My Husband’s Regret After I Cheated

Three years into our marriage, I finally learned from my husband. I went looking for love somewhere else. Three years ago, when his family went bankrupt, I handed him every cent I had. I nursed his dying grandfather. To support his entrepreneurial venture, I accompanied investors in drinking until I suffered stomach hemorrhages—time and time again. In the end, he honored his grandfather's dying wish and married me. Then he got blind drunk on our wedding day and walked out before the vows were finished. He said he hated me. Hated me for driving his childhood sweetheart Seraphina away. Hated me for costing him the only woman he ever loved. Our marriage was his revenge. Until the day Seraphina came home, and I slid the divorce papers across the table. The man who swore he hated me went red in the eyes, staring at the kiss mark on my throat… Chapter 1 Ethan's message came in while Lucas and I were having breakfast across from each other. Ethan Harrington was the man I'd chosen to cheat with. Young, full of heat, eager and obedient where it counted. My phone buzzed a few times on the table, which earned me a glance from the man across from me. I unlocked the screen and his messages flew in one after another. "When are you divorcing him?" "Baby, you promised you'd own up to us. You said you'd give me a real place in your life." "I don't want to do this in the shadows anymore. I want to be with you out in the open." The string of messages made me wince. I scrolled all the way down and found a photo attached at the bottom. He was still sleepy, just out of bed. His robe hung half-open, the ridges of his abs catching the light in a way that could've stopped traffic. The sheer pull of it hit me before I could brace for it. Heat crawled up my face. I caught Lucas's eyes flicking toward me and quickly killed the screen, bowing my head over my bowl and avoiding his gaze. Lucas didn't bother to press it. He set down his own bowl and said, unhurried, "Seraphina is flying in today. My parents and I are taking her to the welcome-home dinner tonight." "It's a family dinner. You don't need to come. No reason to make her uncomfortable." The words family dinner stung more than I wanted to admit. Seraphina and I were the kind of pair you only read about in novels. The real daughter and the switched-in daughter. Except she, the fake, had sunk her roots in long before I ever stepped foot in that house. Not blood, but closer than blood. A few tears from her and my own parents would look at me with disgust. To keep her happy, I wasn't allowed to carry the Ashford name. I wasn't even allowed inside the Ashford estate. I was shelved somewhere out of sight, like something they were embarrassed to keep. Naturally, dinners like tonight weren't something an "outsider" like me was expected to attend. Still, Lucas's words left me speechless. What exactly did Seraphina have to be upset about? My parents had always taken her side. So had my husband. Every one of them, every time. Not that I cared enough to bicker. My head was already somewhere else. If Seraphina was back, then maybe, finally, I could divorce Lucas. The realization made me jump up. I called after him, about to say something, but he cut me off, brow knitted in irritation. "Whatever it is, it can wait until I'm back. Don't make me late for the airport." The door slammed shut hard enough to rattle. I swallowed whatever I was going to say. Fine. Seraphina was back now. Even if I didn't bring it up, Lucas would. I'd sat in this cage for years. One more day wasn't going to kill me. Right on cue, my phone chimed. A new message, humming with innuendo. "No shoot today. Want to come over, baby?" This time the photo was of his bare chest, rising and tight. Between that and my mood, the low-simmering frustration in my chest burned off in an instant. I grabbed my phone and walked straight out the door. Chapter 2 The moment I stepped into the hotel suite, a large hand caught me around the waist and pinned me against the wall. His body pressed flush against mine, tall and solid, and his mouth sealed over mine before I could breathe. He was shirtless. His heat poured straight through the thin fabric of my blouse. I couldn't catch a breath. He caught my hands and pressed them to his chest. Under my palms I could feel his heartbeat, the cut lines of muscle, and whatever was left of my resolve went out from under me. Ethan Harrington. International supermodel. And, for the last year, the man I'd been sleeping with behind my husband's back. A long, lean build, a knife-edge V, eight-pack abs, a face that sold magazine covers. He had everything a man could possibly have, and then some. I couldn't really blame myself for