I Chose Dignity When She Chose Her Affair

My wife, Sophie Souza, cheats on me when she gets drunk. That's when she gets pregnant with her assistant, Dylan Hart's baby. By the time I come across Sophie's pregnancy report, she's already three months into her pregnancy. I tell her outright that I will choose to forgive her as long as she aborts the baby. But Sophie asks me coldly, "Which one will you choose? Me or your dignity?" I remain silent for a very long time afterward. In the end, I leave a divorce agreement behind and completely vanish from Sophie's world. But that's when she claims that she regrets making me choose. Chapter 1 I always thought Sophie Souza and I would be happy together forever. The prenatal report was sitting right there on the nightstand, not yet put away, and I saw it plain as day. But when Sophie and I first got together, she told me she didn't want children. I loved her too much to make her go through any kind of procedure, so to make sure there were no accidents, I went to the hospital myself and got a vasectomy. Now that report hit me like a slap across the face. My mind went blank. All I wanted was to find her and get some answers. I stood outside her office building and dialed her number. "Soph, are you done with work yet?" She sounded like she was in a good mood. "Not yet. What's up, Miles? Is something going on?" "Come home early tonight. I'll cook you something nice." She hesitated. "Miles, I really wish I could. I love your cooking. But there's so much going on at the office today, and I've got a client dinner tonight, so I probably can't make it home. I'm sorry." By the end, she actually sounded guilty about it. "Don't push yourself too hard. Get some rest," I said. I hung up and looked across the street at Sophie, sitting not far from where I stood. Across the table from her was her assistant, Dylan Hart. Dylan picked up a slice of apple and gently fed it to her. Sophie gazed at him with pure happiness on her face. A chill crept through my body. I started shaking and couldn't stop. I had no idea how I made it home. I sat alone in the empty living room as that smile of hers, that look of perfect happiness she'd been wearing, played over and over in my head. Tangled up with it were older memories, the way she looked when she told me she loved me, and the tears in her eyes when she said yes to my proposal. The pain in my chest wouldn't let up, even as everything in me was screaming to hold it together. Meanwhile, the oversized wedding portrait on the wall looked like a cruel joke. Sophie didn't come home all night. Why? Why would she do this to me when I loved her this much? She told me she loved me too. I still needed to hear it from her. I went to her office the next morning, but they said Sophie wasn't in. I found them outside the hospital. Dylan was at her side, one hand hovering near her arm, guiding her every step. Sophie laughed at him. "The baby's only three months along. You really don't need to hold me up yet." "Doesn't matter. You and the baby mean everything to me. Of course I'm going to be careful." The happiness on Sophie's face disappeared the second she noticed me. She motioned for Dylan to wait nearby, then walked toward me, unhurried. "Miles, what are you doing here? Are you okay?" I looked at her and said nothing. She reached for my hand, but I pulled away. I couldn't hold it in anymore. "Tell me about the pregnancy." I'd been awake all night, and the redness around my eyes must have gotten to Sophie. She let out a quiet breath, looking conflicted. "It was an accident, Miles. Let me explain." "Mr. Norris, don't blame Sophie for this. It really was an accident." Dylan walked over, perfectly composed. Every wall I'd built inside myself collapsed the moment he stepped forward. I swung with everything I had and drove my fist straight into his face. "Miles, what the hell are you doing?" Sophie didn't even look at me. She rushed over and dropped to the ground beside Dylan, pulling him up. He stared at me in disbelief, looking so wounded and helpless that Sophie only held him tighter. "Have you completely lost your mind? You know Dylan's never been strong. If something happens to him, that's on you!" Chapter 2 The lashing didn't stop. Every word out of Sophie's mouth cut into me like a knife. "Soph…" I called her name, but she was too busy fussing over Dylan even to turn around. She checked him over, looking for injuries, completely ignoring me. Dylan, on the other hand, looked right at me. His gaze was full of smugness, as if he were daring me to do something about it. I couldn't take it. I grabbed Sophie and pulled her into my arms. "Sophie, how could you do this to me?" The way my voice broke must have gotten through to her, because she stopped yelling. She rubbed my back gently. "Miles, just listen to me. Go home first, okay?" I held on tighter, like the second I let go, she'd be gone for good. "Come home with me… Please." I was practically begging, but it didn't reach her. She pushed me away like it was nothing. "Just calm down and stop making a scene, okay? I've still got things to deal with. I'll come home when I'm done." Behind her, Dylan's expression grew even bolder. The more he gloated, the more determined I was not to let him win. I gritted my teeth, grabbed Sophie's arm, and started pulling her toward the hospital entrance. If the baby was gone, Sophie wouldn't leave me. She fought against my grip, trying to wrench free. "What are you doing, Miles? Let go of me! Let go!" A sharp crack rang out. Her palm connected with my face. Sophie had slapped me. "Have you lost your mind?" she snapped. Her eyes blazed with fury, but the second she saw the red mark spreading across my cheek, she froze. She'd never once raised her voice at me before, and now she'd hit me in the face over another man. I froze too. The sting spread fast, hot and sharp, radiating from my skin all the way down into my chest until everything burned. Tears slid down my face before I even realized it. Sophie didn't know what to say. She didn't try to explain. She just took my hand and walked me