His Lens Has No Room for Me

Seven years with a photographer, and I don't have a single decent photo of myself. "I only shoot landscapes, not people," my boyfriend, Dwayne Norton, always tells me. He even claims he broke up with his ex because she kept forcing him to take her picture. So, for seven years, I play nice. I never ask and never push. Until today, when I'm scrolling through social media and see a post from my influencer best friend, Aviana Reed. "My personal photographer has been shooting me for seven years. Every single shot is a masterpiece!" In the comments, there's a reply, "It's an honor to shoot my muse." The profile picture is pitch black. The tone is so familiar it leaves me completely numb. He doesn't hate shooting people. He just hates shooting me. Dwayne, since there's no room for me in your lens, then this time, there's no room for you in my world either. Chapter 1 When my coworkers found out my boyfriend, Dwayne Norton, was a photographer, they were green with envy. "Oh my god! You must get the best photos so easily!" "I'm so jealous. Mine still doesn't even know how to focus a camera!" I just smiled and shook my head. "He only shoots landscapes, never people." That was Dwayne's golden rule. Even on our first anniversary, when I told Dwayne I only wanted a simple souvenir photo, he still lost his temper. "My ex-girlfriend and I broke up precisely because she kept nagging me to take her picture." To keep us together, I spent the next seven years walking on eggshells, meticulously minding my words and actions, terrified of crossing his boundary. Until today, I was scrolling through social media when I saw a new post from my influencer friend, Aviana Reed. "My personal photographer has been shooting me for seven years. Every single shot is a masterpiece!" The top-liked comment read, "It's an honor to shoot my muse." The profile picture was a solid black circle. It looked exactly like Dwayne's account. The comment section was completely swooning over the two of them. "Everyone in the industry knows Dwayne only shoots landscapes. Aviana is the only person he'll break his rule for." "Have you guys seen Dwayne's usual work? It's always so cold and desolate. But the second he shoots Aviana, the lighting and mood are incredibly tender." "I said seven years ago that Aviana's photographer definitely had feelings for her, and everyone called me delusional." The comments were buzzing with excitement. Inside, I was turning to ice. It had never even crossed my mind. The patient, gentle photographer who had spent seven years capturing flawless photos of Aviana and the boyfriend who had refused to take a single photo of me in our seven years together were the same person. Beside me in bed, Dwayne mumbled my name in his sleep, but I felt entirely numb. People in the comments started sharing screenshots of Aviana's alternate profile. That was when I realized Dwayne and Aviana shared a history that ran far deeper than I ever knew. She always called him her "softie". "I was starving, so my softie made me spaghetti bolognese." The spaghetti in the photo looked perfect. But all I could think about was the first time Dwayne cooked for me, when he burned the noodles to a crisp. He had looked so embarrassed back then. "Just wait. I'll learn how to do it right!" Eventually, Dwayne did learn, but he cooked for Aviana. "My energy was totally off during today's shoot, but he waited out in a blizzard for five hours without a single word of complaint." I remembered vividly how much Dwayne hated the snow. No matter how much I begged him over the years, he refused to ever go to Northia to see the snow with me. Yet, these photos were telling me a different story. The man who happily let himself get covered in snow was Dwayne. A dull ache throbbed in my chest. Dwayne took the photos he refused to take for Aviana. He stood in the snow he loathed for her. Even now, a part of me wanted to live in denial. But I had to face the truth. To Dwayne, Aviana was special. His stubborn boundaries were meant for me alone. Chapter 2 I sat in bed, my mind consumed by a single urge—to shake Dwayne awake and demand answers. But in the end, I did nothing. I just put my phone down, closed my eyes, and waited until dawn. I had a business trip the next morning. I was solely responsible for this project, and its success would determine whether I got promoted at the end of the year. Right before check-in, Dwayne finally couldn't help but ask, "What's wrong with you?" I turned and stared at him for a long time. Back then, I had pursued him fiercely, making no secret of my feelings. When things got intense, he had told me he loved me too. By the end of this year, I was supposed to fulfill the wish I'd written in my diary when I was 18—"Marry Dwayne". "If I did something wrong, you have to tell me. We…" He paused, a small smile breaking through. "We're