my own life. My vision went dark, and I passed out. When I woke up, I was lying at home. I sat up abruptly as Annie came to my mind. Just then, Julian called. “I’m at the hospital,” he said. “The doctor said Annie needs to be hospitalized for ten days. Bring a change of clothes over.” Ten days. I repeated the number silently in my head. In ten days, I would be leaving for good. Just as I was about to hang up, I heard Annie’s voice on the line. “Daddy, once I get discharged from the hospital, I’ll be good and go away with Mommy… That way, you can finally get a good rest.” Chapter 4 My heart skipped a beat, and I wanted to say a few words to cover it up. Instead, Julian’s sarcastic voice cut in first. “Fine. You can stop teaching Annie how to put on an act with you. I’ve paid this month’s rent, and I’ve saved enough for two months of her medical bills. You don’t have to keep pushing me.” A bitter feeling washed over me, and I said, “That’s great. That’s what you ought to be doing anyway, so drop the aggrieved look.” The call suddenly disconnected. I clutched my phone and forced a grim smile on my face. Since Julian had paid the hospital bills, I still had the money I saved from the clinical trials in the bank. So, I picked a small southern town and bought two bus tickets. It would be a good place for Annie to recover. After taking care of all this, I rushed over to the hospital, only to hear Annie sobbing and gasping for breath. Julian’s old high school sweetheart, Quinn Ford, was pinching Annie’s arm, shouting, “Why couldn’t a dead weight like you just die? Do you and your shameless mother insist on dragging Julian down until he’s completely ruined? “Do you have any idea how brilliant he used to be? He used to have the whole city at his feet! But look at him now!” Seeing that Annie’s arm was already badly bruised, I charged forward and yanked Quinn away. Just as Quinn lost her balance and fell to the floor, Julian walked in. Tears immediately trickled down Quinn’s face. “I only came for a visit… but they accused me of trying to steal you away and told me to get out… Is this really the person you gave up everything for back then?” Panicked, Annie tried to explain. “No, Daddy, it was her…” As if he hadn’t heard a thing, Julian fixed his eyes on me and asked, “Is that true?” I looked at him, my heart crushed, and then smiled. “Yeah, that’s right. So what? You paid the rent and saved up for the medical bills, but what is that little bit of money supposed to cover? “Like I said, I gave birth to your child, and since the kid is mine too, you have to stay bound to us. Don’t even dream of going anywhere else.” Suddenly, he lost his composure. He raised his hand toward me, but it froze mid-air. In the end, he grabbed my shoulders with a deadly grip. “I’ve sacrificed my entire life for you. Can’t I even catch up with an old friend now?” Julian’s grip was so strong that it felt like he was going to crush my bones. I bit my lip, refusing to make a sound. Only when he heard a quiet crack from my bones did he finally let go. He turned around and apologized to Quinn, “I’m sorry. I’ll apologize on their behalf. She didn’t mean it.” Quinn looked at him in total disbelief. “They’ve ruined your life, and you’re apologizing on their behalf? Do you have any idea how terribly thin and frail you look right now?” She grabbed Julian’s sleeve, her voice choking up. “And what about me? Julian, you said you missed me…” Julian remained silent for a very long time before he replied, “You misheard.” Quinn covered her face and ran away in tears. Julian looked at Annie, his eyes hollow, and asked, “Why did you have to be my daughter?” Then, he looked over at me and continued, “Why did I have to fall in love with you back then?” With that, he turned and ran after Quinn. I watched as he left, recalling the year Annie turned one. We had just moved from a basement room to a run-down suburban house, where the window frame couldn’t keep the wind out. He could only afford to buy down jackets for Annie and me, while he wore a thin, frayed coat himself. Even his lips turned purple from the cold. With red eyes, I had asked him, “Do you think you’re unlucky to have met me?” He held my hand and Annie’s hand tightly in his palms, saying, “Having you and the baby is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. The first time I saw you, I thought I was the luckiest man on earth.” Annie’s voice pulled me back to reality. “Mommy, are you and Daddy fighting because of me? The other kids were right… I really am just a