Five Years Too Late

When I was five, Mom and Dad took my little brother to the city for kindergarten and left me in a mountain village with my grandfather, who had dementia. Before they left, Dad told me to take care of Grandpa, watch the house, and protect the yard. Mom said I was the older brother, so I had to be sensible. They said that once they made enough money, they'd bring me to the city too. I didn't want to let go. I clung to Mom's leg and begged through tears, "Mom, please. I don't want to be separated from you." My tears and snot smeared across her expensive dress. She scolded me for being difficult, slapped my bottom until it swelled, and struck my face hard enough to break the skin. In the end, they didn't soften. They left and never came back. Three months later, when I was close to starving, I called Mom and begged her to send me something to eat. She snapped, irritated, "A boy who talks about being hungry every day? Why don't you just starve, then? How can there be nothing to eat in the countryside? "Your father and I are under so much pressure in the city. Can't you be sensible for once?" Her words came true. That winter, I starved to death. Five years later, Mom pushed open the rotten door. "Miles," she called. "Mom's back." Chapter 1 The room was filled with the rotten stink of decay, and spiders crawled over the walls. Grandpa lay curled on a heap of torn bedding, half asleep. A strip of light shone in from the doorway, making him narrow his eyes to slits. Mom—Helen—frowned and covered her nose. She waved at the rancid air and complained, "Why does this place look like a landfill? Doesn't anyone clean up? "What a filthy little slob. Miles? Miles..." She looked around, calling my name louder and louder. I happily threw myself at her, only to pass straight through her body like air. I forgot again. I died five years ago. After waiting and hoping for so long, Mom had finally come back. She was holding candy and cookies. I stared so hard my mouth watered. My heart filled with joy. So Mom did care about me. She'd just been too busy. She'd only found time to come back now. I bounced around beside her and shouted, "Mom, I'm here! I'm right here!" But she couldn't see me at all. Just then, her phone rang. Unable to stand the stink inside the house, she stepped outside to answer it. I immediately followed her. "Baby, be good. Mom will be home soon. I just stopped by to check on your brother. "I bought your favorite cream puffs and fruit gummies. All the things you like. "Yes, yes, I'll be back soon. Tonight, Mom will hold you while you sleep." I froze. The happiness inside me turned cold, as if someone had dumped a basin of ice water over my head. So the fruit and pastries weren't for me. They were for my little brother. Wronged and furious, I waved my transparent arms and yelled at her, "Why? We're both your sons. Why don't you love me? "I was clearly more obedient than he was. If you didn't like me, why did you give birth to me?" She couldn't hear any of it. She turned and went back inside, disgust written all over her face. "Dad! Where's Miles? What is going on? I've been calling him and he won't answer!" Her tone grew impatient. She glanced at the expensive watch on her wrist, obviously in a hurry to get back. I squatted on the ground. Just like the year I starved to death, I didn't even have the strength to hate her anymore. For someone who doesn't love you, even an ocean of love changes nothing at all. So my little brother had grown so big, and she still held him to sleep. But when I was three, after Mom gave birth to my brother, I was thrown into a room with Grandpa, who had dementia. When Grandpa had an episode, he was like a violent stranger. He'd beat me until my body was black and blue. I used to cry until snot bubbled from my nose, hugging Mom's leg and begging, "Mom, please. I want to sleep with you too." She frowned, her whole face saying I was unreasonable. "You're the older brother. Why don't you know how to help Mom? Your brother is still so little. He needs care. "Don't be naughty and provoke Grandpa, and he won't hit you. Grandpa is sick. You're the older brother. You have to help Mom and Dad look after him." Chapter 2 She always used the same sentence. "You're the older brother." With that one line, I had to shoulder so many things no child my age should ever have carried. From then on, I never again knew what Mom's quilt smelled like, or what Mom's arms felt like. "Miles... Miles catches mice... lots of mice... bad child..." Grandpa was confused. He didn't recognize Mom. He only mumbled slowly to himself. Mom stopped looking for me. Instead, she stared at the ruined house with disgust and muttered, "Still