To Each Our Own Winter

After Dad’s affair, Mom began sprinkling flour into his underwear every day. “That way, it’s clean, and I can see the truth,” she murmured. Her face was deathly pale. Dad always stood by the bed with his head lowered, letting her do as she pleased. When he left the bedroom, he would catch my worried gaze and give me a gentle smile. “Ellie, your mom’s sick. She’s just playing a game with me.” However, that day, Dad was leaving for an out-of-town business trip. While packing, he quietly pulled out the flour-dusted pair and replaced it with a clean one. The moment Mom saw it, she snapped. She rushed over and grabbed his suitcase. “Why did you switch it?” she shrieked. “Are you going to see that divorced receptionist from your company again? Even after I marked it with flour, you still want to fool around with her. Aren’t you afraid something will go wrong down there?” Dad stumbled as she tugged at him. At last, he shoved her away. “I’m going to the hot springs resort to meet a client. How am I supposed to show up like this? Can’t you stop being so paranoid all the time?” Mom staggered back into the wardrobe, and her tears instantly spilled out. “If you weren’t so desperate that you’d go after anyone, even a woman with a child, I wouldn’t be so paranoid.” Dad’s face flushed with anger. “At least Jocelyn’s child was her ex-husband’s, unlike you, who expected me to raise the spawn of the man who assaulted you. If I’d been pickier, I never would’ve married you!” A sudden clap of thunder cracked outside. Mom went still, and she slowly lowered her outstretched hand. I curled up in the corner of the couch as tears slid down my face. I knew then that Mom had truly reached her breaking point. Chapter 1 After he said that, Dad’s expression changed. He quickly covered my ears with both hands and said in an apologetic tone, “Ellie, don’t take it to heart. I got carried away just now and said things I didn’t mean.” His palms were hot against my ears, and everything he said sounded distant and muffled, like it was coming through water. I felt nothing. I just looked at Mom through the gaps between his fingers. Mom stood there perfectly still. She did not make a fuss. All she did was crouch down, pick up the underwear, fold it slowly, and place it in the laundry basket. Then, she picked up Dad’s train ticket from the coffee table and stared at it for a long time. When I saw the words “Westside Hot Springs Resort,” my mind reeled. Everything came flooding back in an instant. That was where I first caught Dad with the woman he was having an affair with. That day, Mom had brought me to the hot springs resort for my birthday. We changed into swimsuits and headed for the hot springs. As we passed the changing rooms, Mom suddenly stopped. She stared at the two pieces of clothing hanging on the door of the adjacent changing room—a man’s shirt and a woman’s dress. I recognized the shirt as Dad’s. There was a gold cufflink on the cuff, which was a birthday present from Mom. Low, ragged gasps echoed from the changing room. A man and a woman sounded like two wild beasts howling. Mom’s face instantly drained of color. I did not understand what was happening. Dad sounded like he was in pain, so I thought someone was hurting him. I ran over and pushed the door open, shouting, “Leave my dad alone!” However, all I found inside was a naked woman. She screamed as she covered herself and ran past me. Dad remained in the changing room. His face was deathly pale. Mom cried for a long time that day. When Dad came home, he impatiently accused Mom of making a mountain out of a molehill. I heard him say, “Back then, after everything that man did to you for three days and three nights, I still married you. Surely, you can put up with this now?” That night, Mom held me as we slept. Her tears never stopped. They soaked into my hair, feeling cool against my scalp. I thought she had fallen asleep, but her lips kept moving as she murmured broken phrases. I caught words like “not biologically related,” “assailant,” and “spawn.” I did not fully understand then, but I knew I probably was not Dad’s biological daughter. ‘So, you did not have to cover my ears, Dad,’ I thought. I had known all along. Something warm landed on the back of my hand. I looked up and realized it was one of Mom’s tears. Dad probably felt guilty when he saw the look on Mom’s face. He picked up his phone, stepped out onto the balcony, and made a call in a low voice. “Hey, Leonard, could you cover this business trip for me today? Something came up at home… What? She’s already there?” A woman’s sobs came from the other end of the line. Even through the phone, her cries were sharp and shrill. Dad’s expression changed. “I’ll be right there,” he said before hanging up. He rushed into the bedroom, grabbed his suitcase, and headed for the door. This time, Mom did not run after him. She simply crouched down and wiped away the tear on the back of my hand. “I’m sorry, Ellie. I wanted so badly to make this work. I wanted to give you a family.” She looked up, and her eyes were red with tears. “However, I’m exhausted. I just can’t keep holding on anymore.” Chapter 2 That night, Dad did not come home, and I somehow developed a high fever. Mom stayed by my side all night, changing the towel on my forehead and checking my temperature again and again. I heard her making a phone call. She