Writing Goodbye in My Vows

After I slips and falls in the bathroom, I calls out to my boyfriend, Jared Hammond, for help. But all he does is accuse me of trying to seduce him in my wet clothes. "None of your tricks are going to work! I'm not touching you until Elsie graduates!" he yells. He rushes out to help Elsie Sandberg—the younger sister of his first love, who passed away—with her thesis, ignoring my cries and slamming the door behind him. The pain's so intense I nearly black out, but I manage to use the last of my strength to call an ambulance. Later, the doctor tells me I've suffered a serious fracture and need to be hospitalized. I tried to call Jared over ten times, but he never picks up. Then, I see Elsie's latest Instagram post. "Help! How do I win over a ridiculously hot professor?" The photo shows Jared's hand resting on hers as he patiently walks her through her thesis proposal, again and again. After being discharged from the hospital, I agreed to the marriage that Mom and Dad set up. "Yeah. The sooner the wedding, the better," I said. Chapter 1 Mom seemed genuinely surprised. She was never fond of Jared Hammond, but she knew how much I loved him. If he hadn't broken my heart the way he did, I would've never let him go so easily. Dad, who was also a professor, spoke up. "If you've decided to end it, at least talk it through with him. It's best to part on good terms." I swallowed the bitterness rising in my chest and shook my head. Just last week, while I was still in the hospital, Elsie Sandberg posted on Instagram. "A spontaneous getaway, all thanks to Professor Hammond's generous sponsorship." The photo showed two suitcases side by side—one black, one pink. I recognized the black one right away. It was the limited-edition celebrity collab that I'd given Jared for his birthday this year. I called to confront him, but he brushed me off. "Elsie's thesis focuses on traditional tapestry weaving. It's recognized as an intangible cultural heritage. I just took her to Saffbury for some research. As her advisor, I'm responsible for guiding her." Right on cue, Elsie's voice drifted through the phone. "Professor Hammond, could you grab me a towel?" Jared responded to her coolly, completely unfazed. In the end, he said something that sounded like he was trying to soothe me, or maybe just looking for a way to justify what he'd done. "Willow, if it hadn't been for you back then, Eleanor would still be alive. Everything I'm doing now is helping you make up for what you did." His words pierced straight through me, suffocating me. Even now, he was still holding onto the delusion that I was the one who got his first love, Eleanor Sandberg, killed. If that's the case, why did he choose to date me in the first place? Was it just to waste three damn years of my life? Every message I sent, demanding to know why, never reached Jared. I stared at the single gray checkmark after each message, and my vision started to blur. He'd blocked me, just to keep me from ruining their little vacation. I even begged his friend to call him for me, but all I got back was this. "Tell Willow to quit making a scene. Elsie's thesis is important. It affects her grad school admission. Once this trip's over, I'll give Willow the proposal she's been hoping for." But he was wrong. No one would wait around forever. Chapter 2 I thought the guy I was supposed to marry would be suspicious or hesitant when I asked him to speed up the wedding. But to my surprise, he looked more worried that I might back out. His family even said they'd be happy to have the wedding as early as next week, if that was an option. Mom and Dad asked me for my opinion, clearly nervous. I said yes without even thinking. The only catch? Time was tight, and we still had a bunch of stuff to get done. After dinner with Mom and Dad, I headed back to the house that Jared and I had shared for the past three years. As soon as I unlocked the door and pushed it open, someone jumped out in front of me, blocking the doorway. "Sir, whatever you need, just say the word and I'll—" Elsie, dressed in a maid outfit with bunny ears, stopped mid-sentence the moment she saw me. Or more accurately, the moment she realized I wasn't the person she'd been expecting. I stared at the fishnet stockings hugging her legs, and the skirt that was so short that it barely did its job. She was only eight years younger than me, but the way she radiated raw, unfiltered energy felt like one cruel joke, as if mocking just how dull and lifeless I'd let myself become. "I'm sorry... Jared asked me to come. If you don't want me here, I'll leave right now." Elsie put on her best innocent face and started backing away, only to trip over a suitcase behind her. Right then, Jared sprang out from behind me, throwing himself over her like a human shield. Once he'd made sure Elsie was okay, he immediately rounded on me. "Willow! Can't you cut her some slack? Elsie's still young. Why would you come