My Uncle Lost His Mind

I was a ghost hunter. My client had bought a haunted manor. Everyone who moved inside ended up losing their minds, so they paid me a huge sum to exorcise the place. However, I had a feeling that I had bitten off more than I could chew. After moving in and fighting against the evil ghost for half a year, I could not handle it anymore and decided to move out to rest for a bit. Before my mind even cleared up completely, Ronald Durkin, my uncle, called me. “Apollo, Jessica just finished sitting for her SATs. I want the entire family to go with her on her graduation trip, but hotels are just too expensive. I heard that you rented a huge manor in the capital. Why don’t you let us stay there?” He then gave me some money, saying that it was rent. When I checked, I found that he had only given me a single cent. My mouth twitched, but I still patiently explained the situation to him. “Uncle Ronald, the manor is haunted. No one can move inside. Why don’t I give you three thousand dollars so that you could book a hotel?” I certainly did not expect him to hang up on me without another word and tag everyone in the family group chat. [Guys, everyone will be going dutch for the trip this time. Apollo will be providing us free lodgings in a ten thousand square feet manor in the capital.] The family group chat went wild, and everyone praised me for being a good boy. I simply could not laugh along with them. That place was uninhabitable! Chapter 1 I got myself a major gig, but I was not a master ghost hunter yet, so I was up against something out of my league. Like a dog with its tail between its legs, I packed up my exorcism equipment and promptly left the ghastly manor. After leaving the place, I intended to go back home to rest and think of another plan. Just then, I received a call from Ronald Durkin, my uncle. “We’re family, so there’s no need for me to be polite. We’re going to stay in your manor. I’ll give you a bit of rent as a token. That’s settled, then.” I then saw a message telling me that he sent me money. I was curious, and my head was still filled with the howls of ghosts. I was unable to think straight yet, so I opened the message. All I got was one measly cent. My mouth twitched. That was a ten thousand square foot manor, and he gave me one cent as a token? My addled brain became much clearer at that moment. Meanwhile, Ronald was still giving me demands. “Jessica has delicate skin and can’t get used to old bed sheets. Go buy new ones right now, wash them, and put them on the beds. By the way, buy more of them and put on new bedsheets for all the rooms. I’m going to bring the entire family for the graduation trip this time. How many rooms do you have, by the way? I’m thinking about asking my wife’s relatives too. It’s been a long time since our families had a get together. Also, don’t just change the bedsheets and blankets. Those disposable slippers are too thin. We can’t ever get used to them. Buy comfortable slippers. We won’t wear the cheap stuff. You need to get branded slippers. They have to be soft, comfortable, and anti-skid. If you don’t know where to find them, I’ll give you the shop’s name.” My head swam as I listened to him, but I still stopped him. “Uncle, I’m not stopping you from staying there, but that’s a haunted house. No one can stay inside.” Also, why was he so troublesome? Even when I slept, I just slept in a cot. Ronald stopped talking for a bit before he snapped in displeasure, “Haven’t you been staying there for half a year? What do you mean, ‘no one can stay inside’? You’ve just forgotten your family after earning some money and are looking down on us poorer folk, aren’t you?” Chapter 2 I sighed. “I’m there to perform an exorcism. That manor isn’t even mine. I don’t have the right to bypass my client and let you move in.” Ronald scoffed. “If you don’t want us to move in there, just say it. What’s the point in saying all these things?” “Yeah. I don’t want you to move in,” I shot back, but it only made Ronald mad. “Apollo, is this how you’re supposed to talk to your elders? I’m telling you right now, we’re staying in the manor. End of discussion.” I found myself rendered completely speechless and was thinking that I should just let them in. If they all lost their minds, they might start behaving. However, as a professional ghost hunter, I still decided to patiently persuade him against his decision. “I’m telling you the truth, Uncle. No one can live in that manor. Why don’t I transfer three thousand dollars to you, and you stay in a hotel with the others?” Right after I finished talking, Ronald scoffed and hung up. I thought that he had given up and sighed in relief. So, I called a cab and was just about to go back when my phone vibrated. When I unlocked it, I found that Ronald had tagged everyone with the following announcement in the family group chat. [Guys, I’m going to bring all of you along to the capital for Jessica’s graduation trip. We’ll go dutch for the traveling fees, but Apollo will be providing accommodations for free. It’s a manor that’s ten thousand square feet big. There are plenty of rooms there. If you want to join, come along. This is a rare opportunity. You can bring your relatives and in-laws along too. The more, the better.] The group went wild. Uncle Gary: You did well with the arrangements, Apollo. Aunt Nina: Since you worked so hard for this, I’ll take you up to your offer. I’ll bring my in-laws and children along. Granduncle: I have a horrible back and can’t sleep on soft beds. Make sure that the mattress is hard. Uncle Tom: I heard that the capital’s roasted ducks are the best, but you’d have to get the authentic ones. Make the arrangements for it, Apollo. My expression turned dark. But Ronald had already said yes to all those demands on my behalf. [Don’t worry. Apollo is a good