Our Story Ends on the Hundredth Page

The 100th time Dexter Carrington ditches me to help my best friend with her lab work, I write the final line in my diary and break up with him. Dexter is exasperated, to say the least. "I genuinely don't know how your amygdala is wired. Your emotions have completely bulldozed your rational thinking." My best friend, Brianna Holt, laughs. "That's cruel. You're insulting her intelligence in words she can't even understand." She's right. I don't understand. The two of them dominate the biology department rankings every year, taking first and second place, and are the kind of prodigies even their professors defer to. I'm just an ordinary student at the music school next door. When they talk about how cells have their own rhythms, the only thing I can think to ask is what time signature those rhythms are in. Dexter always hates that. "If you don't understand, don't chime in." So now I listen. I don't chime in anymore. Because the first page of this diary reads, "Today is my birthday, but Dexter chose to go over data with Brianna. "By the time this diary is full, I'm leaving him for good." Chapter 1 "Is this supposed to be my rap sheet?" Dexter Carrington asked, barely glancing at the diary before setting it down. He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. "Come on, Ivy, knock it off. Brianna and I just finished a huge project. I'm dead on my feet, and I really don't have the energy to deal with this right now." He didn't have the energy? I looked down. The phone in his hand was still lit up, open to a conversation with Brianna Holt. She was asking when he wanted to go buy outfits for the celebration. He'd told her tonight, since I had work and wouldn't be around to make a fuss. I almost laughed. He seemed to have plenty of energy for that. He'd even picked a time to go shopping when I wouldn't be there. I pulled free from his arms. "Your phone's still on." He stiffened for a second, then clicked the screen off. "This is Brianna's first time running a project celebration. It means a lot to her." It meant a lot to her, so he didn't want me getting in the way. "What about me?" Something in me surged. It was my one final push. "Tonight's my first solo at a major concert. You promised you'd come." Dexter and I met at a school concert. He told me my music calmed his nerves, that I was the only thing that kept him grounded. He bought me the best violin money could buy and swore, like some devoted fan, that he'd never miss a single performance. But his promises never lasted past the moment he made them. He missed every single one. It started when he found out my best friend, Brianna, went to his school in the same department. After that, they were in the lab together every other day, talking about things I couldn't begin to follow. And every time something of mine clashed with Brianna's schedule, he'd smooth my hair back with an apologetic look. "Be good, okay? This is a rare opportunity for Brianna. I'll make it up to you later." His version of making it up to me was taking Brianna and me to dinner. I'd sit next to Brianna while he sat across from her, and the two of them would talk about experiments and papers like they were a couple and I was the third wheel. After dinner, they'd go right back to being joined at the hip, co-authoring papers and entering competitions together. I rehearsed alone. I performed alone. When I snapped a string and wanted to vent about it, all I ever got was the same line. "Ivy, Brianna and I are really swamped right now. Can it wait?" He'd said those words so many times that I didn't want to hear them anymore. Dexter reached over and smoothed my hair back the same way he always did. "That's great, though. Look at you, getting your own solo. "But I need to help pick outfits for the whole team this time. I really can't get away. Can you just be understanding about it?" I ducked away from his hand. Whatever light was left in my eyes went out. "It's fine. We already broke up anyway, didn't we?" Dexter's hand froze in midair. He pinched the bridge of his nose, exhausted. "Ivy, you know, Brianna's really right about you sometimes. You artist types overthink everything. It doesn't matter how much someone loves you, you'll always be stuck in your own little world." He loved me? Then why wouldn't he read my diary or come to my performances? Why was every other word out of his mouth about Brianna? "Forget about me. Just go apologize to Brianna." I looked up, thrown. "What?" "I told her you were jealous of us again and that you wouldn't let me help her pick outfits. Now she feels awful. She says she can't even sleep. "Brianna's been pulling all-nighters for days. She's running on fumes. You can't keep making her pay for your mood swings." I stood there, and it took me a long moment to process what he was actually saying. So while we were fighting, while I was trying to break up with him, he'd been texting Brianna in those few seconds when his back was turned. I looked down. The apartment suddenly felt freezing, like something hollow had cracked open inside my chest and the cold was rushing in to fill it. "Remember to apologize. I'm going to lie down. I'm wiped." He didn't notice a thing about how I was feeling. He just turned and walked into the bedroom. I stood there for a few seconds, then picked up my phone and called my orchestra manager. "Diana, does the Clearwater project still have openings? "Yeah. I want to leave Ridgehaven." Chapter 2 Backstage after the show, Diana Lawson hesitated before speaking. "Ivy, didn't you say you were staying in Ridgehaven for Dexter?" Diana had been my roommate back in college and was there for every stage of my relationship with Dexter. "Did that little punk do something to you? Just say the word, and I'll march right over to his lab." I managed a smile. "It's nothing that dramatic. I just got tired of it. We split on