A Family of Five, and I Rank Sixth

After my grandmother passed away, my parents brought me back from the countryside to the city. That was when I learned I had a younger sister, born a mere year after me. My mother sat me down and reminded me that as the oldest sister, I needed to learn to yield to my siblings in everything. I nodded quietly, understanding my place. In this household, I ranked fourth. Later, my little brother was born, and my standing effortlessly plummeted from fourth to fifth. The turning point came during the summer of my sophomore year of college. When I returned home for the holidays, I discovered the front door had been outfitted with a brand-new, high-tech smart lock. They had completely forgotten to mention it to me. Clutching a dead phone, I sat on the hot concrete of the stairwell, waiting from two o'clock in the afternoon until ten o'clock at night. When they finally emerged, they were dragging luggage behind them, laughing and chatter-boxing about the highlights of their recent vacation. The four of them were wearing matching family T-shirts. Naturally, there wasn't one for me. As my dad begrudgingly attempted to program my thumbprint into the system, he let out a sharp, irritated click of his tongue. "The master administrator account only permits five profiles. There's no room to add another." My mom barely looked up. "Just set her up with a temporary guest token. We can manually authorize her whenever she decides to visit." As I stood there stunned, my brother laughed. "Shelly registered the dog's nose print into the system. She said he's an important member of the family. Guess that leaves you out of the slot!" In a family of five, the dog claimed the fifth tier, and I ranked sixth. That very night, I quietly filled out the application to join a classified frontier research program. I understood that when a visitor's time ran out, the only proper thing to do was take their leave. Chapter 1 "Jane, how many days are you planning to stay this time?" asked my dad, Michael Brown. He kept his eyes trained on his phone screen, his thumb rapidly scrolling through the smart lock's administrative application. Without waiting for my response, he continued, "The guest token caps out at a maximum of seven days. I'll authorize a one-week clearance for you now. Make sure you track the expiration date and remind me to renew it." My mom, Sandy Brown, grabbed my wrist and forcefully pressed my finger onto the biometric sensor. She cycled through three different fingers on my right hand, but the machine cut through the silence with a sequence of error chimes. Her features tightened with impatience. "Why are you the only one having trouble? Shel and Mau registered on the first try." My younger sister and brother both had elegant names carefully chosen by our parents. Mine was a simple one, picked at random by my illiterate grandmother in the village. When addressing them, my parents used tender, truncated nicknames. When addressing me, they always used Jane in an indifferent tone. Sandy switched to my left thumb, but the sensor flashed red yet again. She dropped my hand with a heavy, exasperated sigh. "You always make everything complicated. Figure it out yourself." I stared down at my palm. Before ten, I had lived with my grandma in the countryside. Her failing health meant the burden of survival fell on my small shoulders. Outside of school hours, my days were consumed by chores like tending to the garden, eliminating the grass, and managing the livestock. When she passed away, my parents brought me back to their home in the city. But my role merely shifted from rural laborer to domestic servant. I became the designated handler for all household chores—washing dishes, scrubbing counters, and mopping floors. My hands were perpetually marinated in detergents. Perhaps my identifying ridges had been sandpapered down by years of friction, or the thick calluses were shielding my identity from the scanner. "Stop daydreaming!" Michael barked, growing irritated. "If you can't get it to work, none of us have the spare time to constantly play doorman for you. Don't start complaining later that we lock you out." I wiped the sweat from my palms with a tissue, then pressed my thumb firmly onto the glass. A soft beep sounded, and the lock responded in its mechanical voice, "Guest registration successful." Michael put his phone away and headed into the living room. The rest of the family had already begun unboxing the spoils of their vacation. There were premium teas for Michael's clients, artisanal pastries for Sandy's coworkers, and elaborate ornaments for the relatives. The contents overflowed across the floor, but not a single item had been