away, leaving Dylan standing there behind us. She came home with me after all. But the Miles who loved her was already gone. The Miles who would have done anything for her had died right there outside that hospital, killed by the crack of her hand across his face. Back at the apartment, she found a cold towel and pressed it gently to my cheek. Her face was pinched with worry, her eyes glistening with tears she hadn't let fall yet. She knew exactly what she was doing. She knew that the moment she cried, I'd cave and forgive everything. I just watched her, this woman I once believed I'd spend the rest of my life with. Neither of us said a word. She sniffled quietly, then got up and went to the kitchen to cook for me. She always did that whenever I was upset. I could still remember the very first time she cooked for me. She'd gotten flour all over her face and looked like a stray kitten, crouching in front of me and holding out a plate of pasta. "Don't be mad anymore, okay? I messed up, I know. But look, I made you dinner." Her eyes had been so bright, looking up at me with that helpless little pout. In that moment, I swore I would never let anything in this world hurt her. The memory pulled a faint smile to my lips before I could stop it. But when I looked back toward the kitchen, my vision had already blurred with tears. Was the Sophie who loved me still in there somewhere? It didn't matter either way. We could never go back to what we were. I knew with all my heart that there was no future left for Sophie and me. Chapter 3 I ate the food Sophie made me slowly, savoring every bite as if it were a five-course meal. She'd really gotten better at cooking over the years. After all this time, I'd never once gotten tired of her pasta. She leaned against my shoulder and started explaining everything. "I had too much to drink that night. He was covering for me, taking my drinks, and then we both ended up wasted. It all happened so fast, and I didn't have time to tell you. "I only found out I was pregnant about a month ago. He's been really good to me, really attentive. I told him I'm not getting a divorce, and he said he doesn't mind. "After a while, I realized that having a baby might actually be a good thing. When I got the confirmation, I was so happy. I decided to keep it." Sophie's hand drifted to her stomach, still flat, and she rubbed it gently. She looked at me again. "We could raise the baby together, watch her grow up together. We could—" "Sophie," I said, cutting her off. "That's not my child." I'd already lost any chance of being a father, and here she was painting me a future with someone else's baby. There was no crueler thing she could have said to me. Even without the baby, what happened between her and Dylan was something I could never accept. I wasn't stupid. I knew exactly what Dylan was after. Drunk and out of control? There was no such thing. That was just the excuse Dylan fed her, or maybe it was the excuse she was feeding me. "Maybe you could try thinking of the baby as yours," Sophie said, still patient and coaxing. "And what about Dylan?" I needed to know what she planned to do about the other man. She actually laughed, like I'd said something silly. "Oh, is that what you're worried about?" She took my hand. "Relax. I'm not going to leave you, and I'm definitely not going to divorce you for him. All I care about is this baby." I stared at her, half-believing, half-doubting, and tried to force myself to take her at her word. Then her phone rang. She glanced at the screen, didn't answer, and hung up. "Stay home and rest. Don't overthink things, okay?" She stood up to leave. I wanted to try one last time. "Soph, could you do this for me? Don't keep the baby. Medicine has come so far now. Maybe we could still have a chance to have our own kids someday. We could—" She cut me off. "That's enough, Miles. Stop being ridiculous." Impatience crept into her voice. "This isn't up for discussion. I'm having this baby." I let go of her hand. "Okay. I get it. Just come back soon." She didn't say anything else. A moment later, the apartment was empty again, and it was just me. Sophie thought I hadn't seen the screen, but I saw it perfectly clearly. The caller was Dylan. She was rushing out to see him. That was all there was to it. After that, Sophie stopped pretending. She spent more and more nights away from home. But she still called me every day, reminding me to eat, telling me to take care of myself. I didn't know what to feel anymore. Everything was tangled up inside me, bitter and confused and raw. The only thing I could think to do was go out drinking with a friend. "I've never seen you two fight. I thought things were always great between you guys." I laughed bitterly and couldn't think of a single thing to say back. My friend was right. Things had always been great. She gave me her promises. She gave me her word. She just happened to be carrying another man's child. The bitterness in my glass hit a little harder after that. Chapter 4 The neon signs around me started to blur, and my head felt heavy. I figured I should get home while I still had enough sense to find my way. The second I stepped outside, I saw Sophie and Dylan not far down the street, arm in arm and taking a walk together. Half my buzz vanished on the spot. My friend, Owen Jacklin, saw them too, but he didn't know what to say. Then, an idea hit me. "Call Sophie for me. Tell her I'm drunk and I need her to come pick me up," I said. Owen hesitated, but he made the call. If she came for me right away, I'd forgive everything, the affair, the baby, all of it. One second, two seconds, three, and then the flat tone of a rejected call. They were already out of sight, but I kept staring in the direction they'd gone. Something hardened inside me in that moment, something I couldn't let go of. Owen looked at me but said nothing. "Call again." He dialed. She hung up again. I wouldn't accept it. I kept making him call. Finally, she picked up. "Hey, Miles, what's going on? I was in the middle of something, and my phone was on silent, so I didn't hear you. Is