I Was Punished for Flunking

When I suffered from major depressive disorder, my academic performance plummeted. When my mother saw the big red 'F' on my exam paper, she was so furious that she tied my hands behind my back and threw me into the fish pond. “I scrimped and saved to send you to tutoring classes, and this is how you repay me? “Stop with this depression nonsense! You’re just being dramatic. You need a wake-up call. Stay in that pond until you come to your senses!” The weather was cold, and the water was freezing. I was never a good swimmer, so I could only beg for mercy. My mother, however, ignored my pleas. She forcibly dragged my father away to attend my cousin’s college send-off party. The waterweed wrapped around my feet and pulled me under. I decided to stop struggling. “Mom, I’m sorry I couldn’t be the perfect student you keep hoping for. Maybe you’ll be relieved to be rid of me.” Chapter 1 “Mom, please let me out of the pond. I’m really scared...” I was standing unsteadily in the pond. My feet had sunk into the muddy bottom, and the water reached my chest. My mother’s face was red with rage as she pointed and shouted at me, “Oh, so now you’re scared? You should’ve thought about that before you flunked! “I work all day, then come home at night to help your father feed the fish. I skip meals and wear the same old clothes just to pay for your tutoring classes. Is this how you thank me?” She went on about all her sacrifices, as though every misfortune in her life was my fault. I opened my mouth to speak, but the freezing air hit my lungs, and I started hacking. “Did the cat get your tongue? You always go silent when I scold you. You know you’re wrong, so you’ve got nothing to say now, right?” She was talking so fast. I could not get a word in. “What did I do to deserve such a stupid kid?” She slapped her palm against her forehead. Her eyes were bloodshot. I could not tell whether it was from anger or self-pity. “Back in my day, if I had half the chances you’ve been given, I’d be at an Ivy League school by now. I wouldn’t be working myself to the bone. You had everything handed to you, and you blew it all?” I protested weakly, “Mom, I stay up late studying every single night. I’m really trying...” “Don’t give me that nonsense!” She scoffed and looked at me with contempt. “I bet you were up all night glued to your phone. You’ve always been a pro at putting on a pathetic act. “Listen, on the day you turn eighteen, you’re on your own. I’d like to see what kind of future you’ll have when you can’t even get into college.” “Mom, please stop pushing me...” I was shivering from the cold. “Maybe I’m really just not cut out for school. I could get a job instead...” I finally got the courage to say what I had been holding back for so long. Just then, the neighbor, Zoey, was drawn over by the commotion. She gasped when she saw me in the pond. “Good grief! It’s freezing cold. How could you let her just sit in that water? “Get her out of there. She just flunked her test once! That doesn’t make her a bad kid. You’re going to break her if you keep this up!” My mother became even madder. She yelled at Zoey, “Mind your own business! Are you hoping she flunks school for you to have a good laugh at my expense? Get lost!” Zoey’s face turned pale, then flushed with embarrassment. She shook her head, sighed, and walked off. At that point, my father walked over and said hesitantly, “Look, maybe just let her come inside. We still need to catch Belle’s college send-off party.” My mother rolled her eyes at him, then turned back to me and continued yelling, “Look at your cousin. She got into an Ivy League school. Her parents are so proud of her! Meanwhile, look at what you got? Are you doing this on purpose just to spite me? Stay in that pond until you come to your senses!” My father said reluctantly, “What if she catches something from this? She’s still young. We could’ve just sat her down and had a talk—” My mother cut him off sharply. “This is all your fault! You coddle her constantly, and now, she has zero sense of responsibility. If she had even an ounce of gratitude, she never would’ve flunked such a test.” My father fell silent. He had no strength to argue. In the end, my mother still dragged him away. Once they were out of sight, I tried to crawl back onto the bank. My hands, however, were tied behind my back, which made moving difficult. Suddenly, I felt my calf cramp. That sharp burst of pain made me lose my balance. I accidentally inhaled several mouthfuls of water. I lost my footing entirely and fell headfirst into the pond. Waterweed tangled tightly around my ankles. The more I thrashed, the tighter it gripped, and I began to suffocate. Just as my vision was getting dark, some memories flashed before my eyes. It was 1 a.m.. I had been so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. My mother had jabbed my thigh hard with a sewing needle. The sting had jolted me awake. She had looked at me with a smile. “Tristy, no pain, no gain. Snap out of it and continue studying.” She brewed me strong coffee and bought all kinds of nutritional supplements. She looked at me with so much expectation that I felt suffocated. I knew she had high hopes for me. Getting into high school had already exhausted me. I was halfway through senior year and felt completely burned out. As my energy slowly drained from my body, a strange sense of calm took its place instead. Perhaps if I just let myself sink, I could finally be free... Mom, I’m sorry I can’t be the perfect student you keep hoping for. You have sacrificed so much for me. Maybe you would be relieved to be rid of me, too. The water swallowed me whole, and everything faded into darkness and silence. Chapter 2 Belle’s college send-off party brimmed with excitement and celebration. My mother kept piling food onto Belle’s plate. I never received such a loving, proud smile on her face before. “Look at Belle. She’s actually going