losing my head. We came from the same orphanage. We'd known each other since we were small. The woman who'd switched me out of the Ashford family hadn't fared well afterward, so she did the simplest thing. She dumped me on the steps of Saint Clare's Home for Children. Back then I was still a small child who clung instinctively to the idea of a mother, and I used to cry myself to sleep at night. Ethan, also small, would pat my shoulder with clumsy hands and tell me that if I missed home so much, I could just pretend he was my mother. We'd even made a promise once: we'd stay with each other forever. We'd never be apart. And then he was adopted, and not long after, the Ashfords came and took me back, and we lost each other just like that. Until last year, at a runway show, when he spotted me in the audience. The moment the show ended, he came straight over. His first line to me had been: "That man doesn't deserve you. Be with me. I'll be your secret. I don't care if no one ever knows." A rough kiss pulled me out of the memory. In the blur of it, Ethan leaned down to my ear, voice gone husky. "Baby. When are you divorcing him? When do I get to replace him?" I thought of what Lucas had said this morning and paused. "Soon," I said. "Within the week, I think." Chapter 3 It was already the next morning when I got home. I pushed the door open and found Lucas sitting on the couch, clearly waiting for someone. "Where were you last night?" His voice came at my back, sharp. I didn't bother to answer. I kicked off my shoes and headed for the stairs. "Ivy. I'm asking you a question." Lucas's eyes swept over me, from head to foot, and landed on the side of my neck. On my pale, clean throat was a mark that hadn't been there yesterday. A kiss mark, dark and unmistakable, still fresh. Something flickered behind Lucas's eyes. Without a word, he lifted a hand and ran his fingers over the mark. A sting flared along my neck. I smacked his hand away. "Christ, Lucas, it's barely seven in the morning. What's your problem?" "Out all night. And then you walk in here wearing that." "Ivy. As your husband, I think I'm entitled to an explanation." I looked at him like I'd heard a joke. "Husband? Are you serious right now, Lucas?" "Tell me one thing in this marriage that looks like a marriage." "And as for being out all night," I shrugged, deliberately casual. "I don't mind telling you. I'm sleeping with someone." "Sleeping with someone?" He repeated it low, as if he wanted to grind the words between his teeth. I met his eyes without flinching. "That's right. You get to spend your life pining after Seraphina, and I'm not allowed to go find love of my own? Seraphina's back. Sign the divorce papers. Clear the way." I pulled the folder out of my bag and tossed it at him. It hit him in the chest. I'd drafted the papers on the drive home. I was done. I didn't want to spend one more minute inside this ridiculous marriage. If it hadn't been for Edmund Sterling, we would never have ended up here. Lucas had wanted one Mrs. Sterling, and it was never me. Chapter 4 I'll admit it. I used to be pathetic where he was concerned. All it had taken was the handkerchief he'd once handed me when I was hurt, and I'd carved the name Lucas Sterling into my head. Unlike the rest of them, he hadn't mocked me. He'd always been mild with me, polite, and when he happened to cross paths with me he'd ask after how I was doing. He was the only one who'd remember, on Seraphina's birthday, to have something set aside for me too. In a house of cold eyes and casual cruelty, those small gestures of his had felt like real kindness. I'd been grateful for them. So when the Sterling family went bankrupt, I pulled out everything I'd saved. I sat up with his sick grandfather when Lucas was burned out and stretched thin. I joined that ragtag company of his when they couldn't even afford a decent office, went to the work dinners he couldn't stomach, and drank myself into a bleeding ulcer so he wouldn't have to. Edmund Sterling's one dying wish was that the two of us would end up together. Lucas honored it. It was also the day Seraphina left the country. On our wedding day Lucas got blind drunk. He didn't even finish his vows before he walked out of the ceremony. That was the day I learned that there was only ever one woman in his heart, and it wasn't me. He said I'd cashed in his gratitude to trap him. He said I'd been the reason Seraphina's condition had flared up again, that I was the reason she and the man she loved would never be together. So Lucas made sure I didn't get to be happy either. Every divorce filing I submitted, he killed. Every job opportunity that came my way somehow fell apart. No freedom. No social life. He wanted me to sit