at her like that?" I watched their little performance with a cold, detached stare. "Young? She's 23, Jared! Who the hell shows up at someone's house dressed like that? She has no sense of decency, no manners, nothing!" Jared's hand shot out, his palm striking me across the face. "Had enough of your tantrum? Not everyone grew up like you, Willow—well-off, sheltered, with everything handed to you on a silver platter!" Chapter 3 Elsie seized the moment and broke down in tears. "It's true. I'm sorry… I know I wasn't brought up properly… My parents died when I was born. There was no one to teach me how to be better… The only one who ever tried was Eleanor… and now she's gone too…" She sobbed into Jared's chest, shaking as if she'd shattered. But when our eyes met, there was no mistaking the hatred hiding just beneath the surface. "Elsie, none of this is your fault. It has nothing to do with you." Jared looked down at her, sympathy in his eyes. His hand lifted on instinct to wipe away her tears, but stopped halfway when he finally took in what she was wearing. "Why are you dressed like this…" His voice faded, swallowing hard as desire smoldered in his gaze. Elsie bit back a smirk. She dipped her head, feigning a shyness she didn't feel. "I've got a club event tomorrow night. It's just a costume for the performance. Professor Hammond, if it bothers you, I'll take it off right now!" And with that, Elsie actually started to undress. Jared shot forward and grabbed her hands, stopping her. I might as well have been invisible. "If it's for a performance, then there's nothing wrong with it." Jared shot me a pointed look. "Funny how it's always the ones with filthy minds who cry foul first." I scoffed. As I watched Elsie put on her little show, all I could think about was the three years I'd wasted on this joke of a relationship. After Eleanor died, I became Jared's girlfriend. But not once, in all that time, did he ever touch me. I kept telling myself that grief took time, that if I waited long enough, his heart would open to me. But reality had other plans, and it hit hard. The second Eleanor was gone, Elsie showed up to take her place. To Jared, I was nothing more than a stand-in. I tried to take things further, wearing the skimpy outfits my best friend swore would work, hoping he'd finally want me. But he kept pulling away, and every time he looked at me, it was with a little more disgust in his eyes. I thought maybe I wasn't captivating enough, so I signed up for dance lessons. But in the end, not even my graceful moves earned me a second glance from Jared. Instead, every effort I made to please him got slapped with ugly labels like "scheming" and "desperate", straight from my own boyfriend's mouth. All it took was a glimpse of Elsie's face, just enough to resemble Eleanor's, to stir something in Jared, the man who'd always seemed so distant. Suddenly, everything I'd done felt like some kind of cruel joke. It wasn't that I wasn't enough. I just wasn't the one he'd been holding onto all along. Chapter 4 "Guess I should just move back into the dorm," Elsie muttered, brushing Jared off as she turned to pack her suitcase. Right on cue, a few photos spilled out. They were pictures of Elsie in old-fashioned outfits. From the look of the backdrop, they must've been taken in the historic streets of Saffbury. Elsie and Jared stood too close to be casual, their eyes saying everything they didn't. Tucked away in the locked cabinet of Jared's study was an identical photo album, taken at the same place, in the same costumes, with a woman who looked uncannily like Elsie. It was how he kept reliving his memories of Eleanor, again and again. I begged Jared a million times to hit that beach just an hour's drive away every summer, but he kept ghosting me with different stories. He scooped the photos off the floor like they were something delicate, something that mattered. "It's too late to get into the dorms. Just stay here tonight." Elsie shot me an uneasy glance, and Jared said, "Why are you looking at her? This is my house. I get to decide who stays!" I studied Jared, calm and distant. "Right. Your house." I should've been the one to leave. It wasn't like I ever planned on coming back. I brushed past them and headed for the bedroom to grab my things. Jared grabbed my arm. "You'll take the guest room. Elsie likes to watch the sunrise." As if that made a difference. "Fine," I said. Jared clearly hadn't expected me to give in so easily. For once, the cold look on his face softened just a little. His eyes flicked to the swelling on my cheek, and for the first time, there was a trace of regret in his voice. "Wait. Let me get you some ointment for that." "No need," I coldly replied. What was a bruise anyway when my heart was already in pieces? I ignored them both, pulled out my suitcase, and packed only a few clothes and the bare essentials before heading straight to the guest room. The rest could be replaced. Nothing