somewhere. That’s how a kid should turn out!” My father sat nearby. He ate mechanically without any appetite. From time to time, his gaze kept wandering to the pitch-black window. When he found the right opportunity, he said to my mother, “I wonder if Tristy has gotten out of that pond yet. I’m a little worried about her.” My mother’s expression darkened when she heard this. “Forget about her. She needs to learn this the hard way, or she’ll never learn. Without good education, she’ll never succeed in life.” My father frowned and fell silent, but he was still worried. He made an excuse to step out to the balcony for a cigarette, then quietly pulled out his phone and looked for Zoey’s number. “Zoey, is Tristy—” Before he could finish, my mother appeared behind him. She snatched the phone from his hand and hung up immediately. “What are you doing? Are you giving in that fast? If we let this slide, she’ll only get worse. She’ll walk all over you. Can you man up for once and be a father?” My father looked at her fierce and unyielding expression. He opened his mouth to speak, but in the end, he only let out a weary sigh. My soul floated in the air and watched their expressions. At that point, I felt nothing. After all, to my mother, the only thing that counted was test scores. Nothing else ever mattered to her. The next morning, my parents came home to an empty house. “Where is she?” My mother frowned and paced through the rooms. She said irritably, “She must’ve flunked another test and got too embarrassed to come home. She’s probably hiding at some classmate’s house. This is just getting ridiculous!” My father frowned and pulled out his phone to call me. He only got the automated message saying my phone was turned off. He called several classmates I was relatively close with. They all replied the same thing, either “I haven’t seen her,” or “She didn’t contact me”. My father’s expression gradually darkened. He walked quickly next door and knocked on Zoey’s door. “Tristy? No, I haven’t seen her. Wait, I thought you brought her back home already.” My father felt agitated. Did she... run away? My mother paced back and forth in the living room. Her voice grew louder as she said, “She’s been gone for a whole day and night! That’s so much catching up to do. It’s senior year! Every single day counts! Is she trying to give me a heart attack?!” My father grabbed his coat, barely suppressing his pent-up anger. “I’m heading out to find her. When she comes home, just... don’t scold her, alright? Talk to her nicely.” My mother seemed to get even more upset by his words. She yelled, “Talk to her nicely? This is why you’re such a pushover. Look what you’ve turned her into! “If you had bothered to actually help her with her schoolwork instead of spending all your time out fishing, she wouldn’t be failing like this! Now, you want to play the good cop?” He clenched his fists tightly. They were one word away from a screaming match. I subconsciously put my hands over my ears. In the past, they would argue for two hours. To my surprise, my father held back. He slammed the door shut and stepped outside. He walked toward the pond and lit a cigarette. His gaze drifted absently over the calm water’s surface. His fingers holding the cigarette froze still. His eyes locked onto a certain spot. He murmured to himself in a soft, hesitant voice, “She couldn’t be... down there at the bottom... could she?” Chapter 3 I hovered beside him and screamed with all my might, “Dad, I’m right here. I’m right down here!” But he could no longer hear me. He rolled up his pant legs and was about to step into the fish pond when his phone rang. The moment he answered, my mother’s hysterical sobs came through. “Felix, get back here now! This is a disaster. Not only did she fail in math, but she has also been seeing some boy behind our backs. Did she run away with him?” My father’s expression changed drastically when he heard this. “Hold on. I’m on my way. Don’t panic.” He spun around and sprinted for home. I screamed after him, but he did not stop. The moment he stepped through the door, he saw the mess all over the floor. My backpack had been dumped upside down. Books, notebooks, and stationery were scattered everywhere. My mother clutched a piece of pink paper in her hand. She tossed it violently at my father’s chest. “Read it. Someone mailed a love letter here. Do you finally see why she’s failing? Her head has been completely wrapped up in this nonsense.” My father picked up the letter and skimmed through it quickly with a frown. “Calm down. It’s only a letter. It even says right here that she turned him down. Don’t jump to conclusions.” My mother pointed at him harshly. “I knew something was off with her! Last month, she went behind my back and bought lipstick. What does a girl need lipstick for unless she’s trying to get some guy’s attention?” I cried, but no tears came. It had been a dry autumn day. My lips had cracked and were bleeding so badly that I used my saved-up allowance to buy a clear lip balm. Since I was little, my mother had never allowed me to own anything colorful. “A girl who dresses up too much is just asking for trouble.” My hair had always been cut short like a boy’s. The only hairpin I owned was black, but it was so old that the paint had chipped off. I only wore hand-me-downs from Belle. I believed my mother had my best interests at heart, so I never once thought to go against her. But every year, she gave Belle beautiful dresses, sparkling hair clips, and all kinds of skincare products whose names I did not even know. She would always pat my cousin on the head and say with a smile, “Belle, you’re pretty and smart, unlike Tristy. If I don’t keep an eye on her, she’s going to get played by some guy before she even knows what hit her.” I thought I had been obedient enough. Why did she have to destroy even the smallest shred of my dignity? Did bad grades really make me worthless, through and