Twelve Years Gone, Like The Wind

When I first caught Miles cheating on me, I pinned him down at the entrance whenever he came home every day. I would pull down his pants and spray high-concentration alcohol all over his nether regions. He always went along with it with teary eyes because he knew he had been in the wrong. He would only look at me with a pitiful gaze and coax me to stop. One day, he came home two hours late. I became mad when I smelled the perfume on him. I started taking off his belt forcefully and yelled, “Last time, when you had your fun with one woman, you came home half an hour late. “Now you’re two hours late. Talk! Did you sleep with four?” Even though he apologized to me for the twenty-ninth time, I pushed him away repeatedly. He finally raised his hand to show me the IV mark on the back of it. He snapped and screamed at me, “Enough! I was dying with a high fever, yet you haven’t even asked how I’m doing. You just fly off the handle every single day. When are you going to stop? “Fine, I got drunk and slept with someone once. Big deal. You’re not so innocent yourself. “It’s no wonder you got dragged into an alley at sixteen, stripped, and assaulted. Jenna, you’re a paranoid wreck. You may have even deserved it.” The spray bottle shattered at my feet, and the smell of alcohol caught in my throat. I was speechless. I felt exhausted when I saw his disgusted expression. I did not want this broken relationship any longer. Chapter 1 The doorway was dead silent. The door was not fully closed. Miles’ two friends, who had sent him home, stood there looking uncomfortable and tried to calm things down. “Jenna, Miles is truly not himself today because of the fever. He didn’t mean to snap at you. “Besides, you spray him with alcohol every single day. Nobody would put up with that. Just let it go. “Yeah, he broke it off entirely with that drunk hookup a long time ago.” Just the mention of the incident made my stomach lurch with a violent surge of nausea. At sixteen, I was dragged into a dark back alley by my stepbrother and his group of friends. While my clothes were being torn apart, eighteen-year-old Miles had rushed over with teary eyes and chased them off with a brick. He had taken off his school jacket and wrapped it around my shaking body. He had held me and cried even louder than I did. He had comforted me and said that he would beat up anyone who dared to touch me. Because of that nightmare, I was extremely averse to intimacy even after we got married. Any physical contact would make my whole body tremble. Back then, Miles would hold me and gently kiss my forehead while repeatedly reassuring me, saying, “Don’t be afraid, Jenna. It’s okay. No matter how long it takes, I’ll wait for you.” Everything changed six months ago. He had a flare-up of his stomach condition, so I had gone to his base late at night to deliver his medication. That was when I walked in and witnessed the entire incident. The new psychological counselor, Wendy, was pinned down on the couch as he passionately kissed her. He was panting hard with his face buried in her neck. The way he moved was wild and completely out of control. He had never been like that with me. Wendy’s black lace undergarments blatantly lay atop his rescue uniform. It was the same uniform that symbolized his honor. Caught red-handed, he had cried as he knelt and swore he had just gotten drunk and mistook her for me. For twelve whole years, I had thought he was my savior who pulled me out of a dark place. Who would have known that the very person who pulled me out of a dark place would push me into another? As I gathered my thoughts, Miles also seemed to sober up a bit. He approached me and tried to embrace my head. “Jenna, I’m sorry. I was mad and talking nonsense. I really do have a fever and a bad headache.” His voice softened and he sounded regretful. I stepped back and avoided his reaching hand. “Go get some rest.” Miles’ hand froze in midair. He frowned and seemed a little uneasy. He tried to come closer again. “Jenna, just let me explain—” I interrupted him. “I’m tired.” I walked into the guest room and locked the door from the inside. Through the door, I heard his two friends help him into the master bedroom. They whispered that since I was not making a scene, the matter was over. Was it really over? I leaned against the door and slowly slid down to sit on the floor. No, it was not. This relationship was already shattered. I did not want to keep going. Chapter 2 #Early the next morning, Miles was still asleep when I left the house with a thermos. Even though this marriage had already fallen apart, I still went to the city hospital. My mother-in-law, Ruth, had been hospitalized for nearly a year with severe kidney failure. I had been taking care of her day and night. I considered it my duty as a daughter-in-law. When I entered the hospital room, Ruth was complimenting me to the family members who were visiting her. “I’ve gotten through this illness all because of Jenna. She’s a hundred times more devoted than my own real daughter could ever be.” When she saw me come in, she smiled broadly and quickly asked me to take a seat. I ladled out the soup I had simmered all night and placed it in her hands. “Ruth, drink it while it’s hot. Miles had a fever last night. I have to get back and check on him in a bit.” Ruth took the bowl of soup