inside this hollow marriage he'd been cornered into for the rest of my life. He wanted me stuck there. Forever. Chapter 5 "Huh. At least you know what you are." Lucas's fists closed and unclenched around the folder. Then, abruptly, a dry laugh broke out of him. "But when did I ever say I was letting you go?" "You made this bed, Ivy. You're sleeping in it. Whether you like it or not." "And from now on, don't let me see another mark on you. Ever." He looked away with something close to revulsion, like he couldn't stand to say more. He took the folder and walked out with long, quick strides. From the back, it honestly looked a little like he was running. I couldn't figure out what game he was playing now. I didn't want to. I went upstairs and crawled back into bed. When I woke up, there were a few unread messages waiting on my phone. From the Ashfords. They wanted me at the house. Something to discuss. That was novel. Since when was I, the outsider, invited to weigh in on Ashford business? I arrived at the estate at dusk, timed down to the minute. The moment I stepped into the foyer, the Ashfords' faces settled into disgust. "Taking your time, aren't you? Making your own parents wait. Real gracious of you." I ignored her and walked into the drawing room, cutting straight to the point. "If there's something to discuss, say it. I have places to be." Catherine's brow snapped together. She jabbed a finger at my face. "Watch the tone, Ivy! No upbringing at all. Not worth one hair on Seraphina's head!" I didn't even look at her. I just nodded along. "You're right. I had no mother or father worth the name. Of course I can't compare to your precious Seraphina." Catherine went pale with rage, mouth already open for another round. Richard caught her arm and pulled her back. He smoothed his face into something resembling a smile. "Ivy. I know you have reason to resent your mother and me. But however you feel about it, we're still family." I raised an eyebrow. For him to actually say that out loud, there had to be something he wanted badly. I was curious enough to wait. When I didn't bite, he continued on his own. "Seraphina was diagnosed during her trip home. Acute liver failure. The doctors say she needs a transplant immediately. They're looking for a matching donor." "And?" I said. Catherine couldn't wait for him to get there. "And what do you think? You donate part of your liver to Seraphina. For God's sake, Ivy, we raised you. It's time you paid some of it back. It's half a liver. It grows back. And Seraphina doesn't have time to wait on your attitude!" "Don't be selfish, Ivy!" So that was it. All of this was still, always, for Seraphina. I should have known these two didn't have a single decent intention. I rolled my eyes at both of them. "Why should I? If it's so easy, why don't you donate?" "You. You see? I knew it! An ingrate to the bone! A little favor and you can't even do that. Heart of stone!" When I still didn't cave, Richard's voice dropped. "Ivy. Agree to save Seraphina, and we'll have your name changed back. We'll acknowledge you as our daughter. Publicly." He said it like he was handing down a gift from on high. Like I should drop to my knees in gratitude. I'd seen enough of how shameless these two could be. I didn't even bother laughing. I stood up and walked out. And at the door I ran straight into two people coming in. Lucas, and the Seraphina I hadn't seen in three years. Chapter 6 "Ivy. It's been so long." Seraphina leaned against Lucas's chest and spoke in that soft, airy voice of hers. "You were just leaving? I have so much I want to tell you." She coughed a few times for good measure, and Lucas tightened his arm around her immediately. So that's what a man looks like when the woman he's been pining over for years is finally in his arms. I'd never actually seen him like that before. I let my mouth curve, not quite a smile. "Never mind the talking. You two have so much to catch up on. I wouldn't want to intrude. Unlike you, I haven't exactly been missing anyone." "Ivy, are you upset with me?" Her lips were white, tears trembling on her lashes. "Lucas was only worried my body couldn't handle the trip. That's the only reason he went with me to the hospital. Please don't misunderstand. I know the two of you are married." Lucas's brow was knotted tight. Probably blaming me all over again for making his precious Seraphina cry. Catherine had already started laying into me, every ugly word in her vocabulary thrown my way. When Catherine had finally worn herself out, Seraphina wiped her eyes and said, gently, "I'm sorry, Ivy. Mother only worries about me. She doesn't mean any harm. Please don't take it to heart." "I almost forgot. I brought you a gift from my trip. Even