bought for me. "Where did you guys travel to?" I asked with a hoarse voice. Why was I the only one who hadn't known? But no one bothered to offer an answer. Shelly leaned against Sandy, giggling as she scrolled through photos on her phone. "Mom, look at this family portrait. It's perfect." Michael leaned over. "Yeah, it's great. You came up with some really creative poses." I wasn't featured in a single frame. Yet, without a hint of irony, they called it a family portrait. Mauro wrinkled his nose, waving his hand through the air before casting a critical look in my direction. "By the way, Jane, I meant to tell you the second you walked in," he scoffed. "You should go take a shower. You're radiating a distinct odor. Can you seriously not smell yourself? How are you more unhygienic than a guy?" "Exactly," Sandy chimed in. "Go scrub yourself raw. Don't bring any of those unrefined hygiene habits you picked up from your grandma into my house." It was the suffocating peak of July. I had waited outside in a stuffy hallway with no air conditioning for over eight hours. My clothing was saturated with sweat; my hair was plastered to the curve of my neck and cheeks from the ambient heat. I had refused to leave that spot for a minute, terrified that if I walked away, I would miss the window of their return. Ironically, none of them asked if I was suffering from the heat or if I had eaten. They only complained about my smell. Without a word, I headed toward the bathroom. That was when the phone in my pocket vibrated with an incoming notification. It was a direct transmission from my university thesis advisor. Danial Koch: [This classified program has strict conditions. Once you join, you won't be able to contact the outside world. Has your family agreed?] I typed back: [Thank you for the oversight, Professor. I'll discuss it with them.] In reality, I had no intention of doing any such thing. The departure of a visitor was a matter that required no one's permission but their own. Chapter 2 I went into my bedroom to get a change of clothes. The moment I turned on the light, I froze. Dozens of storage boxes were tightly packed across the bed and blocking the walkway. My trophies and books were gone from the bookshelf, replaced by Mauro's model airplanes. When I opened the closet, it was filled with Shelly's seasonal clothes. I turned around and went back to the living room. "Where are my things?" I asked. "They were just taking up space, so I threw them out," Sandy said casually. "Shel and Mau have too much stuff to fit in their own rooms. So, I told them to clear out the things they don't use often and put them in your room. Anyway, you're rarely home, so the room was just sitting empty." I looked at her. "Then where am I supposed to sleep?" "Just move the boxes from the bed to the utility closet," Michael chimed in without even looking up from his phone. "Do I have to explain everything?" I walked over to the utility closet and found it was mostly empty. By the time I finished hauling every box out of my room, I was drenched in sweat again. When I sat down to catch my breath, Michael frowned. "Why aren't you showering yet?" "The bathroom's occupied." "Shel and Mau know how to schedule their time. You're the only one who always waits until everyone else is done." Too exhausted to argue, I tilted my head back, drank a glass of cold water, and waited another hour before it was finally my turn. The bathroom was still thick with steam, and the trapped heat made me feel dizzy the moment I stepped inside. Sandy knocked sharply on the door and called out, "Wash yourself properly. Don't bring those bad habits you picked up in the countryside into this house." The shower poured down like heavy rain across my face. I wiped the water from my eyes, unable to tell if it was the spray or my own tears. When I was first brought back home, the unspoken rule was that I could only shower after Shelly was finished. Back then, the apartment used an electric water heater; by the time she stepped out, the hot water was always long gone. I just had to make do with a cold rinse. I remembered a family gathering back then. My aunt pinched my ear in front of everyone and laughed, "Look at this girl! There is dirt behind her ears. Don't you know how to scrub?" Sandy's face darkened as she slammed her fork on the table. "She learned it all from her grandmother. Her hygiene habits are terrible." But my grandmother had never taught me to be dirty. She was just old, and her eyesight was failing, leaving her with barely enough energy to look after me. And Sandy hadn't taught me either. She was always too busy drawing baths for Shelly to notice me. That night, Sandy dragged me into the