was probably calling Dad. It rang for a long time, but no one answered. When dawn came, and my fever had not broken, Mom carried me to the hospital on her back. I rested against her. My eyelids felt heavy as if they had been filled with lead. In my half-conscious state, I heard a woman’s voice nearby. “Easy, sweetheart. Just bear with it a little longer. It’ll be over soon.” The voice sounded strangely familiar. I opened my eyes and saw three people standing outside the examination room next door. It was Dad, Jocelyn Rowe, and a boy who was half a head taller than me. The boy was holding up a finger wrapped in gauze, whining as he sought comfort. Dad had not noticed us. He was bent over, signing some paperwork. “Family of Ethan Rowe?” the doctor called. Dad looked up. His voice was quiet but clear. “I’m his father.” In that instant, it felt like someone had poured a bucket of cold water over me, jolting me fully awake. The moment Dad turned around, his eyes met mine, and he froze. Mom froze too. Her arms tightened around me. Jocelyn reacted first. She quickly put on a smile and came over. Her voice was soft but hurried. “Please don’t misunderstand, Mrs. Gardiner. Ethan threw a tantrum last night and ran away. We spent the whole night looking for him, and he hurt his hand. We only came to the hospital today to get it checked. I’m not familiar with this place, so I had no choice but to ask Jason for help.” Mom did not respond. She simply set me down and touched the back of her hand to my forehead to check my temperature. “Ellie, are you still feeling sick?” Before I could reply, someone rushed over and shoved me hard. I stumbled forward and hit my forehead against the armrest of a plastic chair in the hallway. Pain shot through me, and my vision darkened for a moment. Mom cried out in alarm. She pulled me into her arms and turned around. Ethan stood behind me, pointing at me with tears in his eyes. “You shameless brat! You’re stealing my dad!” Jocelyn screamed as she rushed over and grabbed the boy by the arm. A second later, she slapped herself across the face. One after another, the slaps rang out, sharp and loud. People in the hallway began looking over to see what was happening. Jocelyn cried as she slapped herself. Her makeup became a smeared mess. “It’s all my fault! It’s all my fault! Please don’t take Ethan’s words seriously, Mrs. Gardiner. He’s just a child and doesn’t know any better. He must’ve picked it up from watching TV. I’ll educate him properly when we get home!” Mom never spared her a glance. She carefully examined my forehead, and only after confirming the skin was not broken did she straighten up. Her gaze passed over Jocelyn and settled on Dad. Her eyes were calm and still as a lifeless pool. Dad shifted uncomfortably under Mom’s gaze and frowned. “That’s enough. Don’t give me that attitude. What’s done is done. Do you really have to make such a big deal out of it?” Jocelyn was still crying. In the middle of her sobs, she suddenly swayed and went limp. Then, she collapsed on the floor. Dad caught her just in time. Panic flashed across his face as he rushed her into the nearby examination room. The hallway fell silent. Ethan stood there, alone and forgotten. He glanced at me, then at the examination room door. His lips were pressed into a pout, and he ran inside after them. I was left in the hallway. At some point, Mom had let go of my hand. I looked up and saw her leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. “Mom?” She opened her eyes, looked down at me, and gently patted my head. “Let’s go home, Ellie.” “Aren’t we going to wait for the medicine?” I asked. “No. We’re leaving.” With that, she took my hand and led me away. As we passed the examination room, I heard the doctor’s voice from inside. “Congratulations, Miss Rowe. You’re pregnant. You’re almost three months along. The fainting spell was caused by emotional stress. Be sure to get plenty of rest.” Chapter 3 It all came back to me. The day we caught Dad in the changing room had been exactly three months ago. Mom tightened her grip on my hand. I looked up at her profile, but her expression remained as calm as ever. When she met Dad’s gaze, all she said was “Congratulations.” Then, she turned and led me away. “Wendy!” Dad called after her. Mom never slowed down. The whole way home, she did not say a single word. That evening, Dad came home. When he stepped into the living room, Mom was already sitting on the couch. Dad sat down across from her. His expression suddenly turned serious. “Wendy, we need to talk.” Mom said nothing. Dad let out a sigh. His voice softened as though he were soothing a child. “Jocelyn’s pregnant, and I want to keep the baby.” He paused and glanced at me before looking back at Mom. “You know what your body has been through. Carrying Ellie left lasting damage, and the doctor said you’ll never have another child. Jocelyn is carrying my only biological child. It’s not that I don’t feel for you, but you can’t be so selfish, can you?” From the bedroom doorway, I watched Mom. She was still seated on the couch. She sat with her back perfectly straight. Her hands were pressed so tightly against her knees that her knuckles had turned slightly pale. “As long as the baby is born safe and healthy, I’ll find a way to send Jocelyn and her son overseas. They won’t disrupt our lives anymore. You’ll still be my wife, and