as naughty as when he was little. Not quiet and refined like Mason at all. "All day long, he only knows how to catch mice. He makes the room dirtier than a dog kennel. "Such a big child, and he still has no sense of hygiene. "Always wanting to go to the city with me. Looking like this? Ugh..." She let out a heavy sigh. It was filled with disappointment in me. My heart felt like it had a hole punched through it. The pain made even my soul tremble. But Mom, I caught mice because there was nothing else to eat. Grandpa and I were so hungry we were weak. We couldn't bear it anymore, so I went to catch mice. To fight cats for those mice, my body was covered in crisscrossing scratches. Even when I managed to grab one and roast it, I couldn't bear to eat it first. I saved it for Grandpa. Only after Grandpa was full would I eat. But Grandpa was never full. Once, he was so hungry that he bit a chunk of flesh from my arm. Even as a ghost, the missing bite on my arm was still sunken in. Most families in the deep mountains had already moved away. Now, only Grandpa stayed in this broken house. After I starved to death, Mr. Harper, who used to look after the village, thought my parents had taken me to the city. Seeing how pitiful Grandpa was, he came by every week to bring food. Sometimes he came once every half month. That was how Grandpa survived. Helen couldn't bear the stink anymore. She retched in disgust. She really couldn't stay. She hurriedly opened her exquisite designer handbag and pulled out five hundred dollars, placing it on the trash-covered table. The dried-up food on the table was covered in flies and crawling with maggots. Helen ran outside and vomited for a long time. "Miles... bad child... bad child... give me mouse... big mouse..." Grandpa chased after her barefoot, hunched over, with messy hair and a filthy face. He looked like a madman who had lived too long in the mountains. Before he even came close, the thick stench had already filled the air. Helen held out a hand to stop him. "Dad, don't come over. You stink! "I left five hundred dollars on the table for you and Miles. Tell him to spend it carefully. "I'll come to see him next time." My soul followed her out and watched her disgusted expression numbly. Just as she was about to hurry away, a video call came in on her phone. The contact name was: Husband. Chapter 3 "I saw Dad. I didn't see Miles. Dad said Miles went to catch mice again. He's still so naughty at his age." Helen's tone was full of disdain as she summarized what she'd seen. I leaned in and looked at Dad on the video call. His hair was combed back until it shone. He wore an expensive suit, and his skin looked good. Everything about him carried the air of wealth that money brings. Behind him was a bright, finely decorated home. A pang of bitterness went through me. So they had been living well in the city all along. Like a fool, I'd always thought life in the city must have been hard for them. That was why I never dared to call. The only time I called was three days before I starved to death. Maybe after pain has piled up long enough, it no longer makes waves. I just stood numbly beside Helen. "Honey," Dad said after thinking for a moment, "why don't we bring Dad and Miles to the city? "No one is left in the village. It's inconvenient for Miles to go to school there. Dad is old too. Our situation is better now." My shattered heart was stitched together a little, and my eyes shone with surprise. Mom didn't love me, but Dad still cared. I stared at Dad and smiled. Even though he couldn't see me. Helen sighed deeply. Her sigh was full of disappointment, disgust, and hopelessness. She covered her nose and walked back into the house, pointing the camera inside. "Look. Miles has turned the house into a landfill. "I want to bring him back too, but look at how filthy he is. How am I supposed to bring him home like this?" I felt terribly wronged and muttered stiffly, "I'm not filthy." What can a five-year-old do? I've been dead for five years, and you still don't know. "Let me see Brother's house! I want to see!" A bright, lively voice came from the video. An eight-year-old boy in a little suit appeared on the screen, looking like a small prince. He was my little brother, Mason. He had been raised so well. His skin was tender and pale, smooth as porcelain. Confident. Lively. Like the little prince of a rich family. The smile on his face vanished when he saw the broken-down house on the video. His disgusted expression was exactly like Helen's. "His house is so dirty. Even a landfill isn't that dirty. "I won't let him come to our house. He's so unhygienic. He'll bring in so many germs!" Oh. So in their hearts, I wasn't