bathroom, turned on the hot water, and scrubbed me herself. I flinched from the heat. "Mom, it's too hot!" My crying only made her angrier, and she scrubbed harder with the washcloth. "Do you have any idea how much you embarrassed me? So dirty! You don't look like my daughter at all!" Ever since that night, every time I showered, I made sure to scrub myself from head to toe until my skin turned bright red. Only then did I feel safe. But she never noticed. ... When I came out of the bathroom, Michael spoke in a low voice. "Shel and Mau are already asleep. Don't use the hair dryer; it's too loud." I nodded silently and dried my hair as best as I could with a towel. Then I sat down at my laptop and opened the university application portal. Cold water from my hair dripped onto the back of my hand, sending a shiver through me. The instructions stated that tonight was the final deadline for submission, and departure was only two weeks away. My cursor hovered over the confidentiality agreement. [During the project, the participant will enter absolute isolation. All external communication, including contact with family, will be cut off.] Without hesitating, I clicked Submit. The next morning, I printed the required consent form and took it to my parents for their signatures. Michael was watching the morning news. "Take it to your mom. Can't you see I'm busy?" Sandy was checking Mauro's summer homework. It was just elementary school math, but she held a pen and reviewed every line with total focus. I slid the consent form over the workbook. Without scanning a word, she carelessly scrawled her name. "Aren't you going to read it?" I asked. "No need," she said, waving her hand dismissively. "It's not like you have anything important going on anyway." Shelly was chatting with her classmates on her phone, and Mauro was still fast asleep. No one in this house knew I was about to drop off the face of the earth. And no one cared. Chapter 3 A few days later, some of Michael's and Sandy's friends came over for dinner. I was in the kitchen washing fruit when I heard Michael introducing Shelly and Mauro to the guests. One of the guests laughed and praised him. "Michael, you're blessed to have kids like this. Your daughter's going to a top state university, and your son is winning math Olympiad medals at such a young age. You've done a great job raising them!" Michael waved a hand. "Not at all. My oldest daughter is difficult to handle. I wanted her to pick a college closer to home, but she insisted on going all the way to Eldorainbay to study... What was it again? Aircraft engineering or something. Sounds impractical." My major was Aircraft Propulsion Engineering. My advisor had described it as building hearts for rockets. But to Michael, it was just an impractical major he couldn't even bother to remember. At the dinner table, one of the ladies turned the conversation to college expenses. "My daughter just got accepted to a university in Eldorainbay, too," she sighed. "It's a big city. I'm not sure how much allowance I should give her." I started to answer, but Sandy placed a shrimp on my plate. "Girls should be raised in luxury," she said smoothly. "Shelly gets $2,500 every month in Korostead, and I'm constantly sending her extra. I'd be heartbroken if some boy managed to lure her away with cheap favors." "Oh, Mom..." Shelly drawled on cue. "If you're so worried about me, why won't you let me upgrade my tablet? I got a scholarship this semester." My mom wrapped an arm around her affectionately. "We'll buy it. We'll go to the mall in a couple of days." I quietly looked down at my phone, which was constantly low on battery. It was an old model Michael had used for five years before handing it down to me after my high school graduation. I had used it for another two years. By now, it lagged constantly, and the battery could barely hold a charge for more than a few hours. My parents only gave me $500 a month for living expenses. Their reason was that they had to support two daughters in college while funding Mauro's expensive tutoring classes. And because I was the eldest child, it was my duty to be understanding of their financial strain. The lady sighed in admiration. "Shelly got a scholarship? What a stellar child!" "It's nothing major, really," Shelly chuckled. "Just a departmental award. I still have room for improvement." Sandy beamed with pride. "Shelly is always far too humble. It was $800, after all. Jane has never brought home anything like that." Mauro piped up. "When I get to college, I'm going to be just like Shelly. I'll bring home scholarships, too." Michael laughed, ruffling the boy's hair. The table was filled with laughter and happy conversation. I sat