supposed to spend the rest of our lives together." Suddenly, my defenses cracked. "Then take a picture of me." Honestly, if Dwayne just agreed… But he didn't. The moment he heard my request, the concern in his eyes dimmed, replaced instantly by blatant annoyance. "You know I don't take photos of people." "Then what about Aviana?" I countered. Dwayne's face paled with panic at my words. "You found out about me shooting Avi?" Avi… In seven years of dating, Dwayne had never used such an affectionate nickname for me. "We just hadn't found the right time to tell you yet." A bitter laugh swelled in my throat, but tears spilled out first. We had been together for seven years. Not seven hours or seven days. Seven whole years of my life were spent in this relationship, and my best friend and boyfriend had mutually decided they "hadn't found the time" to tell me. Dwayne added, "Besides, Avi is your best friend. Helping her out is basically helping you, isn't it?" I stayed silent. Three seconds later, he lost his patience. "Kathleen Wells!" Suddenly, a memory flashed through my mind. Aviana had once posted on her alternate account about throwing a tantrum and how Dwayne had spent three hours gently coaxing her out of it. Passersby were starting to look over at us. Then, a woman gasped excitedly, "Mr. Norton? Can we get a picture together?" Dwayne was notoriously aloof. Even when my cousin had asked for a photo before, he had shut her down without a second thought. And right now, he was already pissed off. Just when I opened my mouth to smooth things over, the woman added, "I'm a huge fan of Avi's!" The harsh, rigid line of Dwayne's jaw instantly softened at the mention of Aviana's name. He offered a gentle smile. "Thank you for supporting Avi. Sure, let's take a picture." I froze, my mouth hanging half-open. The draft from the airport AC rushed in, freezing me to the core. The peaceful illusion I had tried so desperately to maintain was finally ripped away, exposing the brutal, ugly truth. Dwayne wasn't naturally cold. I just wasn't Aviana. In fact, in his eyes, I wasn't even as important as one of Aviana's random fans. "Dwayne." I couldn't play deaf and blind anymore. "We're over." Dwayne let out a sharp, angry laugh. "Just because I took photos for Avi?" I nodded. "Yes. Exactly because of that." By the time I checked into my hotel, a text from Aviana was already waiting on my phone. "Kathie, did you misunderstand something?" Chapter 3 I didn't reply. I just lay on the bed, letting the harsh glare of the overhead light sting my eyes until they watered. Back in the orphanage, Aviana had been chosen by a wealthy couple because of how pretty she was. Everyone knew that going with them meant a life a thousand times better than what we had. But Aviana refused. She wouldn't go because they wouldn't adopt me, too. That day, consumed by guilt, I had sobbed until I could barely breathe. It was Aviana who comforted me. "What is there to cry about?" she had said. "We've known each other since the day we were born. We're supposed to be sisters for life." Then there was the year of our high school entrance exams. Aviana had rejected the school bully, and his admirer cornered us at the school gates. "Which one of you is Aviana Reed?" I glanced at the glass bottle the woman was holding and replied, "I am." By the time Aviana found me, I was covered in blood. She shook and cried hysterically. "Are you stupid? Your hand is broken. How are you supposed to take the exam? You studied so hard. It wasn't supposed to be like this. You were supposed to go to a great school and have a good life…" I was on the verge of fainting from the pain, but I still forced a smile to cheer her up. "Aviana, a good life is one with you in it." Just then, my phone buzzed. It was Aviana. "Kathie?" Her voice trembled. I didn't say a word. She burst into tears instantly. "There's seriously nothing going on between Dwayne and me…" I let the silence stretch for over ten seconds before asking in a raspy voice, "Is Dwayne really that great?" Was he so great that she'd rather lose me? Aviana understood exactly what I meant. Her crying stopped abruptly. "But I never wanted to hurt you. Kathie, you have to believe me." I curled myself into a tight ball as a sharp pain flared up in my stomach. The last time it hurt like this was when Dwayne had forgotten to make me dinner. Aviana had canceled a major brand deal she'd spent months securing just to fly overnight and chew him out. "Kathie is my best friend! If you ever fail to take care of her again, I will make you pay!" One was the friend who had walked through the dark with me. The other was the boyfriend who had warmed my entire youth. The pain I felt now was just as deep as the happiness I felt then. "Let's not contact each other anymore," I said. I believed that Aviana hadn't explicitly set out to hurt me. I