and drank it. Her phone was propped up on the small table, playing a video for her to watch. It suddenly rang. It was a FaceTime call from a contact named “Wendy.” It was inconvenient for Ruth to pick up her call since she was drinking the soup. She used her chin to indicate the phone and said, “Jenna, help me answer that call, would you? It’s probably Miles’ little cousin.” I did not think too much about it. I reached out and swiped the answer button. When I saw that familiar young face, my expression froze. It was Wendy, the same woman who had been involved with Miles during his drunken incident half a year ago. In the video, she held a little boy about three-years-old in her arms. The boy sweetly called out to the camera, “Grandma! Look at the car Daddy bought me!” Wendy complained coquettishly, “Ruth, Miles drank too much here last night and had a fever. I let him sleep in a little. “I wonder if that crazy woman lost her mind on him again just because he came home late.” The atmosphere in the hospital room instantly turned tense. Ruth trembled in fear and dropped the scalding hot soup all over the blanket. “J-Jenna! Let me explain!” Ignoring her own burns, she rushed over to grab the phone. I stepped back and stared intensely at the child on the screen. He looked just like Miles. Chills ran down my spine. “Is this Miles’ ‘little cousin’ that you’ve been talking about?” Caught red-handed, Ruth sighed and dropped all pretenses. Her expression was filled with sympathy and helplessness as she took my hand and spoke earnestly, “Jenna, please don’t blame Miles for hiding this from you. For four years, Wendy has swallowed her pride and never asked to be official.” Four years? My mind went blank. My stomach dropped. I suddenly found it impossible to breathe. Did this mean that Wendy’s existence was not just a drunken accident half a year ago? Ruth gently patted the back of my hand and tried to persuade me softly, “I watched you grow up, Jenna. I care about you. But you have to think about Miles, too. “With the trauma you suffered, you won’t let him touch you for ten days or even two weeks at a time. He’s a healthy, robust man. “You can’t make him live like a monk forever just because of your issues. “Wendy said the kid will call you ‘Mom’, too. You’re still the true daughter-in-law of the Lumb family. “Nothing changes. Wendy will never get in your way. Isn’t that good enough?” ... My legs instantly gave way. I collapsed onto the chair behind me. After that, I stopped registering a single word Ruth said. My memories and the truth kept clashing in my head. It felt like I was being torn apart. Four years. Every time Miles went out of town for rescue missions, he stayed on a voice call with me all night. He said he knew I would feel insecure and was afraid of the dark. Listening to his breathing would let me fall asleep. Once, he got into danger in a disaster zone. He even risked his life to find a backup battery to report regularly to me throughout the night. What I believed to be his total devotion had been a lie. All those all-night calls he made were just to keep me calm. Was Wendy lying right next to him the whole time? Was the child sleeping soundly beside him, too? He had lain with another woman and her child. At the same time, he soothed me on the phone. I was the clueless fool on the line. I felt completely overwhelmed by how absurd the situation was. I stood up, ignored Ruth, and stumbled out of the hospital room. Since everyone else’s idea of a happy ending did not include me, I might as well just give up on being his wife. Chapter 3 The next day, I requested time off from work. I stayed home to pack my luggage. There was not much to take. A few changes of clothes and my identification documents were enough. Just then, the doorbell rang. I thought it was the courier delivering the divorce agreement via local same-day service. When I opened the door, I was stunned to see Wendy. She wore a pure white cashmere coat, holding the little boy from the video by the hand. I gripped the door handle so tightly that my knuckles turned white from the pressure. “Jenna, aren’t you going to invite me in?” She studied my pale face with undisguised smugness. “I don’t think I made myself clear enough in our previous video call. So I brought Harry here specially to see you.” She deliberately pushed the child forward as if she were showing off. “Harry is about to start kindergarten. Miles is always feeling bad that his son doesn’t have a complete family. “He said that since Harry is the Lumb family’s firstborn grandson, he wants me and Harry to officially move in. Looking at the child who bore a resemblance to Miles made an intense wave of nausea churn in my stomach. “Get out!” I yelled furiously as I pointed in the direction of the elevator. “Get out of my house with your illegitimate child!” I did not want to look at them for another second. I forcefully tried to slam the door shut. Wendy reached out and jammed her hand firmly into the crack of the door. She leaned close to my ear and let out a scornful, cold laugh. “Jenna, what are you acting so high and mighty for? Do you really think Miles actually loves you? “He told me himself. Every time he lies in bed with you, he has to take sleeping pills just to keep from throwing up. “The second he touches you, all he sees in his head is those guys back then climbing