silently in the middle of it, using my fork to lift the shrimp out of my plate. I peeled it beneath the edge of the tablecloth and slipped it to the dog waiting at my ankles. Even the smallest bite of seafood caused my skin to erupt into hives that kept me awake all night. After all these years, Sandy still hadn't remembered. And there was no point in pulling out the national scholarship certificate from my suitcase. After all, they hadn't even thrown me a graduation celebration after I ranked in the top ten in the state on my SATs. "Shel is taking the test only a year after you," they had reasoned. "If we throw you a massive party now, the pressure will crush her spirits. Wait until she gets into college next year, and we'll celebrate both of you together." The following summer, Shelly secured admission to a standard college. My ecstatic parents immediately booked 20 tables at a luxury hotel for her celebration party. When I asked if I could reserve one table for my teachers as a thank-you, they scolded me. "Why do you have to steal Shel's thunder on her special night?" I learned the rules long ago. When Shelly was occupying the spotlight, my only job was to be the invisible background. ... After the guests left, I busied myself washing the dishes and mopping the floors. When I finally found a moment to approach Michael, who was half-reclined on the sofa nursing his drink, he merely let out a lazy grunt. Mauro and Shelly were playing video games nearby, making a lot of noise. Assuming Michael hadn't heard me over the noise, I repeated my request to renew my guest token. His brow furrowed with impatience as he fished his phone out of his pocket. "I heard you. I'll give you another week. That should be enough, right? Why are you even staying home for so long this time anyway? Aren't you going out to find a summer job?" Before I could answer, he closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. "You're an adult now. You should at least know how to relieve some of the financial burdens on this family instead of just nesting in the house all day." I pressed my lips together. I looked at him for a quiet moment, then turned and walked away. ... The next morning, as I was going to the bathroom to brush my teeth, Michael rubbed his head and called out to stop me. "Last night... I drank a bit too much at dinner," he said. "The things I said weren't quite right. I didn't mean to kick you out." I nodded. "I know, Dad." I understood that alcohol merely stripped away the filters, leaving the truth. I knew he expected me to do what I had done during every previous break—disappearing to work part-time jobs to support myself. I knew with certainty that this home no longer had a place for me. Chapter 4 The day before I left fell on a weekend. Sandy called out to me as she headed for the door. "We're going to the mall. You should come with us." I was instinctively about to decline, but she added, "Your clothes are worn out. We'll buy you something new." Buy something for me? I froze in surprise. The last time Sandy had bought me a piece of clothing was back in high school, and even then, it was just a gym uniform. Spurred by a faint flicker of hope, I stepped forward and followed them out to the car. Once we arrived at the shopping center, I drifted toward the clearance racks, sifting through the discounted autumn and winter jackets. The team leader for our university expedition had already sent out a notice, warning us that the frontier region was plagued by harsh winds and freezing temperatures, advising us to pack plenty of warm layers. After searching for a while, I finally picked out a sturdy, waterproof jacket, but the price tag read $563. Sandy looked away. "It's still summer. Why don't you pick out some shirts instead?" Without waiting for an answer, she stuffed a plain white T-shirt into my hands. "Look at this one. Simple and clean. It's on sale, and if we pair it with Shelly's items, we'll just hit the store-wide discount threshold." The T-shirt was $45. Combined with Shelly's expensive haul, it brought their total bill to just over $1,000. The mall's air conditioning was freezing. I crossed my arms, rubbing my sleeves to generate some warmth, but it didn't help. The chill seemed to settle deep inside me. Mauro grew bored with shopping and began whining for ice cream. Seeing that my hands were full of shopping bags, he didn't wait for me to answer. He reached out, unzipped the side pocket of my backpack, and pulled out my wallet. "Don't worry, Jane. I'm just going to grab a few cones. I'll be right back," he shouted, already running off into the crowd. When he finally returned, his hands were loaded with four ice cream cones. Not a single one