Walked Away Before Saying I Do

When the SAT scores were released, the highest-scoring student in the state, Eva Long, had earned a 1590. During an interview with a local news station, a reporter asked her how she had done it. Eva's lips curved into a knowing smile. "My secret? My sister and her ex. They're both brilliant, and they have enough romantic drama between them to fill an entire TV series. They've been academic rivals since high school, always competing for the top grades. Even after they broke up, they still argued over who got to tutor me. Honestly, I owe my score to both of them." Once the interview aired, people immediately started digging into Bethany Long and Charles Hicks. They were both attractive, brilliant, and apparently perfect for each other. Before long, the internet was obsessed with them. Strangers were begging them to get back together. I was Charles's actual girlfriend. And all I could do was watch everyone celebrate his supposed love story with someone else. On my birthday, Charles and Bethany got so caught up arguing over a practice question that neither of them noticed I was still on the phone. I sat there listening while the candles burned down and the frosting on my cake began to melt. When Bethany needed a new SAT study plan, they shut themselves inside a hotel suite for three days to work on it. That same weekend, I underwent emergency appendix surgery alone and eventually passed out from the pain. On the day I was supposed to try on wedding dresses, Charles abandoned me again. "I promised Eva that Beth and I would take her on a trip after the SAT," he said. "She's still young, so try to be understanding." This time, I had no intention of arguing. I ended the call, took off the wedding dress, and told the consultant I wouldn't be needing it after all. Then I canceled the wedding. I had been doing everything alone for years, anyway. There was nothing wrong with finally admitting I was on my own. Chapter 1 Every other bride in the boutique had brought her fiancé. I was the only one there alone. The bridal consultant looked genuinely disappointed. "Ms. Graham, are you sure you want to return the dress? It looks beautiful on you." According to the contract, canceling the order meant losing half my deposit. I didn't hesitate. "I'm sure. Sorry for the inconvenience." Before I left, she said, "I'm sorry we won't get to see everything come together, but I still wish you and your fiancé a lifetime of happiness." I gave her a calm smile. "Thank you, but unfortunately, he's dead." I ignored her stunned expression and walked out of the boutique. Once I was outside, I opened the photo gallery on my phone and deleted every picture of myself in the wedding dress. I had handled the entire wedding planning process alone for the past three months, including every dress fitting. From the original design to the choice of fabric, I personally compared every option, right down to the smallest bead and crystal. The dress went through more than a dozen revisions, and I sent Charles Hicks photos after every fitting. His responses were never more than a few words. [Looks good.] [I'm busy. You decide.] [Eva needs help with a practice problem. We'll talk later.] If that was all he had to say, then calling him dead wasn't far from the truth. Once, after finally losing my patience, I called him. Charles apologized right away and, for once, gave me detailed feedback on the latest photos of the dress. Then Bethany Long's voice cut in from the background. "Look, Charles. I told you my method was faster. You lost the bet, so pay up!" Charles let out a helpless laugh. "Alright, alright. You're always right." Eva Long giggled in the background. "If you two keep acting like this, I'm seriously going to start rooting for you to get back together." She said it loudly enough that I could hear every word. I told Charles before that Eva's constant jokes about him and Bethany getting back together made me uncomfortable, but he only laughed it off. "She's just a kid messing around. Don't read so much into it. Trust me, I'm more interested in a math problem than I am in my ex." But as I listened to Charles and Bethany laugh and bicker so naturally, humiliation burned through me. Charles was still laughing when the call abruptly ended. We had been on the phone for barely a minute, and I had spoken for maybe ten seconds. The rest of the call had been the two of them bantering as if I weren't even there. I stared at the wedding dress photos I had taken with so much excitement and realized that getting married no longer felt all that important. Back in the present, I opened my messages and texted Charles. [When are you coming home?] [I want to talk about the wedding.] Before I could send the second message, his reply appeared. [Seriously? I already told you I'm taking Eva on a graduation trip. Stop acting like there's something going on.] A moment later, he called, his voice tight with barely restrained irritation. "Eva finally made it through the SAT. She wants to relax and have some fun. Don't ruin this for her." Bethany leaned closer to the phone, laughing. "Julia, don't get the wrong idea. We're only taking Eva on a trip. Charles and I practically killed ourselves helping her study, so we