through? My father’s expression grew darker by the second. He looked at my mother, who was acting like she had lost her mind, and spoke to her in a low, measured tone. “Stop throwing things! If you break something, we can replace it. But if you make yourself sick from all this rage, what then?” “What then? I’ve been sick for years.” The words cut straight through her, and she burst into loud, anguished sobs. “I was five months pregnant with our son. She left her toys on the floor, and I slipped. I lost the baby, and they had to take my uterus. I can never have another child ever again!” She pounded the floor with her fists. Her face was streaked with tears and snot. “It’s all her fault! She’s nothing but a jinx.” My father frowned and gently tried to reason with her, “She was only two years old back then. What did she know? That was an accident. You can’t pin that on a toddler.” My mother shot back hysterically, “If it wasn’t her, then who? Me? Do you think I chose to lose our son?” Tears fill her eyes with years of pent-up resentment. “She owes us that much. She has to be exceptional. Otherwise, how could she ever make it up to the little brother who never even got to be born?” My father had no idea my mother’s resentment went that deep. He could only let out a sigh. “That was ages ago. Just drop it.” I watched her weep bitterly and felt a dull ache in my chest. So, that was it. No wonder she had always looked like she resented me. I was the one responsible for her losing her son and her wish to have another child. An overwhelming wave of grief and disbelief washed over me. I owed her a life. I was not outstanding enough, nor had I lived up to all her expectations. I lowered my head in silence. There were no tears, but only a deep, hollow ache in my chest. So, was this finally me giving that life back to her? Chapter 4 After I was missing for two days, my homeroom teacher, Mr. Read, called. My mother answered the phone agitatedly. “She flunked her test, so I gave her a piece of my mind. She threw a fit and ran off. I was actually about to ask you which boys in her class she’s close with? Do you think she crashed at one of their houses?” On the other end of the line, Mr. Read briefly paused in surprise. “Mrs. Cardenas, all the other students are here in class today, and no one knows anything about Tristy’s situation. Right now, the priority is bringing her home safely.” My mother grew displeased. She raised her voice and said irritably, “I’ll tell you what I want to know! Why didn’t you warn me her grades were dropping? Now, you’re deflecting my questions about who she’s hanging out with. Are you intentionally out to get Tristy?” Mr. Read was momentarily taken aback. After he pondered for a few seconds, he responded in a cool, firm tone, “Mrs. Cardenas, I get that you’re worried sick about Tristy being missing, but please don’t make baseless accusations. If the school needs to step in, we’re prepared to assist you in filing a police report.” “File a report? Once this gets around the whole school, she’ll never be able to show her face again!” My mother added angrily, “You, get out there and find her right now. If you don’t bring her back, I’m calling the school to file a complaint against you. I don’t even know what you’ve been teaching her! You didn’t even notice she was seeing someone behind our backs!” My father quickly grabbed the phone from her hand and said apologetically, “Mr. Read, I’m really sorry. We’re both pretty shaken up right now. Could you please ask around with her classmates and see if anyone has heard from Tristy?” After hanging up on Mr. Read, my mother kept cursing under her breath. She finished trashing the school and every single teacher, and then she swung right back around to my father. My father ran his fingers through his hair agitatedly and muttered to himself, “What if something bad happened to her? She has never just disappeared like this.” He thought for a moment, then slammed the door again and walked out. I silently followed behind him, praying in my heart that he would find me soon. He wandered over to the fish pond, and then his gaze locked onto something. A white canvas shoe was floating beside the waterweed. He held his breath and stared fixedly at the shoe. “That’s Tristy’s shoes... It can’t be...” His voice trembled as he murmured, “If she really ran away from home, why would she leave without her shoes...?” He dropped everything and rolled up his pants. He got ready to wade into the water to get a closer look. “Felix, what are you standing around for?” My mother’s voice came from behind him. My uncle, Jack, his wife Marie, and Belle stood not far away. “Belle is here. Hurry up and pull out a bigger fish so we can have an extra dish!” Belle skipped over to the bank and picked up the long-handled scoop net that had been set aside. “Aunt Fiona, can I give it a try? This looks like so much fun!” She giggled as she stuck the net into the water and stirred it around randomly. The scoop net hit something hard. With a splash, a dark object floated on the water surface. Belle leaned in curiously for a closer look. The smile on her face instantly froze. “Wait, that’s not a fish. That’s a pair of glasses.” My father saw the glasses. He panicked, and his face turned deathly pale in an instant. Those were my glasses. Just then, Jack also picked up another, larger scoop net. “Here, let me try.” He lowered the net into the same area where Belle had just been scooping. He pulled hard, but it felt unusually heavy. “Whoa. What is this thing?” His face turned red from straining. He and Marie pulled together with all their might, but the net did not budge at all. “Man, this is heavy. It feels like a sack of something. It’s got to be a good eighty or ninety pounds at least!” “Eighty or ninety pounds...?” My father’s mind went blank as a terrible premonition washed over him. He stumbled toward the water’s edge. His entire body trembled uncontrollably.