new could begin until the old was gone. Jared tried to follow me, but the door clicked shut behind me and stayed locked. He knocked a few times. Then he said, tentatively and probing,"Willow, you're not actually mad, are you?" We always ended up at war every time Elsie came up, be it quiet, tense standoffs or loud, messy arguments. But now, my calmness caught him off guard. Chapter 5 "Of course not. Why would I be mad? Elsie's just your student, not your girlfriend," I responded with a tone dripping with sarcasm. The silence stretched, thick and tense. Jared finally exhaled, like he'd been holding his breath. "Don't worry, Willow. Once this is all over, I'll make it up to you." Make it up to me? I let out a laugh, cold and amused. Too bad I no longer needed anything from him. "Professor Hammond!" Elsie's voice suddenly rang out from the bathroom. Jared bolted toward the door, panic written all over his face. "Elsie? What happened? Did you fall? Elsie?" He kept calling, but there was no answer. I couldn't take my eyes off the frosted glass. Jared was too rattled to notice the faint shadow moving just behind the door. He called her name a few more times, but still got no answer. After a beat of hesitation, he pushed open the unlocked door. Almost at the same moment, Elsie, barely dressed, threw herself at Jared. She let out a soft, breathy moan, her voice syrupy sweet. "Professor Hammond, why don't you just pretend I'm Eleanor?" "Stop this," he said. He tried to push her away, but his hand brushed against something soft, and he froze. That hesitation was all she needed. She pressed herself against him fully, emboldened by his silence. "Why? Am I not good enough compared to Eleanor? Or even Willow?" Defeated, Jared softened his voice. "Be good, okay? We'll talk tomorrow." I stared at the two tangled shadows on the wall, my fingers drifting instinctively to my right elbow, the same spot I'd fractured when I slipped in that bathroom. It still ached faintly. Jared left me alone that day. If I hadn't left my phone within reach, I never would've been able to call for help. The cruel twist? Watching something eerily similar unfold with Elsie now showed me how easily it could've ended another way. A wry smile tugged at my lips as I pulled the door shut again. Chapter 6 The next morning, when I woke up, the house was quiet and empty. On the dining table, Jared had left me breakfast—a hand pie and some hash browns. Beside it was a note, written in his handwriting. "I'm taking Elsie to college. Wait for me." I grabbed my suitcase and tossed the cold hand pie and hash browns straight into the trash, along with the bracelet I'd worn on my wrist for the past two years. It was the only thing Jared had ever given me. Even if it was just something someone else had handed off to him, I used to treat it like it was worth everything. Now, it doesn't mean a damn thing anymore. When I got home, Mom greeted me with a beaming smile as she took my suitcase. "We were just talking about booking the wedding venue with the Lennons." I glanced around the familiar house, and a lump rose in my throat. "Everything's booked already?" "All set. This afternoon, we're going to pick out your wedding dress. My daughter's finally getting married." Her eyes shimmered with tears. I was an only child, spoiled with love and attention from the moment I was born. Before Jared came into my life, everything had been easy and smooth. However, I'd let someone like him tear me to pieces. Mom and Dad were probably hurting even more than I was. I reached up and wiped the tears from her face. "What's with the waterworks? It's not like I'm getting married today." … The bridal shop was only a short walk from our house, just over ten minutes. We were almost there when Mom suddenly remembered that we still needed to pick up the invitations. I told her to go ahead, and that I'd wait at the shop. However, before I even stepped inside, I froze. There was Elsie, glowing in a white wedding dress, clinging to Jared with a happy smile on her face. The bridal consultant beside them wouldn't stop gushing about how perfect they were for each other. Through the mirror, Jared immediately spotted me standing at the entrance. "Willow, why did you follow us here? Don't get the wrong idea. Elsie and I are just taking some wedding photos to make up for a missed moment." I walked right in, feeling nothing. Elsie saw me and gave me a look that looked like she could spit nails. "Exactly, Ms. Clarke. Professor Hammond is simply trying to come to terms with the past. And if I'm fine stepping in for Eleanor, surely you're not going to get all worked up about it, right?" A group of bridal consultants lingered nearby, their faces bright with curiosity. I kept my face neutral. "Of course. Don't let me get in your way." I ignored them and turned my attention to the dresses instead. Jared went still. From behind me, I could feel his panic rising. "Willow, why are you here?"