Guiding Light to Rebirth

Ethan Hayes and I grew up together, but we ended up resenting each other for a lifetime. He blamed me for taking matters into my own hands, forcing his memories back, and causing his true love to jump off a building. I blamed him for going back on his word. He promised to love me forever, but after losing his memory, he fell for someone else. In the early stages of our ten-year marriage, we were as cold as strangers who knew each other too well. When I got diagnosed with ALS, everyone in town urged him to divorce me. He only carried me to a chapel, knelt among the burning candles for an entire day and night, and prayed for a miracle. On my deathbed, he held me through the night, his forehead against my cheek. "I've done my duty to you in this life," he whispered. "If there's a next one, I hope you don't make me remember. Just let me be with her." Tears slid down my face. I finally got it. I shouldn't have chained him down with our teenage love, dragging him through a whole life. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day I found Ethan. This time, I chose to let him be with his true love instead of waking his memories. Chapter 1 ... "Mr. Hayes has lost his memory. He won't come back with us." "But we've reached out to the top neurologist. He'll get his memories back soon." The conversation was identical to the one from my last life, when I found the missing Ethan Hayes. This time, though, I felt no excitement or urgency. I turned it down and did two things. First, I went to the hospital for a full-body checkup. Second, with my ALS diagnosis in hand, I went to Ethan's parents to call off the engagement. His mother, Gloria Hayes, grabbed my hand and shook her head. "We can't call it off. Ethan loves you so much. He'd never marry anyone else." I stayed quiet and showed them a photo. In it, Ethan gazed at a woman playing a mermaid at the aquarium, obsessed. "Rather than force him to marry a terminal patient like me, let's keep things as they are," I said. "Let him be with whom he loves. I don't want to hold him back anymore." In my last life, after Ethan vanished in an accident, I searched for him for five whole years. I found him living sweetly with Hanna Schultz, who had taken him in. Against his wishes, I forced a hypnotist to restore his memories. The day he remembered, Hanna jumped off a building and died. From then on, a chasm opened between Ethan and me that we could never bridge. In my past life, the initial phase of our decade-long marriage had been filled with coldness. After I got ALS, he cared for me for seven years, feeding me, bathing me, praying for me, and seeking doctors for me. But I knew he had done it out of husbandly duty, not real love. Fighting back my tears, I choked out, "Ethan and I have no future." In this life, I refused to repeat the mistakes. Leaving the Hayes Mansion, I went to find Hanna Schultz. She quickly sent Ethan away, explaining, "I didn't hide him on purpose." "Whether you did or not, you know the truth," I said. Unable to fool me, she bit her lip and broke down. "I know it. His heart has always been with you. Once he remembers, he'll ditch me and run back to you. But I fell for him on the first day of high school. I've loved him for years, but I had never gotten a scrap of attention from him. Finally, I got this chance." Chapter 2 Her voice cracked into sobs. "I just want him by my side for a few more days." I listened quietly, but my gaze drifted past her to the man behind her. His eyes were fixed on me without blinking. His muscles tensed like a storm was brewing. The guy who once shadowed me like a protector was now her guard dog. He was ready to lunge and tear into me if I so much as threatened Hanna. I couldn't pin down the feeling in my chest. I just knew, in this new life, I couldn't selfishly tie him down anymore. I forced a smile. "Don't worry. I'm here to take you two back rather than break you up." Hanna jolted, staring at me in disbelief. "Both of us?" "Yeah." I nodded. "You are his girl now. If I left you behind, he wouldn't come anyway. Pack up. You and Ethan are coming home." My voice stayed even as I added, "His parents know about you. They're fine with it." Overjoyed, she grabbed Ethan's hand and beamed at him before rushing off to pack. Only then did Ethan relax, sure I meant no harm. He