good terms." I never thought I'd be the kind of person to say I got tired of someone. We spent all four years of college so wrapped up in each other that neither of us could stand to let go. He won first place at the school track meet and kissed me in front of everyone. For my final recital, I wove his name into the melody I performed. Both schools' forums shipped us like crazy. But barely a year after graduation, everything changed. I joined an orchestra and was either on the road or about to be. Dexter and Brianna both got into the graduate program and stayed on at the university research institute. We hardly saw each other, and the few days a month we could actually sit down for a meal together, he'd bring Brianna along. Whenever I asked why, it was always the same thing. "She's always saying she misses you. I can't just hog you all to myself." So every date that was supposed to be just the two of us somehow turned into three. I reminded him over and over not to talk about biology, but they'd inevitably drift into bacterial reproduction or whatever conference was coming up. I'd end up staring at my phone, quietly edging out of the conversation without even realizing it. After enough of that, I stopped trying to edge back in. "Alright, if you've made up your mind," Diana said. "But once you go to Clearwater, it'll be hard to come back. You're really okay with leaving everything behind?" Of course, it was hard. I'd spent five years in this city, and everywhere I looked, I saw traces of Dexter and me. But I couldn't spend my whole life living inside those traces. I picked up my violin and took a deep breath. I lifted my chin and walked out onto the stage. It was time I started walking toward something brighter. The song was one I'd written myself, lyrics and melody, with the violin carrying straight through from beginning to end. But during the chorus, I froze for a split second. The camera had landed on a man and a woman in the crowd. Every other couple the camera had panned to leaned in for a kiss on instinct, but they didn't. After the song, the singer asked them, "Am I not romantic enough? How come you two didn't kiss?" Dexter answered easily. "We're not a couple, just close colleagues. We're actually here with these two as well. "So don't get the wrong idea. I do have a girlfriend. She just couldn't make it tonight because of work." One of his coworkers muttered under his breath. "Your girlfriend throws a fit every other day. Honestly, you'd be better off just getting with Brianna." "Seriously, a violin player? What do you two even have in common?" The venue was loud, and the voices were low, but I still caught every word. Dexter didn't correct them. He just handed the microphone back to the staff with a polite smile. Backstage, Diana was gripping her cup so hard it was about to crack. "What is Dexter doing here? He brought Brianna to a concert? "And as a group of four? Those other two are obviously a married couple." I laughed bitterly. My chest felt like something was reaching in and squeezing. He came to my show after all. He just brought Brianna. He just didn't recognize me on stage. He was just here to see the headliner with her. I couldn't help myself. I texted him. "Was the concert good? "Too bad you two didn't kiss just now. That would've been something." Chapter 3 I sent the texts and turned off my phone, then got ready for the next piece. Two hours later, when the show finally wrapped, Diana handed me a bottle of water. Her eyes drifted toward the common lounge. "Dexter's been waiting for you in there this whole time. He's been pretty polite about it, too, and ordered takeout for everyone. "Yours came in a little heart-shaped box." I ignored that and headed for the bathroom to take off my makeup. Brianna was already there, like she'd been waiting for me. The dressing room was full of performers removing their stage makeup. She slipped behind me to help undo my hair the same way she used to back in school. "Ivy, the piece you played was incredible. Were you happy to see us out there?" She was always like that, always gentle, always able to find a graceful way through even the most awkward situations. But I was done playing along. "Not even a little." I tried to keep my voice steady, but there was still a dull ache spreading through my chest. "He's my boyfriend, and he showed up to a concert wearing a matching outfit with you. Why would I be happy?" I hadn't told a single person where the show was, either. They'd come all the way across the city to get here, and it wasn't a short trip. "Whether you came to see me or just used each other as arm candy for the headliner, you both know the answer to that." The other performers glanced at each other, and every last one of them found a reason to slip out of the bathroom. Brianna's face went white. "No, Ivy, let me explain." She reached for me, but I stepped back. In the middle of the argument, she let out a sharp gasp. The floor was slippery, and her ankle twisted underneath her. I reached out on instinct, but Dexter burst through the door and shoved me aside without a second thought. "Ivy Vance, how long are you going to keep this up?" The disappointment on his face was bad enough. What came out of his mouth pinned me where I stood. "You think just because your parents are dead, the rest of us have to treat you like a princess? I've put up with it, fine. But Brianna is not your punching bag." Everything went still. I stared at him like I was looking at a stranger. My parents died because they were heroes. They stepped in to save someone and were killed for it. I didn't even find out until sophomore year, when the man who did it was finally caught. The day I went to the cemetery, both Dexter and Brianna stood at my mother's grave and swore they'd take care of me, that they'd never let me be hurt. Now one of them was crying like I was the one who'd wronged