even believed that she and Dwayne hadn't crossed any physical lines. But did betrayal only count if it was physical? Over the last seven years, they had countless opportunities to come clean or to cut ties and go back to where they belonged. Yet they chose not to. To me, that was betrayal enough. My stomach felt like it was being twisted by a sharp blade. I bit down hard on my lip. Cold sweat mixed with blood dripped onto the carpet, sinking in and vanishing instantly. Just like the sincere love I had offered up all these years—nobody noticed. Chapter 4 During my week-long business trip to Ashmont, I was so busy I could only manage one meal a day. The moment the trip wrapped up and I turned my phone back on, nearly 100 missed calls and messages popped up. All of them were from Dwayne. The latest one read, "I can explain the photography stuff. Please don't make a rash decision, okay?" I didn't reply. Yet, when I got back, Dwayne was already waiting outside my apartment. I walked up to him, opening my mouth to speak, when he suddenly shoved me hard. My knees slammed into the concrete, and blood immediately began to pour from the wound. But Dwayne seemed completely oblivious as he ruthlessly said, "Avi is getting cyberbullied. Are you happy now? Is this what you wanted?" I pulled out my phone. Only then did I realize that after waking up crying last night, I had been unable to tell the dream from reality and had left a comment under Aviana's video. "Did you know he's my boyfriend?" Because of that, people were starting to accuse Aviana of being a mistress. Dwayne looked down at me in disappointment. "Avi came from an orphanage. It wasn't easy for her to get to where she is today. Do you really have to ruin her life just to be satisfied? Or do you only feel satisfied when you ruin everyone's mood over a photo?" His accusations cut fast and deep, like a blunt steel ruler jamming ruthlessly into an unhealed fracture. The emotions I had spent days suffocating finally erupted. The moment I spoke, my voice shook violently. "Do you have any idea what these past few days have been like for me?" Tears spilled over. No matter how calm and rational I forced myself to be during the day, the nights were different. Every single night, every memory of Dwayne and Aviana would come crashing down on me like a tidal wave. Every frame was a shard of broken glass piercing my lungs, making even breathing feel bloody. Countless times, I had stood on the edge of my hotel balcony, thinking, "Maybe I should just jump." But Dwayne didn't care. "You caused everything! If you hadn't thrown a tantrum, none of this would have happened. You're just miserable, so you want everyone else to be miserable with you." Dwayne thought for a moment, then uttered each word coldly, "Who could ever put up with a personality like yours? No wonder your parents abandoned you." Upon hearing those words, I stood frozen, feeling as though I had been dropped into an ice cellar. The cold was suffocating. Years ago, Dwayne had asked me, "Could you try not to be so strong all the time? It makes me feel like you don't need me." I had told him, "I'm an orphan. I only have you." And Dwayne had comforted me over and over, promising, "I'm your first real family. I'll stay with you forever." He would never know that those words had become the oxygen tank that kept me alive all these years. But now, he had smashed it with his own hands and weaponized it just to protect Aviana. Suddenly, the doorbell rang. Dwayne opened the door. Aviana was standing there, her eyes swollen and red. "Kathie, if it makes you feel any better, you can do whatever you want to me." Dwayne wrapped his arms around her protectively and said gently, "I won't let anyone hurt you." He slammed the apartment door shut behind them as they left. Silence reclaimed the room. It was so quiet that I couldn't help but realize that when a heart shattered completely, it didn't make a sound. … Dwayne moved fast. He put out a statement online. "Ms. Aviana Reed and I fell in love seven years ago today. We're each other's first loves. That certain someone is just trying to stir up drama for attention." Attached was a Polaroid of him and Aviana locked in an embrace. The timestamp showed it was taken seven years ago, on this exact date. I remembered that day. I had begged him to celebrate our first anniversary. He had told me he was too busy and didn't have the time. The comment section went wild, throwing its full support behind the happy couple. It didn't take long for people to dox me. They called me malicious, said I deserved to be an orphan, and even wished I'd get hit by a car. I shut off my phone and wrapped my arms around myself. I told myself, "It's fine, Kathleen. You still have your job. You can still get promoted. You can build a home for yourself." Then, my phone rang sharply. "Get to the office right now."