thought we deserved a break too. Besides, you have nothing to worry about. He's not nearly smart enough for me." Charles let out an incredulous laugh and moved the phone away from her. "Oh, really? Who spent all four years of high school throwing a fit because she could never beat me for the top spot?" "Please! I always crushed you in reading and writing." "Hey, what are you doing? Stop rubbing sunscreen on my arm!" Once again, they started bickering before I could get a single word in. Chapter 2 I hung up without saying a word. Was I really the one ruining everyone's fun? Charles and I had planned to fly overseas for our engagement photo shoot. I was so excited that I could barely sleep. For three months, I worked late almost every night to finish my project ahead of schedule so I could take the time off. My message thread with the photography team alone was long enough to fill a book. Just before we boarded the plane, Bethany called because she couldn't solve a practice problem. She had countless other ways to get help, but Charles still dropped everything and left. We rarely had the chance to travel alone, and there I was, stranded at the airport with two large suitcases. Out of 365 days a year, he spent 358 of them wrapped up in Bethany's life because they were tutoring Eva. Even the seven days he had promised me were taken away. I stayed at the airport until that evening, apologizing over and over to the furious photographers and the coworkers whose schedules I had rearranged. By the time I finally sent everyone home, my face hurt from forcing a smile. Between cancellation penalties, travel expenses, and lost income, I was out thousands of dollars. I never wanted to experience that kind of humiliation again. Without hesitating, I called the remaining wedding vendors and the hotel. "Please cancel everything." There was a lot involved in calling off a wedding. Fortunately, I had planned every detail myself, so dismantling it all didn't take long. Two days later, Bethany posted an update on Instagram from an account called BethLovesChips. [Just two thirty-somethings trying to survive a day of babysitting!] She even tagged Charles's old account, Chip, in the post. Chip had been his nickname since high school, which made her username read like some kind of public confession. Charles claimed he had forgotten the password to that account after they broke up, so he could no longer log in and change the username. Bethany followed me using that account as soon as Charles and I started dating. She began posting carefully staged photos designed to get under my skin. A carefully cropped glimpse of Charles's forearm. His back as he tilted his head up to drink… I knew Eva was with them, but the posts still made my stomach twist. This time, Bethany went even further and posted a clear picture of herself with Charles. The post included a short video of them losing a game and getting drenched with water as punishment. The moment the water hit, Bethany screamed and threw her arms around Charles. She pressed herself against him, leaving no space between them. Charles didn't push her away. Instead, he turned his back to the camera, shielding her soaked clothes from view. Whenever he was with me, he never wanted to play games. Even at a simple balloon-shooting booth at a carnival, he would start lecturing me about probability. "Assuming the balloons are evenly spaced, and each shot has a thirty percent chance of hitting one, the odds of making five shots in a row and winning the prize are less than half a percent. Instead of wasting time on this, you could help me find more study materials for Eva." But in the video, Charles was smiling more brightly than I had ever seen him smile with me. Apparently, spending time with Bethany was never a waste. In the background, Eva shouted dramatically, "Beauty and the Geek, just get back together already!" Ever since Eva's interview went viral, people online had been trying to identify the two tutors behind the state's top SAT score. They eventually found Bethany's account, and the comments immediately filled with people rooting for her and Charles to get back together. Bethany never responded. She simply liked every comment saying they belonged together. Just then, the front door lock beeped. Charles walked in, rolling his suitcase behind him, his skin noticeably tanned from the trip. After dropping his bags by the door, he came straight over and buried his face in the crook of my neck. "Did you miss me?" The smell of perfume clinging to him made me pull away. It was the same heavy, overpowering fragrance Bethany always wore. Nausea rose in my throat. Every time he came home after spending time at Bethany's house, he smelled like her perfume. When I pulled away, Charles gave a soft laugh. "What's wrong? Are you upset because you didn't get to see me for a few days?" He reached into his suitcase and pulled out a small silver ornament. "I brought you something. Beth picked it out as a wedding gift." He handed it to me with a faint smile. "She said doves mate for life and represent lasting love. See? You've had her wrong this whole time." I turned the ornament over in my hand. Two doves had been engraved across the silver surface, flying in opposite directions. A