The Butler Is Forcing My Son To Marry His Daughter

Our butler, Cal Pinkham, was determined to marry his daughter off to some rich young heir and have him take her family name. So, when my nearsighted son, Christopher Settle, who was working on his PhD, accidentally glanced at his daughter one too many times, Cal somehow convinced himself that Christopher had fallen for her. His daughter was forty, unemployed, and still needed her food blown cool and spoon-fed to her at meals. Even so, Cal kept trying to parade her in front of me like a prize whenever the opportunity presented itself. “Becky looks like the cutest little piglet when she eats. She’s absolutely adorable. I took pictures. Here, take a look. You wouldn’t understand the joy of having a daughter, not when you only have a son. These days, daughters are the ones who actually show up for their parents when they get old. “But don’t you worry. As long as your son takes my family’s last name, gives us a $100,000 wedding gift, and agrees that their children must have our last name too, I’ll even let my precious little girl look after you in your golden years too.” I shoved his hand away in disgust and immediately called the agency to find me a reliable replacement butler. Before I could find a suitable replacement, the $15,000 designer necklace I had bought for Christopher suddenly went missing. I confronted Cal about it. He answered without a hint of guilt. “Oh, I took it. We’re practically family now. Anything you buy for Christopher will belong to Becky sooner or later anyway. I just cashed it in early and used the money to buy your future daughter-in-law a car, so she won’t have to ride around on that scooter anymore in the rain or cold. Christopher would never stand for seeing her like that.” He waggled his eyebrows at me, teasing as if we were sharing some private joke. I was so furious I nearly saw red. “Who cares about that overgrown pig you call a daughter?” Then, I picked up my phone and called the police. Chapter 1 When Diane Settle, my wife, saw that I was serious about calling the police, she quickly grabbed my hand and tried to talk me down. “Honey, calm down. Let’s talk this out. There’s no need to blow this out of proportion. If word of this gets out, it won’t just embarrass you and me. Christopher will be humiliated too.” I snapped at her furiously. “He tried to pawn off that useless daughter of his on my brilliant Christopher, and now, he’s stolen from us. If anyone is going to be humiliated, it’s him.” Cal Pinkham did not like that. He raised his voice and started shouting. “A PhD student like Christopher has spent so much time buried in books that his brain has turned to sawdust. That man has no charm at all. With what he has to offer, nobody on the dating market would want him. I was doing you a favor. “I only introduced my wonderful daughter to your family because you’re been treating me well over the years. Yet here you are, blind as a bat, looking down on Becky like your son is too good for her. “Let me tell you something. You shouldn’t look down on a butler’s daughter. A woman from my hometown works as a housekeeper, and her daughter is a bank president. Becky is just a late bloomer. When she comes into her own, she’ll be so amazing it’ll blow you away!” I actually laughed. “A late bloomer? She’s forty years old and halfway to the grave. What is she waiting for, retirement? At this rate, the only thing that will finally bloom is the mold on her headstone. Well, that would blow me away, all right.” Cal had worked for our family for years. He was always going on about his brilliant daughter. Every other word out of his mouth had something to do with “Becky”. One day, he said he was worried Becky could not take care of herself at home alone and asked if he could bring her over for a while. He assured me repeatedly that Becky would just play her games quietly and not cause any trouble. I assumed he had fathered a daughter late in life and had thought she was just a child, so I agreed. That day, I even went out of my way to buy snacks that kids liked. However, when Cal walked in with his daughter, I realized she was not a little girl at all, but a five-foot-three, two-hundred-pound, forty-year-old grown woman. After asking around, I learned that Becky had dropped out in eighth grade and never went back, choosing video games over school. She had been spoiled rotten her whole life. Forget holding down a job, at forty years old, she could not even scramble an egg. When she got hungry, she would just eat a sleeve of crackers. Her family was also flat broke. Her mother had a gambling problem. Every now and then, they had to move again to keep the debt collectors from showing up at their door. Chapter 2 My son, on the other hand, was tall and handsome. He had been an excellent student since childhood. He had earned his PhD from a top university. He was remarkably capable at work. I was waiting for him to gain a few more years of experience before handing my company over to him. What made Cal think that useless daughter of his was good enough for my exceptional son? Cal planted his hands on his hips, looking furious. “You’re just bitter because you couldn’t have a daughter of your own, so now you’re just putting Becky down for fun. Becky is devoted to her family. She’s capable. She just likes to play and never took her studies seriously, but she is brilliant. “She brings in the laundry when it rains. When I’m sick, she texts to check on me. She isn’t picky either. She eats whatever is put in front of her. When it comes to a daughter this wonderful, you could never produce one even if you tried. You’re just jealous! I could not be bothered to argue with someone like him. “It’s ridiculous that you think someone like her is good enough for Christopher. Pack