her, and the other had his arms locked around her, looking at me like I was the enemy. Dexter regretted the words almost as soon as they left his mouth. "I didn't mean—" Brianna pushed out of his arms. "Dexter, what are you even saying? "Ivy, please listen to me. It really isn't what you think. The tickets were from the organizers. The outfits were from logistics, and they bought them for the whole group. We didn't know the others weren't going to wear theirs. "Or is this about Dexter helping me with my project for the past month? I'm so sorry, it was my first time leading something that big, and I was completely out of my depth." Before she could even finish, the guilt in Dexter's eyes had already curdled into contempt. He'd already decided that I couldn't see the bigger picture, that I only knew how to throw tantrums. "Ivy Vance, are you a child? Everything has to revolve around your feelings. The whole world has to orbit around you. "Do you have any idea how hard Brianna works? Her research has saved lives. You think playing the violin even compares?" He scooped Brianna up and walked out without looking back. I stood there alone, the whispers from outside the door cutting through, every one of them landing like a blade. Diana rushed in. "What happened? I just saw Dexter carrying Brianna out." My face was drained of color. It took me a long time to manage a smile. "Diana, can you move my flight up to tomorrow? I really can't stay in Ridgehaven anymore." Chapter 4 It was late by the time I got home to pack. I sat down on the couch and glanced over at the dining table. It was a mess. There were dishes everywhere, as well as a plate of braised short ribs Dexter was known for and a pasta bake Brianna had been perfecting since forever. It wasn't hard to picture the two of them in the kitchen together while Brianna's ankle healed, cooking side by side, then sitting across from each other over drinks. And the diary I'd filled to 100 pages was underneath one of the dishes, used as a trivet. It was covered in grease stains. I let out a dry laugh and went to the bedroom to grab my suitcase. At least there was one upside to traveling all the time. I'd never unpacked, so there was nothing to pack anyway. But I was so exhausted that I ended up falling asleep sitting on the floor of the closet. My phone woke me up. It was Diana. "Ivy, check the trending page right now. Dexter got caught cheating." I opened the link, still half-asleep, and then shot upright. In the video, Dexter was carrying Brianna into a hotel. Her face was flushed, her eyes glassy and unfocused, her heels dangling loosely off her feet. He carried her all the way to the elevator and set her down. Meanwhile, she looked up at him with a lazy smile before reaching up on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around his neck. The footage was blurry, but I could still make out the look on Dexter's face. It wasn't guilt. It was the tired, indulgent expression of someone who'd long since given up resisting. The comments were already piling up. "I was literally just trying to get footage of my favorite singer and ended up catching a cheater instead." "I knew something was off with those two at the concert. They were practically glued together, yet the guy had the nerve to say he had a girlfriend." "Somebody please make sure his girlfriend sees this. She deserves to know." Dexter's social media had already been torn apart. People tracked down his school and his research institute. The comments were full of people demanding the institute fire both of them. I was still worrying about whether that might actually happen when the front door slammed open. "Are you happy now, Ivy?" Dexter's eyes were ice cold. "If you hadn't said what you said, Brianna never would've drunk that much, and I never would've had to take her to a hotel." It took me a second to process. Then I laughed, out of sheer frustration. But before I could say a word, he snatched my phone out of my hand. A sick feeling twisted through me. "Dexter, what are you doing?" He didn't even look up. "Posting a statement from your account saying that the woman in the video was you. The footage didn't catch her face. People will believe it." My stomach dropped. He was protecting Brianna and was going to use me as a shield to take the heat off her. But his post didn't just claim the woman was me. It also said I'd been jealous of my own best friend and deliberately bought fake press coverage to smear her. Within seconds, my inbox exploded. "Jealous of your own best friend? What year is this? Grow up." "Go to hell. Women like you are the reason we can't have nice things." Diana texted too. "Ivy, what's going on? The orchestra's reputation is taking a hit." I explained what actually happened and apologized. When I looked back up at Dexter, I couldn't hold it together anymore. The tears spilled over, one after another. Dexter seemed to realize, belatedly, that he might have gone too far. "Alright, stop crying. It's not like you're really losing anything, right?" He reached out to wipe the tears off my face. I turned away. "We've already broken up, Mr. Carrington. I'd appreciate it if you kept your distance." His hand hung in the air for a moment, then he noticed the suitcase beside me. "Quit the dramatics. You're going on another work trip, right? Let me drive you." I pressed my lips together. "That's not necessary. The orchestra is sending a car." Dexter frowned slightly but didn't push it. He didn't ask where I was going. He didn't ask when I'd be back. He assumed I'd do what I always did. No matter how bad the fight was, I'd text him the minute I boarded the plane with my flight details, and then make a fuss about him picking me up when I got back. That was how nine out of ten of our fights ended. But not this time. By the time Dexter got off work that evening, he still hadn't received a single message from me.