humorless laugh escaped me. "Did you even look at this?" He frowned. "What do you mean?" I held it up between us. "These birds aren't flying together. They're flying away from each other. This isn't a symbol of lasting love. It looks more like a breakup gift." Chapter 3 Charles frowned. "It's just a gift. Do you really have to read that much into it? Beth was trying to be nice. Her intentions matter more than what direction the birds are facing." Charles had always been stubborn and overly literal. Back in high school, he once argued so relentlessly during a debate tournament that his opponent ended up in tears. Now, with the evidence right in front of him, he still accused me of reading too much into it just so he could defend Bethany. This wasn't the first time. Before Eva took the SAT, her school held a fall bonfire for seniors and their families. Everyone was writing down their hopes for the future and tossing the notes into the flames. Bethany decided that wasn't meaningful enough. She pulled the bracelet off Charles's wrist and threw it into the fire, claiming that a wish only counted if you were willing to sacrifice something you loved. It was one of the matching bracelets Charles and I had bought on our first anniversary. We had picked them out at a small jewelry store during a trip to a ski town. On our way home that same day, an avalanche swept across the road and buried us beneath the snow. Charles was dangerously close to hypothermia, but he kept me pressed against his chest and shielded me with his body. By the time rescuers reached us, he was barely conscious, yet he was still whispering that he loved me. After that, the bracelet that had survived the avalanche with us felt like a part of me. Whenever Charles and I fought, the bracelet seemed to burn against my wrist. It always took me back to that winter and reminded me of everything good he had once done for me. I thought it meant just as much to him. And yet, he dismissed it as though it had never mattered. "It was just a cheap bracelet. Beth was just trying to make her wish count. I'll replace it with something better. There's no reason to turn this into a whole thing." This time, I didn't even have the energy to argue. "I think we should break…" Before I could finish, his phone rang. He answered it and walked toward the balcony. Eva's excited voice carried through the quiet room. "Charles, where are you? Why aren't you here yet? Just between us, Beth looks really hot tonight. If you don't hurry, some guy's gonna swoop in!" Charles glanced at me instinctively and frowned. "Cut it out." But he was already reaching for his jacket and car keys. "Beth planned a party to celebrate Eva's SAT score. She really wants me there." He paused before adding, "Don't make it into something it's not. A few of my friends will be there too. You know all of them." But there was no way not to read into it. Bethany had used Eva as an excuse to organize more get-togethers than I could count. Whenever Eva raised her score on a practice test, earned the highest grade in a subject, or even got her wisdom teeth removed, Bethany found some reason to celebrate. Charles hated socializing and always said it drained him. Whenever I asked him to have dinner with my friends or coworkers, he could never be bothered to come. Yet he never missed one of Bethany's ridiculous parties. I had always trusted him, so I chose to ignore it. This time, I stopped him. "I'm coming with you." I wanted to see for myself why everyone was so obsessed with the idea of my fiancé and his ex getting back together. I could treat it as the final chapter of our five-year relationship. Charles froze, clearly surprised that I volunteered. But after our earlier argument, he didn't try to stop me. When we arrived at the bar, Bethany and Eva were sitting in the middle of the group. Bethany wore a backless burgundy dress. The moment she saw me, she greeted me as casually as if we were close friends. "Oh, hey, Julia! Eva was just messing around earlier. Don't take her seriously. She made it sound like I'm still obsessed with Charles." Charles led me to an open seat, then immediately started trading sarcastic remarks with Bethany. A few minutes later, Eva suggested a game of Truth or Dare. She was young, outgoing, and good at getting people to go along with her, so everyone quickly agreed. Bethany ended up with a dare. Her challenge was to answer two questions honestly. Eva glanced at me, then flashed a mischievous grin. "First question. What's your favorite thing about Charles?" Bethany answered without hesitation, "The little crescent-shaped birthmark low on his left hip. It turns pink when you kiss him there long enough." Chapter 4 The room erupted in suggestive laughter. When Bethany saw the color drain from my face, her smile turned smug. "Wait, Julia, you seriously don't know about that? Charles didn't know what he was doing when we first got together. I'm the one who taught him everything, so really, you should be thanking me…" I cut her off. "Are you done? Do you have to take a shot at me every chance you get?" As I reached for my glass, my hand clipped the bottle in front of me. It tipped over, spilling across the table and splashing Bethany's dress. She shot to her feet