kid. Just voice whatever requests you have, and he’ll satisfy all of them. Isn’t that right, @Apollo?] He even tagged me. He was trying to guilt-trip me, was he not? Dream on! [That’s not my house, and I never said yes to you staying there. Get a hotel. I’m not an errand boy either. Buy whatever you want to eat on your own.] The group went silent for a while before Nina tagged Ronald in displeasure. Aunt Nina: Didn’t you say that everything is already settled? What’s the meaning of this? Ronald was furious and stopped trying to talk to me. He tagged my parents instead. [@Alicia, @Bob, didn’t you teach your kid manners? We’re a family. Why is he being so fussy?] The moment I sent the message, I muted my phone and slept in the cab. When it stopped in front of my run-down residential area, I woke up to pay for the trip back. When I unlocked my phone, though, I was bombarded with a flood of messages and notifications. Ninety-nine of them were missed calls from my mother, and one one-minute-long voice message from my father. When I opened the door, my mother shouted at me, as if she was boiling with resentment, “I called you so many times. Why didn’t you answer? Also, we’re a family! Ronald already asked you for the manor. Why didn’t you just say yes? We’ve always told you to not be so petty since you were a kid!” Chapter 3 I did not want to engage in any meaningless arguments with her, so I told her the truth. “That manor isn’t mine, but my client’s, and he only asked me to exorcise it because it’s haunted. No one can stay there.” Even after I told her the truth, my mother refused to believe in me and became even angrier. “Are you making up such lies just because you don’t want others to stay at your manor? They’re your family! If you’re so fussy, you’ll end up as a laughingstock!” I lost my temper at that point. “I’m fussy? Don’t you think they’re the ones crossing the line here? They’re the ones who’ll be the laughingstock! “They’re obsessed with money. When we were living close to them, Uncle Ronald came over every day to get free food and stuff. He’d take our fruits, vegetables, shampoo, soap, and even our toilet paper and napkins. He treated us like a free warehouse, and he comes to our place like he’s clocking in for work. “Even during birthdays, while you gave their children expensive gifts, they only gave me single cheap sticks of crayon. You keep telling me that we’re a family, and I shouldn’t be so fussy about this. You even tell me to give them my new toys and only take them back after they broke it. “They’ve been taking advantage of us all this while and never once repaid us. If anything, they’re getting even worse. Setting aside the fact that the manor isn’t mine and is uninhabitable, even if it’s available, I won’t let them take advantage of it!” My father felt so aggrieved that he ducked his head and said nothing, but my mother got livid. “That’s my brother! Our things are theirs too! It’s just some food and stuff! Why are you keeping accounts for everything? Your father spoiled you and made you so unfeeling and callous!” My father turned pale. He tugged at my sleeve as he whispered, “Forget it, Apollo. Just let them stay there for the time being. In any case, the manor is big, and you won’t be using up the entire space, anyway. It’s a waste for you to leave the rooms empty. Just let them use it. We’re a family. We see them all the time. If we take things too far, we won’t be able to get along with them anymore. Besides, we’re just helping each other out. There will come a time where we will need their help. We’re just maintaining relations. Be a bit more generous, alright?” I kept my stance. “No! I won’t let them!” Then, I went back to my room to sleep. Still furious, my mother tagged Ronald in the group chat. [@Ronald, come over and have fun. Apollo is sorry now. He’ll even pay for your travel fees and transportation fees.] With my phone muted, I had a good sleep, only to be woken up by loud noises. The people inside my house were each talking louder than the last, and children were running around while screeching like banshees. What was going on? Have my parents brought their friends over? While I was still wondering about it, someone opened my room door. It was Ronald, and he stood at my door with his chest puffed out. “You’re awake? Bring us to your manor. Your place is too small. There are so many people here now that even standing in this place feels cramped.” At that moment, I finally saw the state of the living room. There was a whole crowd there, and all of them were the relatives who often came to my place for freebies. Gary was smoking while talking to my mother. As he did, he put out his cigarette in one of our potted plants. Nina and some other ladies poured out all the imported cherries I intended to have for myself and started stuffing their faces full with them like they were not worth any money. Chapter 4 “This doesn’t taste good at all, and it’s so overpriced as well. Apollo really just wastes money.” Jesicca was playing games on my work laptop. When she lost, she got so angry that she punched it. “What a stupid laptop! It’s so laggy!” The screen cracked and was entirely ruined. When Ronald saw this, he panicked and went to check Jessica’s hand. “Don’t hit random things, Jessica. What if you hurt your hand?” Jesicca started screeching, “Didn’t you say that we’re going to a manor and that it has everything, including game consoles? How long are we going to stay in this stupid place? The internet’s bad, and the laptop’s so laggy. My party members will definitely think I’m a noob! I’m so mad!” The other children were swinging around the limited-edition figurines that they had broken apart and started shouting, “I want to go to the manor too! Now!” They immediately started a “who cries louder” competition. They were so