pressed his lips together, softening a bit. "Sorry, I thought you were gonna hurt Hanna." His mood swung with hers now. No one remembered how, back when Hanna wouldn't leave him alone, he'd burrow into my arms and urge me to claim him. "Tell them I'm yours and yours alone. Make it sound tough," he had said, making goofy faces for me to copy. We'd always end up laughing, rolling around on the couch in a tangle. Unfortunately, that man was no more. I smiled bitterly, taking them to the Hayes Mansion. When it came time to introduce me, everyone hesitated on what to say. I jumped in. "I'm your childhood buddy. You always treated me like a little sister. You even said you'd set me up with someone. Now that you've got amnesia, it's on hold." The room went awkward for those in the know, but Ethan bought it. He joked, "Alright, once things settle, I will hook you up with a good guy." ... That night, the firelight woke me. I pushed the door open and saw everything tied to Ethan and me burning in a pile. Photos from our childhood, awards we won together, and even the wooden doll he gave me when he confessed crackled into ashes. My heart ached, like something squeezed it. Ethan turned to me. "Back then, we didn't have partners, so being close felt fine. But now Hanna is living with me, and seeing this stuff upsets her. So, I burned it. Hope you don't mind." I dug my nails into my palm, hiding my distress. I muttered, "No big deal. Might as well burn the stuff in my room, too." Chapter 3 I went back into my room and boxed up all his old things, tossing them into the fire. Flames licked hot, but I felt soaked in freezing water. For days after, the yard echoed with banging and tearing. The whole garden of lilies Ethan had planted for me got dug up and replaced with Hanna's favorite red roses. The glass sunroom, where we played piano and watched sunsets, was smashed and turned into a pool for her workouts. Even the wisteria arbor where we first admitted our feelings got ripped out and dug into a pond she loved for lotuses. The day they planted the lotus seeds, Hanna blocked me in the yard. She lifted her chin, flashing the ring on her finger. "Ethan found this ring design in his room, saying it was for his future bride. He stayed up nights making it and proposed to me." She wiggled her finger. "What do you think, pretty?" The bird-and-fish pattern was my old favorite. I nodded, sincere. "It's gorgeous. Looks great on you." "But I hate it. We both know who that design was really for." She glared. "You keep saying you're over Ethan, but his old feelings for you? They're like a ticking bomb. It keeps me up at night." "So, what do you want?" I asked. "I want..." Mid-sentence, she twisted hard and plunged into the muddy pond they'd just dug. A shove sent me stumbling aside, crashing to the ground. My ankle throbbed like hell, and my palm got scraped on rocks, burning up my arm. Before I could get up, Ethan dove in like a madman and hauled Hanna out, both caked in stinking mud. He ignored the mess, frantically wiping mud from her face. His voice was full of panic. "You okay? Choke on water? Eyes sting? Any cuts?" Hanna took a minute to shake her head, then broke into tears. "I'm fine, but the ring you gave me was tossed in the water. I went in to grab it and fell." She held up her hand, and the ring was gone. "I'm not welcome here," she sobbed. "Let's go back to our apartment, okay? At least, no one bullies me there." Her pitiful look tugged at his heart. His eyes went cold. "Who tossed your ring? Who bullied you?" Hanna pressed her lips together and shot me a scared glance, making it obvious. I clutched my swollen ankle, stunned. "It wasn't me." Ethan shot me an icy look that chilled me to the bone. "I got no reason to steal a ring," I rasped, explaining. "You know damn well," Ethan snapped, then scooped Hanna up and nodded to a bodyguard. "Whoever tossed it goes in and fishes it out." Chapter 4 The bodyguard grabbed me and hurled me into the water. The winter water bit me like knives. I shivered hard on contact, scrambling to get out, but he shoved my shoulder back down. "No ring, no getting out." His voice was flat. "Want less pain? Find it fast." I bit my lip and gave in, bobbing in the filthy water. My fingers groped through the icy mud. Dirty water seeped up my sleeves, numbing my