family. Daniel hurriedly pulled Mason into his arms and coaxed him, "All right, all right. We'll listen to our little prince. We won't bring your brother back yet. "When he fixes his hygiene habits and becomes a clean child, we'll bring him back, okay?" Mason pouted arrogantly and tugged Daniel's hand. "Let him see my room. When his room is as clean as mine, then he can come." With complete superiority, Mason showed every corner of his room to the camera. "Mom, let him see what a boy's room is supposed to look like. "I don't want a brother who lives in a trash heap." I stared at Mason's room. He had a soft, beautifully designed prince-style bed. The room was bright and cute, with an entire cabinet of neatly arranged toys and figurines. His room was huge, connected to a transparent walk-in closet. Inside, clothes of every color and style hung in rows. The carpet was white and fluffy, like clouds underfoot. I just looked at it, my mind going blank. My heart was already full of holes. I couldn't even find the strength to hate or resent them. "Your brother is only like this because he's in the countryside. Once he comes to the city, he won't be like that anymore. "When your brother comes, you'll have one more person to play with and one more person to take care of you. Isn't that good?" Daniel's coaxing words stabbed my heart like knives. I hated that sentence most of all. You're the older brother, so you should take care of him. You should give way to your little brother. Chapter 4 After the video call ended, Mom took a pen and paper from her bag. She wrote a few lines on it. "Miles, Mom is going back for now. "You've made the house far too dirty and messy. Mom will give you one month. Clean the house and yourself properly. "One month from now, Mom will come check. If your hygiene is acceptable, Mom will bring you and Grandpa to the city. "If you fail, you'll stay here and keep reforming yourself." After she finished writing, she looked hesitantly toward the house. In the end, she stuffed the note into Grandpa's leaky pocket. "Dad, this note is for Miles. Make sure he sees it. "I'm going back for now. Tell Miles I'll come again in a month." With that, she hurried away without looking back. I watched her back and cried while laughing. Grandpa stared blankly after her for a long time. "Grandpa, let's go back inside. Don't stand in the sun." The blazing sun drew sweat from his hair, but he just stood there blankly, not even knowing to wipe it away. Maybe he was simply hard to kill. Even after several heatstrokes, he had pulled through. "Miles... Miles... mice... eating flies..." He started mumbling nonsense again. I watched helplessly as he was left to fend for himself, just as I had once been. But Grandpa, I still don't want to be reunited with you. I ran into the house, anxious and frantic, trying to clean up. But my hands couldn't pick anything up. I stamped my feet and cried in panic. "Grandpa, I can't help you anymore. What do we do? What do we do?" He only chuckled and picked up the maggot-infested food from the table, eating it. I cried even louder, nearly tearing my throat apart as I tried to make him hear me. Again and again, I told him not to eat it. But everything was useless. One month later, Helen and Daniel came back together. This time, their hands were empty. I pouted and complained, "What are you back for? Mason is your only treasure. Don't come back and disgust me." They couldn't hear me. Instead, I heard plenty from them as they complained that I was filthy and disobedient. By coincidence, Mr. Harper came to bring Grandpa food. He knew Grandpa couldn't cook, so he only brought enough cooked food for one day. There was meat and vegetables, and the meat was stewed soft enough for Grandpa to chew. The rest was water, bread, cookies, instant noodles, and other dry food. When Mr. Harper saw my dad, he was both surprised and angry. Out of politeness, he didn't explode. "You finally remembered you have an elderly father at home who can't take care of himself." Daniel smiled awkwardly and found an excuse for himself. "These years have been hard while we were struggling outside. Now that things are a little better, we've come back to bring him with us. "Thank you so much for looking after my father." Mr. Harper smiled faintly and said nothing. Helen looked at the room, still completely untouched, covered her nose, and complained again, "What's wrong with Miles? I told him to clean up. I came to bring him away! "He didn't clean up at all! This child is enough to drive someone mad!" Daniel also looked nauseated, but in front of others, he held it in. Mr. Harper looked suspicious. "Wasn't Miles taken to the city by you years ago?"