troublemaker…” I squeezed her hand, which was covered in scars from the needles. “Remember when you were learning to write, you used to take your frustrations out on me whenever you got tired? It’s the same for Daddy. He’s just feeling overwhelmed.” Annie nodded, though her tears kept falling. That night, triggered by the emotional stress, Annie coughed up a lot of blood, and her hemoglobin levels dropped to a critical low. The doctor rushed in, his face grim. “She needs a blood transfusion, but the blood bank is out! Do any family members of hers share the same blood type?” Julian was the only one who did, so I dialed his number like crazy. It rang for a long time before the call finally went through on the third attempt. The moment he picked up, he sounded exhausted. “I’m just spending one night with Quinn so I can catch my breath. Can’t I go back to being your good husband tomorrow?” Then, he hung up and blocked my number. Chapter 5 The alarm from the heart monitor blasted through the entire floor. Doctors were shouting, “We need to resuscitate!” In absolute despair, I begged every bystander in the hallway for help. “Excuse me, is your blood type O-negative?” A kind young girl stopped and said, “I am.” Just like that, Annie was saved, and the numbers on the monitor returned to normal. When she woke up, she looked around the ward. “Did Daddy come?” I couldn’t bear to disappoint her, so I said, “He’s out working. He’ll come as soon as he's off work. He even said he’d bring you a gift.” She nodded happily. I wiped my face and tried sending him a message. Since I wasn’t blocked anymore, I told him to bring a gift for Annie and that we could talk about everything else later. He agreed. Yet when he arrived that night, his hands were empty. “Where’s the gift?” He rubbed his temples. “I’m sorry. I forgot.” I lost my temper. “Do you have any idea what happened last night–” Annie cut in before I could finish, hiding her disappointment remarkably well. “It’s okay. As long as Daddy is here.” He nodded, leaning against the wall as he muttered, “Last night, when I walked Quinn home, I saw my parents. I hadn’t seen them in six years… and I didn’t even dare to say hello.” Looking at his bleak smile, I turned my head away. After that day, I stayed with Annie during the day and worked part-time at night. With those earnings, I managed to rent a house in a small southern town. Julian, too, worked like a dog to make money, leaving early in the morning and returning late at night, and transferred all his earnings to me. Occasionally, he would stare at me and say, “Claire, if I make enough money, we can…” However, he never finished the rest of his sentence. Though we lived under the same roof, we were now like two strangers. On the day Annie was discharged from the hospital, she tugged at Julian’s shirt tail. “Daddy, can you please stay in tomorrow? Can we just have a meal together?” Julian patted her head and agreed. “Okay.” That night, Annie lay in my arms, saying, “Mommy, my teacher said that we should say a proper goodbye when we leave.” The next day, she woke up very early. She wanted to make Julian’s favorite dish—pasta—with her own hands. She even stood on a small stool to mix the sauce and the pasta herself. However, just as the dish was brought to the table, Julian’s phone rang. He accidentally put it on speaker, and Quinn’s tearful voice echoed through the room. “I’m really leaving this time. I’ve agreed to the arranged marriage my family set up. I can’t wait for you anymore.” Julian gripped his phone tightly and rushed out the door. I grabbed hold of him. “You promised Annie you’d have a meal with her!” He pried my fingers off, his face filled with anxiety. “It’s just a meal! It’s the same no matter when we eat it!” With that, he left. Annie stood at the doorway, watching as he walked away, for a very long time. She even spoke up to comfort me. “It’s okay, Mommy. Writing a goodbye note to Daddy works just as well.” Her writing was crooked but earnest, and she placed the note on the coffee table. “Mommy, let’s go.” I nodded, took her by the hand, dragged our luggage along, and shut the door behind us. I didn’t look back, not even once. That night, when Julian returned home, the apartment was quiet, and the lights were off. The plate of pasta in the oven had gone cold. He called out twice, but no one answered. That was when he found the note left on the table. In Annie’s crooked writing, it said, “Goodbye, Daddy. Please eat well and sleep well. From now on, you won’t have to work so hard anymore.”