fingertips. From dawn to dusk, till Ethan's parents were due back, I finally snagged the ring. Gripping it, I dragged myself to Ethan's door and knocked. He opened the door, his eyes dark. "I'll let it slide this time. Just stay away from Hanna." He flipped his hand, and the ring sailed out of the window. "Hanna doesn't like the style. I'll redesign one for her," he said. I watched the ring I'd fought for vanish into darkness and forced a smile. It made sense. He saw our past as baggage and naturally didn't want the ring that bore reminiscences. ... Even though Ethan's parents never warmed to Hanna, they couldn't fight his stubbornness. They swallowed it and threw a lavish engagement party. Guests kept glancing my way. "Debbie has got it rough—busts her ass finding her guy, and now he's marrying someone else." "They were childhood sweethearts, made for each other. Everyone thought they'd tie the knot. Who saw this twist coming?" "If I were her, I'd slap that jerk and his side piece. No way I'd show up here." Hanna glided to the center in a high-end gown. Ethan held her hand, his eyes overflowing with tenderness. He cleared his throat, dropping his usual chill for something polished. "Folks. Let me introduce you properly to..." Before he could finish, the lights flickered and went out. In the dark, chairs crashed, and screams erupted. I backed into a corner, but someone grabbed my wrist, slapping a rag reeking of chemicals over my mouth. The world spun. I fought hard but eventually blacked out, screams filling my ears. Sometime later, Hanna's hushed yell cut through. "Dammit! Who told you to do it at the engagement party? I said kidnap me and pin it on Debbie. Why did you bring her too? You idiots! Even if you played it straight, you're not getting the rest of the cash. You wrecked my whole plan!" My mind cleared, piecing it together. It was another setup by Hanna, but this went off-script. In the struggle, I'd felt a gun holster on one of them. These weren't her hired thugs. Worse, the leader's voice rang familiar. Chapter 5 It seemed like a business rival Ethan had crushed and cornered lately. The man called Ethan, "Ethan, take a pick from your childhood sweetheart and your love post-amnesia. Who are you saving?" Ethan kept cool on screen, but seeing the bruises on Hanna's shoulder cracked him. "Touch a hair on Hanna, and I'll bury your whole crew!" I shut my eyes, a sour sting hitting them. Tears silently slipped down my face. No surprise. I should've known Ethan's pick. The kidnapper burst out laughing. "You think I'm giving you a choice?" At a gesture, his men dragged me into a glass box, shoving me against a warm body. The box got tossed into the sea, splashing huge. Weights on the bottom sped the sink. I yanked off my heels fast, slamming the metal spike into the glass. The torrent dragged at my limbs, glass shards cutting into my skin. I gritted my teeth, pulling the unconscious Hanna out of the container, and swam desperately toward the surface. By the time we broke water, I was spent, but I did my best to push her onto driftwood, tapping her cheek. "Hang on!" She lived, and Ethan's obsession found its home. As I shoved the wood toward the shore, ALS hit me. My arms went dead, and I sank helplessly into the depths. I stared at the rippling light above and slowly closed my eyes, resigned to fate. Before my consciousness faded, I seemed to see a hand reaching for me. 'Hallucination?' ... I opened my eyes to see the white ceiling of a hospital. A nurse quickly leaned in. "Thank God! You're awake. You've been out for two days. Any longer, we'd have stopped your antibiotics for being unidentified. Lung infection flares without meds." I croaked, "No one visited while I was out?" "Nope," she sighed. "You're a tough case. The girl who came in with you just choked on water. Her boyfriend got her a VIP suite, and he is still there." I froze, then smiled bitterly. Just then, a knock came at the door, followed by a familiar voice. "Debbie." I snapped up, tears flooding at the tall figure. "Couldn't reach you, so I came myself." Cole Norton pulled me into a tight hug and stroked my hair. "Come on, let's go home." He carried me onto the chopper. It pierced clouds, heading abroad. I wiped my tears, gazed out, and whispered, "Ethan, goodbye. Be with Hanna as you wish. We'll never meet again."