with a shriek. "My dress!" She looked at me as if I had done it on purpose. "I was just joking! Everyone here knows that's just how I am. But throwing things at me because you can't take a joke is completely out of line." Without hesitating, Charles took off his jacket and laid it across Bethany's lap. It was a limited-edition jacket I had saved for months to buy. I had searched all over the city before finally tracking one down. He frowned at me. "It was a joke. Do you have to take everything so personally? Everyone came here to have a good time. Stop ruining the mood." My chest tightened until I could barely breathe. Bethany started the whole thing, yet somehow I was the one being blamed. Charles's friends immediately jumped in. "If you can't take a joke, then leave. Why are you sitting there glaring at everyone?" "Charles, I thought you said no one was bringing their girlfriend tonight. She's always the one killing the mood. She clearly doesn't fit in with us, but she keeps forcing her way into everything." Eva took a sip of her drink, wearing an innocent smile as she delivered the insult. "Come on. Some people get insecure when they're not used to being around successful people. When you somehow land a guy like Charles, I guess it makes sense to keep him on a short leash." She turned back to Bethany. "Okay, next question. What's the sweetest thing Charles ever said to you?" This time, tears suddenly filled Bethany's eyes. She looked straight at Charles and said, her voice trembling, "He told me he'd marry me." I instinctively turned toward the man beside me, but something sparkling beneath the table caught my eye. It was the rhinestones on Bethany's heel. Hidden beneath the table, she had lifted her foot and was slowly running it up the leg of Charles's dress pants. Charles didn't stop her. His expression didn't change at all. Nausea surged into my throat. I covered my mouth, hurried to the restroom, and dry-heaved over the sink. After wiping the tears from the corners of my eyes, I walked out of the bar without looking back. I didn't have much to pack. Everything I owned fit into a single suitcase. I had just zipped it shut when the front door flew open. Charles stood in the doorway, out of breath, panic written across his face. For one foolish second, I thought he had come back for me. Instead, he grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet, his expression ice-cold. "Did you make that post?" "What post?" Charles shoved his phone in front of my face. A local gossip account had posted: [Top SAT Scorer's Sister Caught in Messy Love Triangle]. The post had already climbed to the top of the local trending page, with thousands of comments underneath. I glanced at it and shook my head. "It wasn't me." Charles gave a humorless laugh, his voice rising. "You're still denying it? No one knows more about Beth and me than you do. Who else could have posted it? Do you have any idea what people are saying about her online? She's falling apart! What did she ever do to deserve being framed like this?" Framed? Most of the top comments were accusing me of being the other woman, with Eva leading the attack. Only a handful of people were criticizing Bethany. Did he honestly not see that, or did he simply not care? I forced the words out. "Look at the comments. Most of them are attacking me." Charles acted as if he hadn't heard me. "Apologize to Beth." That was the last straw. "Are you blind, or do you just not care?!" I screamed. "I'm the one they're tearing apart online! Me!" Charles froze, but the accusation was already out of his mouth. "Are you really that desperate to get married? Are you so scared no one else will want you that you'd do something this disgusting just to force me into it?" My throat tightened until I could barely breathe. So that was what he truly thought of me. All this time, I was the only one looking forward to our wedding. "Fine. I did it. I'm so desperate to marry you that I'll do anything. Is that what you wanted to hear?" His only answer was the deafening slam of the door. My eyes burned, but no tears came. I pulled my suitcase into the elevator. As it carried me down, something inside me finally went still. Once I was on the train, I saw Bethany's latest Instagram post. [I was having a rough night, so he drove across town to get tacos from our favorite place near our old high school. Nothing beats having someone who always shows up for you.] Charles's watch was visible in the corner of the photo. As the train pulled away from the station, a message appeared on my phone. [Apologize to Beth, and the wedding can still happen as planned.] I didn't respond. I blocked him on the spot. It didn't matter. I had stopped wanting to marry him a long time ago. I would be just fine without him. - Julia Graham remained silent until the night before the wedding. Charles refused to reach out first, convinced she would eventually give in. He even planned to keep his groomsmen at the hotel and arrive late to the venue the next morning, just to make her panic and teach her a lesson. Instead, one of them called him first and immediately started yelling. "Charles, what the hell is going on? You canceled the wedding and didn't bother telling any of us! Are you messing with us?"