was for me. He scratched his cheek, offering a careless grin. "Sorry. My hands were full, and I couldn't carry any more. Want me to run back and get another?" Before I could open my mouth, Michael turned around, his brow furrowed in disapproval. "Jane, how old are you now? Why are you still making your brother run errands for you?" I shook my head. "It's fine. I don't want any ice cream anyway." Mauro tilted his head. "Jane, why are your eyes so red?" Looking into his clear eyes, I found myself unable to voice even a simple, clumsy lie. But he didn't really care; he turned on his heels and chased after Michael. That evening, we went out to a restaurant. While ordering, Sandy reminded Michael, "Shelly loves steamed fish, and Mauro likes steaks. Make sure you don't forget their favorites." Michael nodded. "I won't." I sat at the edge of the table, clutching a glass of water and sipping it in silence. After dinner, I decided to purchase some local specialties for my university advisor. But the moment I unzipped my wallet, my heart stopped. All the cash I had hidden away was gone. The $850 was what I had earned through standing for ten straight hours a day at a shop for ten days. I instinctively whipped my head around toward Mauro. His eyes darted around erratically, and he took a step back, hiding behind Sandy. "Did you steal my money?" I demanded. Sandy instantly flared up, shielding Mauro with her body. "What are you shouting for?" she snapped. "What do you mean by steal? Mau is your brother! So what if he used a little bit of your money? Do you have to make such a big deal out of it?" I refused to drop my arm, stubbornly keeping my palm extended toward the boy. "Give it back to me." Mauro burst into loud, dramatic tears. "I just wanted to buy a new game cartridge! Mom said no, but I wanted it so badly!" Michael's expression darkened. "As an older sister, can you not show a shred of tolerance for your brother? Scaring him to tears over a handful of pocket change—what is wrong with you? Do you really want to cause a scene in public and let everyone laugh at us?" My extended hand froze in mid-air. Michael swept Mauro up into a comforting embrace. Sandy hurried to wipe away his tears, and Shelly pulled a piece of candy from her purse to soothe his crying. They were a family. And me? I was just a stranger standing on the pavement. "Go home and reflect on your attitude! Learn to be a proper sister!" Michael barked over his shoulder, leading Mauro to leave. Sandy and Shelly quickly followed. Once again, I was left behind. With no cash and only a dead phone, I had no choice but to walk home. It was a journey of nearly 15 miles, spanning the distance from the southern district of the city back to the north. Along the way, I took a wrong turn down an unfamiliar road and ended up walking in a useless circle. I walked and paused, feeling the painful blisters on the soles of my feet pop and grind against my shoes. The trek took me nearly eight agonizing hours. By the time I finally stumbled into the courtyard of the apartment building, it was the wee hours. The security guard was shocked. "What happened to you? Your face is so pale." I forced a smile. "I'm fine." I would get used to it eventually. The long road stretching out across the rest of my life was one I would have to walk alone. At five o'clock the next morning, I picked up my phone, which had only managed to charge halfway, and quietly wheeled my suitcase through the living room. The entire household was still fast asleep. The dog was awakened by the faint rustle of my movement, padding over to follow me toward the entrance with soft whimpers. I bent down and stroked his head. "Thank you for seeing me off." The dog didn't understand the finality of my words; he simply wagged his tail in the dark. I slipped through the front door and pulled it shut behind me with a quiet click. ... When the plane finally touched down at Eldorainbay Airport, it was ten o'clock in the morning. I quickly located the university coordinator and gathered with the rest of our research team. The lead advisor clapped his hands to gather our attention. "Alright everyone, take a final minute to say your goodbyes to your families. We'll be collecting phones in a few minutes." I unlocked my screen one last time. In the family group chat, a notification showed that Sandy had tagged me an hour ago. [Your guest access token for the smart lock expires later today. If you want us to extend your digital key, you need to call your brother and give him a proper apology.] [We're family, but you always make things difficult for everyone.] I pressed the power button and turned off my phone. I didn't want the pathetic guest access anymore.