loud that they were one hundred times more terrifying than the ghosts in the manor. Ronald turned to me. “Hear that? Bring us over right now. Your cousins are tired of waiting. Your uncles and aunties are also tired from their flights and need to rest. Apollo, you’re already an adult. You need to be more sensible.” As I stared at my thrashed stuff, I clenched my fists. “What about you? You’re in your fifties. You have half a foot in the grave. Don’t you know that if you take something without asking, that’s stealing? Your daughter destroyed my laptop. You need to pay up for that.” Then, I pointed at the other children. “Those figurines are no longer in production, and their market value is one thousand dollars. Your children ruined three of them, so they owe me three thousand dollars!” I showed them my QR code. “Pay up!” The ruckus finally died down. The parents of the other children immediately grabbed the broken figurines and threw them into the trash can. “I wouldn’t even want these stupid things even if they cost only three cents, and you’re asking for three thousand dollars? You think we’re easy targets, don’t you? You’re trying to scam us!” Ronald planted his hands on his hips and started shouting, “I didn’t even blame you for your stupid laptop injuring my daughter’s hand, and you’re asking me for money? You’re so shameless!” Martha, Ronald’s wife, did not argue with me, but she did turn to my mother in displeasure. “Alicia, look at your son. He’s arguing with us just for that bit of money. Doesn’t he know respect?” My mother grabbed my hand. “Hurry up and apologize to your uncle and aunt.” Ronald puffed out his chest. “We’ll set that aside for now. We came here in first-class cabins, and everyone spent three thousand dollars each. That’s six hundred thousand dollars. Pay that first.” I laughed in exasperation. “Why should I pay for your transportation fees?” Ronald glared at me and took his phone out before showing me my mother’s message. “You agreed to it. If you hadn’t said that you’d treat us, we wouldn’t have taken the first-class cabin. You need to pay.” I shrugged. “I never agreed to any of it. Make the person who said it pay!” Ronald got worked up. “If you hadn’t said yes, I wouldn’t have paid first. If you don’t pay now, I’m going to take your things to sell them and get my money back! Get his things out, everyone! If I don’t get my money back, you’re all going dutch!” Chapter 5 The moment Ronald finished speaking, they started looting my house, especially my house. They grabbed my shoes and all my accessories. My house descended into chaos. My parents only stood by silently. They did not even stop them. When Jessica started snapping at them to leave, Ronald finally stopped pillaging and haughtily looked at me. “We’ve got the money. You can take us to the manor now.” Did I give it to him? He stole it from me! “I told you many times before that I’m not letting you go in.” I continued saying no and asked them for payment. “I recorded all your actions just now. Put down everything in your hands and pay me back for the things you destroyed, or I’m calling the police.” Their expressions changed. Quite a number of them were terrified and wanted to put the things down, but Ronald turned to my mother and questioned her coldly, “How could someone threaten to send his aunts and uncles to the police? Aren’t you going to do anything about this?” I did not cave to the pressure and dragged the conversation right back. “You’re only a bunch of opportunistic thieves. How dare you call yourselves my aunts and uncles? You’re more like monsters!” The moment I finished speaking, though, my mother slapped me. “Apollo, what on earth are you saying? You’re crossing the line!” I scanned my house. My relatives were grinning smugly, my mother was furious, and my father was useless and could only hint at me to just let it slide. Suddenly, I found the entire thing meaningless. “Do you call this crossing the line? I’m going to do something even worse!” With that said, I ignored all of them and left with a slam of the door. I intended to head straight to the police station and had them arrested first, but my phone suddenly vibrated. My father had sent me a message. [Your mother brought them to the manor. I couldn’t stop them.] In the past, I had given them the manor’s address so that they could send me things. I had not expected them to be so generous in sharing it to others. In the past, I would have tried my best to stop them and dissuade them from going to a haunted manor, but I had come to realize something. It was impossible to dissuade stubborn idiots eager to march to their own deaths. I should just let them be. They did not have the password for the gate, anyway. However, they thought that since a family member owned it, they could do whatever they wanted, so they broke the lock and went in. That was not all. Ronald even happily took a video and posted it in the group chat. “Guys, check it out. Apollo’s manor is really big. The weather outside is almost 105 degrees Fahrenheit, and we were melting, but it’s so cold inside. We didn’t even need to turn on the air conditioning.” Behind him, my aunts were caressing the jewelry inside. My mother waved her arm and said generously, “My son’s things belong to everyone. Just grab whatever you like. You don’t have to hold back.” Everyone started praising her. As I watched their smug expressions, I said nothing. They did not know that they were not to touch the things inside, or they would be haunted. Upon that thought, I decided to go back home and hold off reporting to the police. Arresting them just like this would be letting them off easy. I packed up some things and found another place to stay. The next morning, I was woken up by a call. When I took a look at my phone, I found that Ronald was video calling me.