your things and get out of my house.” Diane tried to talk me down in a low voice. “Good butlers are hard to find these days. You’re busy with work, and we can’t have no one taking care of the house. Could you just bear with it for a while, until we find a replacement?” Cal looked smug. I roared, “I refuse to believe that with all the people in this world, I can’t find one decent butler! Cal, you’re fired as of today. You’d better return Christopher’s necklace right now. Otherwise, I’ll call the police and have you rot in prison!” Good butlers really were hard to come by. Cal was quick, efficient, and kept the house spotless. More importantly, he had once worked as a chef, so his cooking was excellent. That was why I had made an exception and hired him as a butler. However, he talked too much. He constantly overstepped his bounds to lecture me. “A man can’t just bury himself in work and ignore his family. I was just like you back then. I worked myself to the bone making money and failed to keep an eye on my wife. That was why she cheated on me and picked up gambling. Now, she’s drowning in debt and too afraid to even come home.” At first, I actually felt sorry for him. I thought he was merely venting because his life had been so hard. I even tried to comfort him and tell him that it was his partner’s fault, not his. Gradually, he grew more and more brazen in his unsolicited advice. “If you don’t learn to cook, clean, and take care of your wife, don’t be surprised if your marriage falls apart.” After he had repeated this too many times, my patience ran out. “What about you? You cook. You clean. So, why did your marriage fall apart anyway?” Cal’s face darkened on the spot. “I was trying to warn you as someone who has lived through it. Why do you have to be so mean about it?” I snapped back, irritated. “So, you do know what being mean sounds like. So just stop talking.” That was when I first wanted to fire him. However, Diane said, “You’re being too hard on him. As long as he gets the job done, that’s what matters.” I figured she had a point. I was always busy with work and barely spent any time at home anyway, so I let it slide. However, he had dragged Christopher into his mess. That was where I drew the line. After I ordered him out, Cal angrily threw the stolen necklace onto the floor. “Fine! I’ll go! There are plenty of families out there who would kill to have me. I don’t need this job!” He slammed the door behind him. Even though I got the necklace back, I was still furious. Diane spent a long time calming me down and telling me not to waste my anger on someone like him. Work soon got busy again. Before long, I put the whole thing out of my mind. Thanksgiving came around before long. Christopher was coming home for the holiday. I cleared my schedule and stayed home. When I saw someone bustling around the house, I was just about to give a few instructions. At that moment, I realized the person was Cal, whom I had fired several days ago. I stared at him in confusion. “What are you doing here?” Cal, however, acted as if he were being magnanimous. He ignored my question entirely and rambled on his own. “I went home and told Becky what happened. Becky said we’re all family, so she wouldn’t hold it against you. She’s willing to forgive you. She even told me to be the bigger person. So, I’ve decided to forgive your rudeness from the other day too. I’ll continue helping around the house, but from now on, you’re not to insult my wonderful daughter again.” Chapter 3 I let out a furious snort. I thought. “The nerve of him. He steals from me and somehow, I’m the one being forgiven?” How magnanimous of him. “Get out. I will not have a thief in my house.” When Diane heard us arguing in the living room, she hurried out to stop me. “Honey, calm down. It was his first offense. Just give him one more chance. Besides, his wife walked out on him years ago. It couldn’t have been easy for a man to raise a daughter on his own. As a man yourself, don’t make things harder for another man.” I was furious that Diane kept taking his side. “If you feel that sorry for him, why don’t you just go marry him?” Diane’s expression darkened too. “I’m just asking you to stop coming at him so hard. Was that really necessary?” “Coming at him? After everything he has done, you still expect me to keep him here? I’m his employer. I pay him to take care of me and this house. I didn’t pay him to act like he owns the place and make me miserable in my own home!” “You are so arrogant. Do you really think money gives you the right to treat people however you want? Do you think having money gives you the right to trample all over someone else’s dignity?” I was about to lash out at Diane when Christopher walked through the door. I instantly reined in my temper and said through gritted teeth, “We’ll deal with this later.” Since Christopher had grown up, school and work kept him busy. He rarely had time to come home. I did not want to ruin Thanksgiving for him. Even more than that, I did not want him to realize that Diane and I were fighting and worrying about things at home while he was away building his career. So, I put on a smile and happily welcomed Christopher home. I thought if I just bit my tongue, Cal would learn to stay in his lane. Instead, he started acting up again. He replaced Christopher’s favorite beer with plain water and said, “Too much beer can mess with your sperm count. Nobody wants a man who can’t give them children. I’d like a lively house, so there had better be at least three kids.” Christopher’s expression stiffened slightly. Suppressing my anger, I sent Cal away. “I made Christopher’s favorite roast turkey. It’s in the kitchen. Go bring it out.” Christopher then cheerfully showed me his new sneakers. “I got these limited editions through a personal