all over you.” She stared into my eyes and stepped closer, one step at a time. “He also said you’re so dirty that you do nothing for him. So he had to come to me. He said that he only wanted a clean body like mine.” I finally snapped. The nightmare from when I was sixteen had taken me twelve full years to heal from. He had used it as a punchline in bed with his mistress. “How dare you bring that up!” I lost all composure. I screamed and raised my hand, then put every ounce of strength I had into slapping her. It made an extremely sharp, crisp sound. The force of the slap made Wendy stumble. Her forehead slammed hard into the corner of the shoe cabinet by the doorway. Blood trickled down immediately. Harry started crying loudly. Wendy clutched her bleeding forehead and scrambled backward, barely staying on her hands and knees. “You crazy psycho! Just you wait!” She grabbed Harry and stumbled into the elevator. My strength drained away as I slid down the door frame and sat on the floor. I closed my eyes as I felt a wave of cold. Once I made up my mind, I pulled out the ultrasound report from under the coffee table and tore it into pieces. I had been looking forward to it for six months. The surprise I had planned to give Miles felt like a slap across my own face. It stung badly. Half an hour later, a lawyer delivered the divorce papers. I signed them and placed them right in the middle of the coffee table. It was raining very heavily outside. I pulled my suitcase and got ready to leave. Just then, I heard a loud bang at the door. Miles kicked the front door open from the outside. Before I could react, he charged straight at me and grabbed my throat. “Jenna! Where is Harry?” Chapter 4 His grip was so tight that I could not breathe. I desperately slapped his hand. “Cough... Harry?” Miles flung me aside in a rage. He kicked the coffee table over with one stomp. “Wendy told me everything! You went after her like a psycho this afternoon! “She took Harry to the pharmacy to get his cut bandaged. The second she turned around, he was gone! “Who else would kidnap a three-year-old besides you?!” I coughed violently. I looked at the enraged Miles in disbelief. “I never even left the house! Miles, are you insane?!” “You’re the insane one!” He looked extremely anxious. He pointed at me and yelled, “You’ve been spraying me with alcohol every single day for six months. You’ve been messed up in the head for a long time. Now, you won’t even leave an innocent kid alone! “Call the people you hired now!” I gritted my teeth and stepped backward. “I told you I haven’t seen him! If you can’t handle it, then divorce me!” I turned to grab the divorce papers off the table. “You’re not going anywhere today until you tell me where Harry is,” he said angrily as he grabbed me by the back of my collar. The immense force tore my dress apart. Buttons were scattered all over the floor, exposing my body. Before I could react, he seized my wrist and dragged me toward the washroom with all his strength like he was hauling a prisoner. “Miles, what are you doing? Let go of me!” I screamed in terror. At that moment, I could barely tell the difference between Miles’ hands and the hands of those men from the alley when I was sixteen. “Until you tell me where Harry is, I’m going to knock some sense into you today!” He kicked open the washroom door and slammed my body into the ice-cold bathtub. He then turned on the shower. Freezing cold water poured straight down on me from above. I choked on the water and struggled violently. I tried to crawl out of the bathtub. “Cough... help...” Miles unbuckled his belt, pinned my hands behind my back, and tied them tightly to the metal handle of the bathtub. I thrashed my body wildly as it shook violently in the icy water. Miles turned and pulled out that large bucket of high-concentration disinfectant alcohol from under the sink. He unscrewed the cap and poured the pungent alcohol directly over my head and body. “Don’t you love tormenting people with alcohol? Talk! Where’s Harry?” The alcohol smell was so strong I could not breathe. It made my eyes sting. Miles did not care. He forced my head down again and held it under the disinfectant water in the bathtub. I choked so hard that I could only mumble a few unclear sounds. A violent spasm twisted in my stomach. “It hurts so bad—” Before I finished speaking, a sharp, extreme cramp cut through my lower abdomen like a knife. Warm liquid ran down the inside of my thigh. The warmth mixed into the cold bathwater instantly turned into a bright red pool. I just stared at the blood spreading in the water. I forgot to fight. Just then, the phone he had thrown on the sink started ringing. Seeing the caller, he hesitated for a moment before answering the call. From the other end of the line came a policeman’s voice, sounding resigned. “Is this Mr. Lumb? Your kid isn’t missing!” “He went up to the mall rooftop to play on the slide by himself. When we found him, he was eating an ice cream cone. “You parents couldn’t even keep an eye on your own child. Then you insist it was some planned kidnapping and attempted murder. Aren’t you just wasting police resources?” In an instant, only the sound of the shower spraying water remained in the bathroom. The phone and the alcohol bucket in Miles’ hands crashed to the floor. He turned to look at me. His face turned deathly pale.