if you don't want to talk to me, at least take a look at it. It would mean a lot." I didn't want to see it. Seraphina wasn't in the habit of picking out presents for me out of kindness. But Catherine was already bristling, and I didn't have the patience for another scene tonight. I had plans with Ethan. I couldn't waste any more time here. I nodded and followed Seraphina upstairs. The bedroom door clicked shut, and Seraphina's frail-girl act dropped off her face in an instant. "Ivy. Come on. Come see what I picked out for you." She pulled out a ceramic figurine. A black-and-white spotted dog. "Look at it. Doesn't it look like that scruffy little mutt you used to have? What was her name again? Happy? Yes, Happy. I remember it died in agony, skinned alive." Seraphina ran a painted fingertip over the figurine. Her smile was sharp. Happy. Five years of my life. She'd been my family, that dog. But Seraphina tortured it to death while I was out working a shift. By the time I got home, all that was left was the bloody pelt. That was what Seraphina and I had fought about. That was what I'd been thrown out over, my living stipend cut off, kicked out of the only home I was allowed in. I was seventeen. From that day forward I never took another cent of Ashford money. Scholarships and part-time jobs. I'd carried myself the rest of the way. "Look at this ugly, stupid little thing," Seraphina said. "Doesn't it remind you of you?" "I remember it, you know. She wouldn't stop barking at me, so I had the gardener hold her down. You should've seen it, Ivy. Dumb little thing actually tried to bite me when I picked up the shears." "I took my time. She was still breathing when I buried her. I thought that was a nice touch." "Shut up!" I was shaking with rage. I didn't hesitate. My hand came up and the slap cracked across Seraphina's face. The figurine hit the floor and shattered. Seraphina went down with it, scooping up a shard and dragging it across her own arm to open a long, bright line of blood. Then she started screaming. The sound brought every person in the house running. Lucas was first through the door. He scooped her up, and when he saw the mark of my hand on her cheek, his face went dark. Chapter 7 "Ivy. What happened." He'd gritted the question out. His expression was terrifying. "What happened? Why don't you ask the woman in your arms?" Seraphina trembled obligingly, playing the shaken victim. "Lucas, it's not Ivy's fault. I lost my balance. Don't blame her." Catherine, of course, was incandescent. "Seraphina, you're too kind. Even now you're defending this animal! Ivy, if you know what's good for you, you'll agree to the donation. Otherwise you can count on never being recognized by this family!" "Suit yourself," I said. Lucas looked up then. "What donation?" "A liver transplant for Seraphina, of course. Ivy's a match…" Catherine didn't get to finish. Seraphina cut her off with a beautifully timed groan of pain. "Lucas. I don't feel well." Lucas lifted her and headed for the door. Before he walked out, he threw a last line at me. "I want an explanation for today. From you." Then he was gone. Richard and Catherine ran after them, too rattled to remember they'd been cornering me a minute ago. The room emptied. I picked up what was left of the shattered figurine and carried it out of the Ashford house. I walked with it cradled in my hands, each step heavier than the last. Even after all these years, thinking about what Seraphina had done to Happy still left a sharp, hot ache in my chest. I don't know how long I'd been walking when a car pulled up beside me. Ethan's tall frame stepped out. I finally thought to check the time. I was an hour late. "I'm sorry. I…" Before I could finish he'd already folded me into a warm hug. He peeled off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. "What happened? You don't look okay." His voice had gone soft. And I started crying before I could stop myself. "I was just thinking about the dog I used to have." "I couldn't protect her. Someone killed her. And I couldn't even make her pay for it. I wasn't the kind of owner Happy deserved." The more I said, the harder the tears came, blurring everything. Ethan was quiet. He held me. "I'm sorry," he said, low, "for not finding you sooner. For making you go through all of this alone." "You did everything you could. I know that." He tipped my face up and kissed the tears from the corners of my eyes, and then he just held me for a long time. There was something about that pocket of warmth. The exhaustion and the pain that had been rising up in me all night bled out of me in his arms. Until a pair of headlights cut across us. Through the windshield I could see Lucas, watching, his face storm-dark.