shopper. Aren’t they cool?” “Very cool!” I praised them enthusiastically. Just then, Cal came out carrying the turkey platter and made a face. “Just buy the cheapest pair next time. Everyone online says guys who spend that much money on shoes and clothes and care so much about how they look are girlie divas.” I was livid and ready to hurl insults, but Christopher gently shook my arm and said, “It’s okay, Dad. Don’t get worked up over someone who doesn’t matter. Check out what I brought you. They are souvenirs I picked up from my trip.” When he took them out, the price tags were still attached. They were all little handmade pieces, cute in their own way. More importantly, Christopher had chosen them carefully and brought them home for me, so I loved them. I was about to offer my praise when Cal suddenly let out a shrill cry. “Good heavens! A hundred-odd bucks for this piece of junk? I’d never take something like that even if you paid me, and you actually spent good money on it? “Christopher, you need to watch your spending. Every penny you waste is money that belongs to your future wife. If you keep blowing money like this, who in their right mind would marry someone as irresponsible as you? I had had enough. I roared, “Christopher can spend his money however he likes. I can afford to let him. Who asked for your opinion? I want you out now. Get out!” Cal’s face turned sour. Just then, the doorbell rang. Cal pursed his lips and said, “An important guest is here. I’ll let this slide for now.” An important guest? Christopher and I exchanged a look, then we both turned to Diane. Diane only shrugged, indicating that she knew nothing about it either. While we were still puzzled, Cal went to open the door. The person he ushered in was his two-hundred-pound daughter, Becky. Cal waved Christopher over. “Christopher, come here. Meet your future wife.” Christopher could no longer keep a straight face. He turned to me and asked, “Dad, what’s going on?” I was so furious that I grabbed the nearest thing and threw it at Cal. Chapter 4 “Who gave you permission to bring strangers into my house? Get out! All of you, get out!” Cal explained, “She is not a stranger. She is my daughter. We are family.” Diane reached out to stop me too. “It’s Thanksgiving. It’s cruel to throw people out on a holiday.” I finally ran out of patience to spare her dignity. “If you speak up for Cal one more time, you can get out with him!” Diane had no job and depended on me for support, yet she kept taking an outsider’s side. She had completely lost sight of who held the upper hand. Becky stepped in to smooth things over. “We’re all family. Let’s not fight.” Then, she turned to Christopher and practically drooled. “You look so grown-up today, but I still prefer you in that boyish, youthful style.” I frowned. Christopher looked completely baffled. “What?” Becky pulled out a photograph of Christopher and said with a giggle, “Out of all your pictures, this one is my favorite. I kiss it every night before bed so I can sleep well. Now, go and change into this outfit for me.” The photo in her hand was unmistakably one of Christopher’s private portrait photos. It had always been kept in his bedroom. Without his permission, even I would not have touched it. Yet, there it was, in Becky’s hands. She rarely ever came to the house. The only person who was constantly present and had access to Christopher’s bedroom was… I whipped my head around and glared at Cal. “You stole Christopher’s photo?” Cal cried out in protest, “Stole? I took it fair and square. I had to show Becky some pictures to see if she even liked Christopher before I set them up, didn’t I? To be honest, if it wasn’t because Becky was interested, I wouldn’t have given a second look to an effeminate man like Christopher.” I snatched the photo away and slapped Becky and Cal, one after the other. “No one would take that overgrown sow of a daughter of yours even if you paid them! The nerve of you to steal Christopher’s photo! Do you have a death wish?” Smack! Smack! Another two slaps. Cal clutched his face, stunned and furious. “You can hit me all you want, but how dare you touch my precious daughter? I’m going to kill you!” Just as we were about to come to blows, Diane rushed over to break us up. Christopher suddenly felt unwell. He clutched his head and crouched down on the floor. When I saw Christopher’s condition, I stopped my altercation with Cal. I shot Diane, who was standing between Cal and me, a hard look. “Throw them out. Otherwise, you’re the one leaving.” I helped Christopher back to his room to rest. The whole farce came to a temporary halt. Since Christopher had fallen ill, I did not wish to dwell further on the matter with Cal. However, Christopher’s illness had come on too suddenly. He did not have a high fever, yet he was dizzy and groggy out of nowhere. So, I kept my guard up. That night, I heard a faint rustling sound outside the door. Becky opened the door. The moment our eyes met, the smile vanished from her face. “Dad, you told me you had drugged Christopher so I could sleep with him. When I’m pregnant with his child, he’d have no choice but to marry me. So, what is that old man doing here? I don’t want him. I want Christopher!” When Cal, who was standing by the door, saw me, his face turned ashen. I saw Diane standing behind them. It caught me off guard, but it also made perfect sense. “So, you were in on this with them all along.” No wonder she had always defended them. Diane looked at me. Her face was deathly pale. “Honey, it’s not what you think. I can explain!” I spoke into the phone to the police officer on the line. “You heard all of that, right? Please send officers over and arrest them.” I ignored Diane’s pleas and said coldly, “Whatever you have to say, save it for the police station.”