something urgent?" Owen waited until she was done, glanced at me, then spoke. "I'm a friend of Miles's. He's pretty drunk. Can you come get him?" There was silence on the other end for a few seconds. "I can't get away right now. Could you just take him home for me?" Then she hung up. Everything around me went quiet. The only sound was the dead tone of a disconnected line. After a long moment, I let out a bitter laugh. I told Owen to go home. I wanted to be alone for a while. It was late, and the streets were mostly empty. I just walked, replaying everything Sophie and I used to have over and over in my head. She'd been like sunlight breaking into a life that had been nothing but shadows, pulling me out of the mud and giving me something bright to hold on to. She gave me something that felt like hope and happiness. I believed she loved me. Maybe she always had. Without realizing it, I wandered into an unfamiliar neighborhood. Then I heard Sophie's voice coming from somewhere nearby. I ducked into the shadows. Two silhouettes passed right by me. "You need to take it easy now and stop running around everywhere. Don't worry about the company for a while. I'll handle things." That was Dylan. Sophie laughed softly. "Okay, okay, I know. When did you get so naggy…" Their voices faded down the street. I watched Sophie and Dylan walk into a house together. Warm light spilled through the doorway, bright enough to illuminate every miserable thing I was feeling. I stood there staring at that glow as it flickered on, then dimmed. I stayed there until morning. When Sophie and Dylan finally came out, I couldn't stop myself from following. I pulled out my phone and called her. She picked up fast this time. "Miles? You sobered up?" "Yeah. I'm fine." "Don't drink so much next time, okay? It's bad for you." Her concern was as gentle as it had always been. "Where are you right now? Can you come home and just be with me for a while?" But even as the words left my mouth, I realized I wasn't really expecting anything. "I'm still at the office. I've got a doctor's appointment after this. Just rest at home, and I'll come back tonight to be with you." I already knew the answer would be another disappointment. I'd gotten so used to it by now that it barely even registered. "Okay. I'll be waiting." I stopped walking and didn't follow any further. I turned around and headed in the opposite direction. Chapter 5 I went home and spent the rest of the day doing nothing, just sitting there and staring at the walls. At some point, while sitting in the bedroom, something crossed my mind. I went back and forth on it a few times, but eventually I made up my mind and did it. Afterward, I realized I was hungry. I got up, went to the kitchen, and started frying an egg. The pan sizzled, and the smell of the egg drifted through the apartment. I ended up zoning out again, just standing there watching the egg cook, until Sophie's voice snapped me out of it. "That smells amazing. Are you making eggs?" I looked up, startled to see her standing in the doorway. "Perfect timing, I'm starving too." I almost couldn't believe it. I thought I was seeing things until she walked over and wrapped her arms around me. "I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately," she said. I held her back. "It's okay." "Can you make me your pasta? I've been craving it." She smiled at me, eyes soft and warm, exactly the way she looked the first time we met. "Sure." I watched her walk to the counter, but the ache in my chest wouldn't stop. How did we end up here? I ate the pasta slowly this time, so slowly that I couldn't even bring myself to look up at her. I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn't be able to hold back the tears. Sophie noticed something was off and rushed over. "What's wrong, Miles? Are you crying?" The worry in her eyes was something I'd carry with me for the rest of my life. She still cared about me. So why did she keep doing things that broke me apart? I looked at her and asked, very calmly, "Would you end the pregnancy for me?" Her brow furrowed. "And if I said no?" "If you end it, I'll forgive everything. I'll let all of it go." The tenderness from a moment ago vanished, replaced by something cold. "Fine. Then answer me this. Which one will you choose? Me or your dignity?" I didn't answer. I just looked at her for a long time. That was how dinner ended, and the conversation with it, bitter and unfinished. By the time the sun came up the next morning, Sophie was already gone. I let out a quiet sigh, got up, and started packing. It turned out I didn't own much. Everything I had fit into one small suitcase. I took one last look around the apartment, at every corner of the room we'd shared, then set the divorce papers I'd prepared on the pillow on Sophie's side of the bed. It was time for me to leave too. Before I ever had a chance to choose, Sophie had already made hers. Between that baby and me, she picked the baby. As for the question she asked me? I had my answer now. I didn't want her anymore. She was the one who decided first, not me. Sophie had been giving me the cold shoulder over our argument, and she hadn't come home or reached out in days. Whenever she got upset, I was always the one who caved, the one who apologized, the one who bent first. So she was waiting, waiting for me to accept everything and come crawling back. But this time, she'd be waiting for nothing, because I'd already left the city. It took Sophie a full week to realize I was gone. When she finally called, I was sitting in the yard of a little countryside cottage, soaking up the sun. "Hello?" I hadn't checked the name on the screen before picking up. The other end was silent at first. I pulled the phone away to look. It was Sophie. She didn't say a word, like she was waiting for me to explain myself. "Oh, Ms. Souza. What can I do for you?" The formality caught her off guard. "What's that supposed to mean, Miles?" She was barely keeping her anger in check. "Are you calling about the divorce papers? It's pretty straightforward. I want a divorce. What, can't you read?"