Ellie will still be my daughter. Nothing will change.” Dad’s eyes even lit up as he spoke, as though he believed he had made a tremendous concession and that Mom should thank him for it. Mom suddenly smiled. “Okay.” Dad froze, probably not expecting her to agree so readily. “Y-You’re agreeing to this?” Mom lowered her head, keeping her voice steady. “Yes. Take good care of her.” A smile slowly spread across Dad’s face; the weight on his shoulders finally lifted. He stood up, walked over, and gently patted my head. “Ellie, be a good girl. I’m going out for a little while. I’ll be back soon.” I stayed silent and watched him disappear through the doorway. Mom looked away from the door, then bent down and pulled a document from a drawer. It was a divorce agreement. She beckoned me over. “Ellie, come here.” I walked over and stood before her. She pulled me into her arms, rested her chin on my head, and gently rocked us. “I’ll take you somewhere new to live, okay?” I nodded. That night, we finally had a good night’s sleep. Early the next morning, Mom packed our bags and prepared to take me to the airport. However, the moment she opened the door, we ran straight into Dad. His expression twisted with fury as he slapped Mom across the face. “Wendy Sefton, how could you be so vicious? Jocelyn is carrying my child, and you had someone assault her?” Chapter 4 The slap left Mom completely dazed. She pressed a hand to her cheek as blood trickled from the corner of her mouth down her chin. “What’s gotten into you? When did I ever have someone assault her?” Dad seized my arm and dragged Mom and me out of the house. As I stumbled along behind him, my knee slammed into the doorframe. The impact sent a sharp pain through me. When we arrived at Jocelyn’s hospital room, the smell of blood hit me the moment the door opened. Jocelyn lay half-reclined on the bed. Her hair was disheveled, and her face was wet with tears. Her clothes were ripped in places, revealing bruised patches of skin beneath. The moment she saw Mom, she shrank back and screamed, “Don’t come any closer! Stay away from me! Don’t touch me, you monsters!” Dad stood in the doorway. His voice was strained as if every word was being forced out through clenched teeth. “Wendy, just because you can’t have children now, you can’t stand seeing someone else have one? Don’t you realize Jocelyn miscarried because of your jealousy?” Jocelyn cried even harder. Her shoulders trembled with each sob. A dark red patch stained her bedsheet. It was half-dried and already turning black. Dad’s voice grew louder, and his eyes were bloodshot with anger. “What did she do wrong? What did the baby do? Do you think Jocelyn is pure, so you wanted to make her just like you? That way, you wouldn’t feel so dirty anymore?” He stared at Mom as he enunciated each word slowly. “Wendy, when I look at you now, all I feel is disgust.” Mom’s lips quivered. She shook her head frantically. Her tears finally started falling. “I didn’t–” “You’re still making excuses!” Dad waved his hand, and the hospital door opened. A few men were shoved inside. There were three of them, all with bruised and swollen faces. One of them still had blood trickling from the corner of his eye. They crouched on the floor, not daring to raise their heads. Dad questioned them coldly. “You claimed a woman paid you to assault Jocelyn. Was she the one?” The ringleader looked up and quickly nodded. “Yes, it was her! She said that the woman was divorced and shameless. She told us we could do it and walk away, and nothing would happen.” The other two nodded along. Their movements were so synchronized that it looked rehearsed. Mom’s face was drained of color. I tore myself free from Dad’s grasp and threw myself in front of Mom. My face was streaked with tears. “Mom was with me all night. She never went out. You’re lying! You’re all bad people!” Dad’s expression darkened even further. “Wendy, you actually had the nerve to teach Ellie to lie. Looks like I’ll have to teach you a lesson!” He nodded toward the men. “Take her to the room next door. Do to her what you did to Jocelyn.” My mind went blank. Then, Dad added indifferently, “After all, she’s been through this before. She already knows what to expect.” The thugs stood up and walked toward Mom. She looked as if she had already lost all hope. She shoved me away and shouted, “Ellie, close your eyes!” However, this time, I did not listen. I watched as those men grabbed Mom by the arm and dragged her away. “Mom! Mom!” I ran after them, but Dad grabbed me by the back of my collar and lifted me like a helpless little chick. The door to the next room closed behind them. I crumpled outside the door, sobbing uncontrollably as I pounded on it until my hands bled. “Please, I’m begging you! Don’t touch my mom!” There was no response from inside. I turned to look for Dad and found him standing at the other end of the hallway with his back to me. At some point, Jocelyn had come out of her room. She was nestled in his arms. Dad’s arm was around her waist. His touch was gentle. In the next moment, a heavy thud came from inside the room, like something massive had been dropped from above. Then came a wave of screams. The door to the next room suddenly flew open. One of the thugs rushed out. His pants were still unfastened, and his voice was high and distorted with fear. “Someone’s dead! That woman jumped!”